Comments | devoidly: fic: Little by Little

devoidly

fic: Little by Little

Apr 07, 2011 19:35

title: Little by Little
pairing: Mark/Eduardo
rating: R
word count/warning: ~10,000
disclaimer: This is a work of fiction.
summary: Written for this prompt at the tsn_kinkmeme: Mark has an unrequited crush on Eduardo which Eduardo decides to exploit when Mark tells him that's he is going to get left behind.

( The morning Eduardo wakes up to find Mark leaning over him; Mark's hands hovering while his eyes look ever so hungry, he realizes that he's probably exactly as dumb as the box of rocks his father used to describe him as. )

Comments 52

asioleh April 8 2011, 02:19:11 UTC

I´ve read this fic when it was post in tsn_kinkmeme: and thought it was great, since then I´ve been trying to find it again so I can do another read, so thank you for posting it here now.
By the way, I loved it.

devoidly April 8 2011, 13:56:03 UTC

Thank you. You know, I have trouble finding it on the kinkmeme - and I wrote it.

anonymous April 8 2011, 02:40:02 UTC

Jesus fuck.
This is actually really really really depressing.
I mean, it's beautifully written but OH THE ANGST!!!

devoidly April 8 2011, 14:06:10 UTC

It wasn't supposed to be this depressing, except writing the beginning bummed me out so much that I took a break and wrote three other fics instead. And in that time someone else wrote a fill that went where I probably would have gone. So I ended up something even more depressing. I guess I have no one to blame but myself. :)

poemwithnorhyme April 8 2011, 04:08:11 UTC

This is just glorious! Very realistic, to have them go from best friends to something more; Eduardo's thoughts are very realistic. He loved Mark all along, but he just had to realize it. It's almost painful, to see him recognize his own emotions, but emotions aren't always pretty. Wonderful job!

devoidly April 8 2011, 14:11:20 UTC

Thank you. Eduardo was really difficult to write, especially since he couldn't be too nice or too okay with homosexuality in general. But he still needed to be sympathetic. That was tough going, especially in the beginning. His gay panic was annoying me - and I was writing him.

scarlet_ibis01 April 8 2011, 05:07:07 UTC

I think this is gorgeous.
I like how that undercurrent of depression and Eduardo's sense of trapped despair mixes with something else contradictory, a small sense of release and a quiet, silent, pathetic sort of happiness. I have a feeling that Eduardo in here gave up so much and got so little, but that little is what matters most of all.
It's quite pathetic the way this AU Eduardo has enslaved himself to Mark but salvages happiness through this utter mess. It's so contradictory and at the same time quite perfect.

The story is so bittersweet without the melodramatic edge. You wrote in such a cool, calm and observant style... am so in love with this.
also, I'm raptured by the ending.

devoidly April 8 2011, 14:19:20 UTC

Thank you. You know the contradiction I found most interesting that Mark was so content with what he had even it didn't amount to more than what Eduardo had. Perhaps even less. In a way Eduardo isn't just giving up on his old dreams what his life should be like, he accepts Mark's take on things - that what they, what they share, is enough. I don't know if that makes it better or worse.

michmush April 8 2011, 05:09:05 UTC

Incredible story, showing how it's all built on a lie and how a lie can become real in its own way. Eduardo gets that billion dollars, that phone call from his father, but he doesn't get to have peace until his apology to Mark. And Mark should apologize too--some part of him must have wondered if Eduardo was entirely willing. A better man would have found out, but Mark concedes that he is not a completely good man.

I really like the twist with Jamie, that you can fall in love but realize that the life you have built with your partner means more. It's a very mature moment, and I think it helps Eduardo reach the point where he could ask Mark to marry him.

devoidly April 8 2011, 14:29:19 UTC

Thank you.

And Mark should apologize too--some part of him must have wondered if Eduardo was entirely willing. A better man would have found out, but Mark concedes that he is not a completely good man.

I think there's some ambiguity to which degree Mark knew or could have known, but I really, really wanted to make it a point when Eduardo all but said stop thrice that first time. And the way Mark never was unhappy about Eduardo dropping out of Harvard and Stanford. And that in the end, he gets to say that he has got everything he wants.

I didn't want Mark to be the hapless victim because the situation is so shitty that you wouldn't wish it on a good man.