And again I refuse to cry
I look back on my past and I remember the things that i've loved and lost. It should cut me up inside but i'll be honest it doesn't anymore, I feel numb to it now. Maybe this is my inner strength coming through but maybe its my psychological state surpressing feelings untill i'm strong enough to deal with them properly. I think I need to cry for a few hours but i'm not going to let myself, that would be showing both him and them weakness and I am not about to do that. I will go back to the days where I could fake a smile no matter what the situation, and I will fight. Even when the world couldn't get any blacker, that smile will remain on my face and I will never quit this battle because that is what I taught myself to do when I was younger so that is what I will do now. Even though i'm well aware that these feelings will resurface themselves in the future i'd much rather enjoy my teenaged years while I still can. I'm determind to beat this pent up, angry, weak stage in my life because i'm Millie and you know what being Millie rocks sometimes.
I know that times are hard right now but things will get better because after every storm comes a rainbow. So from tomorrow I will get out of bed on a morning but my face on and pretend to myself and everybody else that i'm okay because I know when i've dealt with this bunch of crap I will be ok. I don't even want to try and deal with this now, I know i'm almost at cracking point but it's tough shit, it happend and I will deal with the consqences.
People can say i'm a fuck up but at the end of the day we are only a by-product of our experiences. I can't change my past but I can change my future, I can and will be the girl I dreamed of when I was younger. I'm fired up today and it feels good. I'm fired up to let the rest of the world see my strength. I will be the woman that I deserve to be, oneday. It'll take time but I know I can make it through. I was born to fight in a world so full of hate. I was born to over-come difficulties and I was born to prove everybody wrong. NO LONGER AM I WEAK.
My friends mean the world to me and I know that without these few amazingly beautiful souls in my life that I wouldn't be here today let alone being able to fight. So this ones for you:
Thanks for every little hug you gave me
Thanks for never letting my walk alone
Thanks for making me smile
Thanks for drying my tears
Thanks for making me believe I could win
Thanks for the kind words
Thanks for being there
Thanks for being amazing people
Thanks for showing that you care
Thanks for letting me be me
Thanks for putting up with the storms
Thanks for getting me drunk
Thanks for allowing me to accept myself
Thanks for being there to throw away the blades
Thanks for the all night convosations
Thanks for letting me crash & burn
Thanks for sticking by me
Thanks for everything
I'll raise my glass to my friends and I would give my life for theres and take anybody elses aswell.
I know that times are hard right now but things will get better because after every storm comes a rainbow. So from tomorrow I will get out of bed on a morning but my face on and pretend to myself and everybody else that i'm okay because I know when i've dealt with this bunch of crap I will be ok. I don't even want to try and deal with this now, I know i'm almost at cracking point but it's tough shit, it happend and I will deal with the consqences.
People can say i'm a fuck up but at the end of the day we are only a by-product of our experiences. I can't change my past but I can change my future, I can and will be the girl I dreamed of when I was younger. I'm fired up today and it feels good. I'm fired up to let the rest of the world see my strength. I will be the woman that I deserve to be, oneday. It'll take time but I know I can make it through. I was born to fight in a world so full of hate. I was born to over-come difficulties and I was born to prove everybody wrong. NO LONGER AM I WEAK.
My friends mean the world to me and I know that without these few amazingly beautiful souls in my life that I wouldn't be here today let alone being able to fight. So this ones for you:
Thanks for every little hug you gave me
Thanks for never letting my walk alone
Thanks for making me smile
Thanks for drying my tears
Thanks for making me believe I could win
Thanks for the kind words
Thanks for being there
Thanks for being amazing people
Thanks for showing that you care
Thanks for letting me be me
Thanks for putting up with the storms
Thanks for getting me drunk
Thanks for allowing me to accept myself
Thanks for being there to throw away the blades
Thanks for the all night convosations
Thanks for letting me crash & burn
Thanks for sticking by me
Thanks for everything
I'll raise my glass to my friends and I would give my life for theres and take anybody elses aswell.