(no subject)
Written 5-7-02
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Well, i got a hold of Babbages today, and i got the job. When i got home, i talked to my dad to see if i could stay there again, and he told me they would be moving in 2 weeks. I found that to be fucked up. He said they would probably be getting a 3 bedrroom, but i dont see how they will fit 7 people in a 3 bedroom. That is, unless Danielle has plans of moving out. So i have to call my grandmother and see if i can stay there just for a month. Chad said hed wanna get a place, so if i can stay at my grandmothers for a month, i can save up money. Laura came out to see Neil at Perkins. I knew she had no idea i was gonna be there. I realized how much i missed her. And that got me to thinkin about my Exs. There are only 2 exs i would like to get back together with, Laura, and Rebecca. Then i started thinking about how lonely ive been these past 9 months. 9 fucking months! Laura says i need to talk to her more, but shes always busy when i message her, and when i call, shes always gone, so it really does no good. Me and Rebecca have been talking. Im supposed to take her on a date this summer. Good thing i have a job. Laura just left. She gave me a hug and told me to get a hold of her. *shrug* I REALLY care about her. She says Dating is Evil. I dont thing she would think that if she knew how mich i cared about her. The same with Rebecca. Only in Rebecca's case, she knows how much i care about her when we were together. I just think she doesnt believe i care for her that much now. Either that, or she wont give me a second chance, not that i blame her. I just dont get WHY i care about Laura so deeply. i mean, we dated 3 days. It doesnt change the fact though. I know i dont care about these two because ive been single. Hell, most of my relationships have failed because the girls didnt live up to either of these two. They say youll never forget your first love. I cant forget my first two. Either of these girls could have me with just the snap of a finger. A blink of an eye. There is nothing within my power that i wouldnt do for them. Pull down the stars and heaven and give it to them on a chain to wear about their necks. I think about each of them at least once a day. Sometimes my thoughts llinger, causing me to space out, or to lay in bed, unable to sleep. Thinking of times spent with them make me smile, like me and Rebecca cuddling up on the lawn at the Live concert. But sometimes, i think about the fact that i might not, or cannot, be with them again. If either of the two should read this, i write this not to bring up bad memories, but to just say that words cannot express how much i love the two of you.
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Well, i got a hold of Babbages today, and i got the job. When i got home, i talked to my dad to see if i could stay there again, and he told me they would be moving in 2 weeks. I found that to be fucked up. He said they would probably be getting a 3 bedrroom, but i dont see how they will fit 7 people in a 3 bedroom. That is, unless Danielle has plans of moving out. So i have to call my grandmother and see if i can stay there just for a month. Chad said hed wanna get a place, so if i can stay at my grandmothers for a month, i can save up money. Laura came out to see Neil at Perkins. I knew she had no idea i was gonna be there. I realized how much i missed her. And that got me to thinkin about my Exs. There are only 2 exs i would like to get back together with, Laura, and Rebecca. Then i started thinking about how lonely ive been these past 9 months. 9 fucking months! Laura says i need to talk to her more, but shes always busy when i message her, and when i call, shes always gone, so it really does no good. Me and Rebecca have been talking. Im supposed to take her on a date this summer. Good thing i have a job. Laura just left. She gave me a hug and told me to get a hold of her. *shrug* I REALLY care about her. She says Dating is Evil. I dont thing she would think that if she knew how mich i cared about her. The same with Rebecca. Only in Rebecca's case, she knows how much i care about her when we were together. I just think she doesnt believe i care for her that much now. Either that, or she wont give me a second chance, not that i blame her. I just dont get WHY i care about Laura so deeply. i mean, we dated 3 days. It doesnt change the fact though. I know i dont care about these two because ive been single. Hell, most of my relationships have failed because the girls didnt live up to either of these two. They say youll never forget your first love. I cant forget my first two. Either of these girls could have me with just the snap of a finger. A blink of an eye. There is nothing within my power that i wouldnt do for them. Pull down the stars and heaven and give it to them on a chain to wear about their necks. I think about each of them at least once a day. Sometimes my thoughts llinger, causing me to space out, or to lay in bed, unable to sleep. Thinking of times spent with them make me smile, like me and Rebecca cuddling up on the lawn at the Live concert. But sometimes, i think about the fact that i might not, or cannot, be with them again. If either of the two should read this, i write this not to bring up bad memories, but to just say that words cannot express how much i love the two of you.