There and Back Again...
You know, I can actually use that subject heading and it couldn't be more true, and not even in a cheesy, I'm an LOTR/Hobbit dork sort of way. It's been one year since I've graduated, and now, one year later, I went back. To my surprise, I came home feeling more inspired and ready to move on than I was a year ago.
First off, I started my trip driving past Roanoke and to Covington to see my favorite Wendy-lady, known to many of you as mystic9429. We had a grand old time up in the mountains--laughing, talking, looking at the pretty scenery and getting bowled over by dogs. Thank you, Wendy, for a lovely time, and hopefully, we'll get to do it again.
It wasn't until I was turning onto Williamson Road (from Troutville) that it hit me, the weight of what it meant to be going back to Hollins a year later. Passing the familiar scenery, remembering the drive, I got teary, knowing that I lived here for four years of my life, and this place would never be mine again. I'd had my shot, and it was time to move on.
Being on campus though wasn't that bad. Alex and I squealed over seeing each other for the first time in a year and a half, and we had a wonderful time talking and slurping down Frosties from Wendys. Friday I got to reacquaint myself with kirroyale, drlele, and many other graduates (many from LJ), and the funny thing was, even though the three of us were staying at a hotel, it was like nothing changed. We still chatted about movies, television, politics (where I shut up, listen, and ask questions), and whatever else tickles our fancy. Saturday I got to catch up with the lovely fille_parfaite and postcard_life, and again, it was like nothing changed. We just all clicked back together, catching up, asking questions, and laughing over whatever merriment came our way.
Graduation was beautiful, even though it was hot and humid. I probably have a sunburn, despite the sunscreen, but it was worth it to see so many of my girls graduate, to listen to a speaker that might as well have been speaking to me instead of the class of 2004. Creating your own future, and I realize, thanks to the speech, that I've been letting mine create me, instead of the other way around.
This weekend, I was able to put those bitter demons behind me. This weekend, I realized who my allies really were, and who just didn't matter any more. It's amazing what we can build up in our heads about people, and when you finally look at them, hear about them, they have no more power over you than anyone else. Imagination gives people power, and thankfully, I can safely say that I don't have to look up to anyone any more. I don't have to be afraid of those who think I've failed them. Why? Because I know who supports me, who believes in me, and who reflects the vision of me I've always had for myself.
Faculty-wise, I saw everyone I wanted. Everyone remembered me, chatted easily, and it was great to be back among their company. I do feel sorry, though, for Dr. Keyne, who caught me storming across the quad muttering, "shit, shit, shit, shit, shit..." under my breath while trying to find kirroyale and company so I could be taken back to Wal-Mart to take care of a flat tire (long story. just know that my car+Roanoke+nails=flat tires. All the damn time!!!).
I never expected my trip back to be so great, so relaxing and inspiring at the same time. I didn't expect to come away with the knowledge that I'm really ready to move on, ready to put the past behind me, and to create a future that I always thought would find me instead.
I still have more to say, more that relates to those of you in LJ-land, but that'll wait. Greg's making cookies, and the season finale of Alias will be on soon.
Hollins girls, thanks. I love you guys way too much. :)
First off, I started my trip driving past Roanoke and to Covington to see my favorite Wendy-lady, known to many of you as mystic9429. We had a grand old time up in the mountains--laughing, talking, looking at the pretty scenery and getting bowled over by dogs. Thank you, Wendy, for a lovely time, and hopefully, we'll get to do it again.
It wasn't until I was turning onto Williamson Road (from Troutville) that it hit me, the weight of what it meant to be going back to Hollins a year later. Passing the familiar scenery, remembering the drive, I got teary, knowing that I lived here for four years of my life, and this place would never be mine again. I'd had my shot, and it was time to move on.
Being on campus though wasn't that bad. Alex and I squealed over seeing each other for the first time in a year and a half, and we had a wonderful time talking and slurping down Frosties from Wendys. Friday I got to reacquaint myself with kirroyale, drlele, and many other graduates (many from LJ), and the funny thing was, even though the three of us were staying at a hotel, it was like nothing changed. We still chatted about movies, television, politics (where I shut up, listen, and ask questions), and whatever else tickles our fancy. Saturday I got to catch up with the lovely fille_parfaite and postcard_life, and again, it was like nothing changed. We just all clicked back together, catching up, asking questions, and laughing over whatever merriment came our way.
Graduation was beautiful, even though it was hot and humid. I probably have a sunburn, despite the sunscreen, but it was worth it to see so many of my girls graduate, to listen to a speaker that might as well have been speaking to me instead of the class of 2004. Creating your own future, and I realize, thanks to the speech, that I've been letting mine create me, instead of the other way around.
This weekend, I was able to put those bitter demons behind me. This weekend, I realized who my allies really were, and who just didn't matter any more. It's amazing what we can build up in our heads about people, and when you finally look at them, hear about them, they have no more power over you than anyone else. Imagination gives people power, and thankfully, I can safely say that I don't have to look up to anyone any more. I don't have to be afraid of those who think I've failed them. Why? Because I know who supports me, who believes in me, and who reflects the vision of me I've always had for myself.
Faculty-wise, I saw everyone I wanted. Everyone remembered me, chatted easily, and it was great to be back among their company. I do feel sorry, though, for Dr. Keyne, who caught me storming across the quad muttering, "shit, shit, shit, shit, shit..." under my breath while trying to find kirroyale and company so I could be taken back to Wal-Mart to take care of a flat tire (long story. just know that my car+Roanoke+nails=flat tires. All the damn time!!!).
I never expected my trip back to be so great, so relaxing and inspiring at the same time. I didn't expect to come away with the knowledge that I'm really ready to move on, ready to put the past behind me, and to create a future that I always thought would find me instead.
I still have more to say, more that relates to those of you in LJ-land, but that'll wait. Greg's making cookies, and the season finale of Alias will be on soon.
Hollins girls, thanks. I love you guys way too much. :)