the product of my thoughts last night
I spoke to a person yesterday who told me when I need to cut to write down why, well this is the product of it:
Every soft word he uttered
remains engraved deeply
the scars cant hide
I wont let it surfact
even though im scared
I appear strong
the world never goes right
it always goes wrong
Sorry that im not a perfect child
Sorry that my stomach isnt flat
Sorry that my eyes refuse to cry
Sorry that my heart refuses to bleed
Sorry that im not special enough
Sorry that I couldnt give you what you need
Sorry that I couldnt pretend anymore
Sorry that I couldn't cope
Sorry that I spoke up
Sorry that I refused to choke
Sorry that I messed up your life
Sorry that I didnt have the strength to fight
Sorry that I hurt your penis
Sorry that i'm me.
Im laid in bed tonight
and again my eyes weep
over every little cut
that went a little to deep
the softly spoken child
who never seems to speak
her world is shattered
by those evil lies
inside her shell she cries
again my soul screams
another painful memory
that im too scared to face
Just had a big freak out fit cause I had a flash back whilst smoking downstairs!! fucks sake can't even smoke without him being in my brain. On a worse note I killed IT today, not exactly sure how to feel, ANGRY, upset & confused sums it up well though.
FUCKS SAKE AAAARRRGH its fucking sick stupid fucking cunt fucker GRRRR!!!!! I HATE him and I dont fucking "do" hate ERUGGGH I want him fucking out of me, my head & my life !! FUCK TARD
As for mother, one thing, you 2 faced bitch: Go shag the rapist, you might aswell have. You evil, back-stabbing fuckwit. Do I fuck want to see her again EVER.
You made me cry & no fucker does that. Asif I have nightmares over you, Erugggh you sick twisted rapist. Thats exactly what he fucking is, childabusers. Hope it made him fucking feel good.
FUCCCCKIIING ARRRRRGGGGHHHH
Dick'ed
Maybe I was a little shit when I was younger but saying I deserved it, thats sick.
RAPE KILLS YOU FUCKING ARSEHOLE
Little old man, I see his eyes
I feel his touch & smell his stink
creeping towards me as a child
touching me harshly
whilst whispering lies
again im thrown against a wall
"please no more" he heard me scream
but ignore me he did
again and again
I cried but this heart is cold
little old man, I saw your lies.
You terrified me, yes you did
Always denied
what you kept so well hid
stopped in your tracks you were
Remember the time you broke the glass
Yes thought so, again you lie
Cover your tracks
but with what you did
theres no going back
people like you deserve to die
for everytime you made me cry
for everytime you told a lie
for everytime you made me wanna die
What the fuck are you?
Thanks 2 Mark a good idea, I didn't cut. ! *SMILES*
Every soft word he uttered
remains engraved deeply
the scars cant hide
I wont let it surfact
even though im scared
I appear strong
the world never goes right
it always goes wrong
Sorry that im not a perfect child
Sorry that my stomach isnt flat
Sorry that my eyes refuse to cry
Sorry that my heart refuses to bleed
Sorry that im not special enough
Sorry that I couldnt give you what you need
Sorry that I couldnt pretend anymore
Sorry that I couldn't cope
Sorry that I spoke up
Sorry that I refused to choke
Sorry that I messed up your life
Sorry that I didnt have the strength to fight
Sorry that I hurt your penis
Sorry that i'm me.
Im laid in bed tonight
and again my eyes weep
over every little cut
that went a little to deep
the softly spoken child
who never seems to speak
her world is shattered
by those evil lies
inside her shell she cries
again my soul screams
another painful memory
that im too scared to face
Just had a big freak out fit cause I had a flash back whilst smoking downstairs!! fucks sake can't even smoke without him being in my brain. On a worse note I killed IT today, not exactly sure how to feel, ANGRY, upset & confused sums it up well though.
FUCKS SAKE AAAARRRGH its fucking sick stupid fucking cunt fucker GRRRR!!!!! I HATE him and I dont fucking "do" hate ERUGGGH I want him fucking out of me, my head & my life !! FUCK TARD
As for mother, one thing, you 2 faced bitch: Go shag the rapist, you might aswell have. You evil, back-stabbing fuckwit. Do I fuck want to see her again EVER.
You made me cry & no fucker does that. Asif I have nightmares over you, Erugggh you sick twisted rapist. Thats exactly what he fucking is, childabusers. Hope it made him fucking feel good.
FUCCCCKIIING ARRRRRGGGGHHHH
Dick'ed
Maybe I was a little shit when I was younger but saying I deserved it, thats sick.
RAPE KILLS YOU FUCKING ARSEHOLE
Little old man, I see his eyes
I feel his touch & smell his stink
creeping towards me as a child
touching me harshly
whilst whispering lies
again im thrown against a wall
"please no more" he heard me scream
but ignore me he did
again and again
I cried but this heart is cold
little old man, I saw your lies.
You terrified me, yes you did
Always denied
what you kept so well hid
stopped in your tracks you were
Remember the time you broke the glass
Yes thought so, again you lie
Cover your tracks
but with what you did
theres no going back
people like you deserve to die
for everytime you made me cry
for everytime you told a lie
for everytime you made me wanna die
What the fuck are you?
Thanks 2 Mark a good idea, I didn't cut. ! *SMILES*