(no subject)

[devised]

its starting to slip again. my mind asks why when the answer is in the question. the more i think about how i act the more i understand why i don't appeal to anyone. I'm a loser. i need to get out. i need to lose touch with my mind and let it deal with things the way it feels the need to. i am no longer anythign of value to anyone or anything. i am completely devolved. primordial if you will. the parts of me that want me gone enjoy this very much. i don't know why or how i would make my life any different. sure i might be better off with a career and sure i might be better off going to school and finding what i'm good at. but why? for what? there will be no one left to enjoy things with. i don't think i was meant to be this person.

i dont think i was meant to make it this far.