You're Just as Sane As I Am

[devilzzz]

Phew! Looks like Hurricane Dennis's little brother showed up in NY today to pay us a little visit. It was kind of creepy when the windows all started banging open and the wind was crashing in the room, but I must say, summer rain is the most beautiful weather I've ever encountered. Today was a productive day, or should I say afternoon? Granted, the

Comments

[devilzzz]

It could, and I can see how it relates to that. Verbal abuse, physical abuse, sexual abuse, can all, in some way reflect on their relationship. I see sexual abuse the most because a reader pointed out (I have yet to find the message, but when I do, I shall credit) that Harry was only telling the truth, something that is natural for him to do. When Umbridge punished him for doing that, she made the natural into something unnatural, something normal and pure into dirty and disgusting. They also pointed out that after this, Harry and Cho's relationship, the one pure and normal thing going on in his life, seemed to have trouble. I can see that this happens in sexual abuse, too. The abuser takes something natural like sex and uses it against the abused so that he or she feels unnerved by it. Harry is affected by this, feeling it is a matter of 'keeping quiet' rather than telling or fighting about it

[devilzzz]

I don't know what to say to that other than that I agree! Umbridge and Harry's relationship was presented physical and verbal. Sexual is just one interpretation, although in the end, any abuse hurts.

I can also relate to you on how it affected your relationships and your confidence. I remember being verbally and physically abused by boys when I was in eighth grade, throughout the entire year. It took a lot of time, patience, and effort to understand that I was not dumb, ugly, or worthless, like the boys had taunted me and wanted me to believe. It took that epiphany to get me started and follow through. In that prospect, what you said completely hits home with me. We have different experiences, but both left a strong impact and a desire for improvement. Thank you for sharing that experience with me. It's good to talk to another survivor.

[devilzzz]

That sounds pretty awful, especially when you deserved none of it. I am sorry that happened to you. People can be cruel without knowing the extent of how much they can really hurt someone. I was the outcast in my class, and only had a very small circle of friends, like two or three. Yes, they would like when I reacted. Bullies like nothing better than that - and they all knew I was a very angry child, so they would pass by me and pretend I smelled, laugh when I got called on unexpectedly, try to make me eat things like glue while they said it was milk, steal my bookbag, and on one occasion, hit me on the head with a watch while I slept on the bus. I did not have the luxury of even enjoying my own birthday, because the boy worst of all the boys sat next to me and teased me until I cried. They LOVED that reaction. Crying, yelling, cursing, so finally, I decided not to give it to them. I sat quiet while they talked about me, loudly so I could hear, stared at me like I was something filthy, and then said 'Shh..don't say any more, she'll

[devilzzz]

Well I am sorry that motivation made it worse for you. Different things work for different people, but the 'I can do this' did help me improve and get through it. I really don't think it's shit, or at least, it wasn't for me. I also thought, 'I don't have to listen to these people.' and 'Just ignore it. Even though it hurts, you'll be out of there soon enough'. Under your circumstances though, it doesn't seem possible. I think the best thing you could've done was report the teacher, but I am not sure if it would've helped since I never went to your school.

[devilzzz]

Wow. I am sorry to hear all of this, but in a way I think you expressing this is good for you. You said you never told anyone, and keeping this sort of abuse inside, no matter how strong you are, which I am sure you are very - is never recommended. You smiled and beared it then, but maybe now you should talk to someone? Not to report these kids or the teacher, but to have someone listen. A counselor, a close friend, a family member. I am sure someone you respect and love isn't going to say they don't believe you, because they care too much about you to say that you're lying or even fathom it. It's just a suggestion, you don't have to take it or anything. But, yeah, sometimes it helps.

[devilzzz]

That's cool, too, then. Writing's a good way to express yourself. I am glad.