Augest propt
I struggled to open my eyes.
"Morning sunshine" somone said, I finaly got my eyes open Hotch stood over me. I blinked a coupple times.
"Did you get him?" I asked. He didn't answer he just looked at me, and in that moment I knew the answer was no.
"Emily... we had to make a choice we-" he started.
"If you sacraficed getting this guy because I was hurt then I-" I cut him off
"Emily you could have died" His voice cracked as he said it, I looked up at him. "you were the one I wasn't supposed to have to worry about" he said
"What?" I asked.
"You are normaly the one I don't have to look after you, Rossi, and Morgan can take care of your selves I'm supposed to have to look after you, you can take care of your self Em I don't worry about you and now-" His voice definitly cracked that time. "I don't like you getting hurt" He finaly said.
"Hotch I'll be fine" I whispered.
"Em you could have been kill do you know that" He whispered leaning over the hospital bed so close my heart stopped beating for a seccond. I looked into his eyes his black eyes.
But before anything else could happed the door opened, JJ walked in, Hotch jumped away from the bed. I reached my hand up to pull him back but it hurt to much so I let it fall squeeking in pain.
"Em! what's wrong?" JJ and Hotch said in unison both looking at me.
"I'm fine" I hissed.
"No yoiu're not we could both here that" Hotch said.
"I'm fine just moved wrong realy" I said.
"You barley moved at all" Hotch said.
"Hotch I'm fine" I said.
"If you say so" He said. "But Em you got knifed" He added.
"I'm well aware of that Hotch" I hissed trying to sit up.
"Em!" JJ exclaimed "You are so not fine and I know it" I cringed at the loudness of her voice.
"JJ go get the doctor" Hotch said.
"Hotch I'm fine, I mean it I'm fine"
"No you're not so don't try to fake it" He said.
"I'm not faking anything I'm fine Hotch" I said, swining my legs off the hospital bed and sitting up. He put his arm around my waist.
"What do you think you're doing?" He asked.
"Getting up and going home because I'm fine" I said.
"Hotch I'm going to get somthing to eat" JJ said walking out
"Emily you aren't ok and I know it so don't pretend now. You need to rest we need to get this guy and then we go back to washington and we go from there" he said.
"Then go get him and stop hovering over me" I said.
"Em he could come after you again we don't know what he does if a victem escapes it hasn't happened before so I'm staying with you" He said.
"Hotch just give me my gun back I'll shoot him if he comes back you go find him and get him" I said.
"Emily I'm not giving you a gun and I'm not leaving you alone so you are just going to have to live with me so get used to it" he said.
"Hotch you have to help the teem catch him before anyone else gets hurt I can take care of myself" I said
"I think you've proved quite clearly that you can't take care of yourself and I'm not risking it again I care to much about you to let you get hurt again" he said.
"Damn it Hotch if someone else get's hurt I'm going to blame myself because you wer'nt there and I can't take that right now not after you let him go because of me I just can't so please go help them. Please Hotch" I half cried feeling whit hot tears in my eyes.
"Emily it's not your fault and you know it so let me take care of you and stop trying to be fearless and bullet proof, you can have moments of weekness it's ok to not be purfect. it's ok to feel pain" He said it with regret in his voice regret that i had never heard.
"Hotch if someone else get's killed it will be my fault, my fault you let him get away, my fault you aren't there all my fault" my voice cracked as the relazation that I was to blame washed over me. Hotch looked at me as if he knew how I felt, but how could he, he was the boss he didn't get hurt, he didn't bare that weight.
"Emily" he said pulling into a hug. "Emily stop, it isn't your fault and you don't kneed that weight on your shoulders so don't put it there ok" I let him hold me there for quite a while.
"Alright I'll try ok but go help them" I finaly said he didn't let go he stayed put.
"No the probability that he will come back is to high to leave you alone it's not going to happen so don't bother trying to argue" he said.
"Hotch I could stay alone if you give me my gun back" I said not willing to let him stay here at the risk of everyone in the city.
"No not going to happen you need to sleep and I know that that woun't happen if you're alone and I know it so don't try to tell me otherwise" He said.
"Hotch" I whined.
"No and if yo keep fighting me on this than I am going to have to call the nurse and have her sedate you" he threatened. I showed my defeat by letting my body go limp in his arms and letting him move me back to the hospital bed.
"Hotch." I whispered.
"Yah" he replied
"You have to slepp to so can I at least have my gun back?" I asked.
"No, but you can have my gun when I sleep" He said smiling.
"Hotch where is my gun?" I finaly asked. trying to remember the last time i had it. all I knew was that I hadn't had it in the hotel.
"Em it's your gun don't you know where it is?" He asked.
"Actualy I don't I know th at I didn't have it in the hotel but I can't remember the last time I did have it" I replied softly.
"Ok I'll get JJ to check your room" He sugested.
"No I can do it" I decided.
"You aren't leaving this hospital so no you can't" he corrected. I thought about that for a moment.
"Than I'll wait" I finaly asnwered. I'm not letting any of you go through my room"
"Why not? I thought you trusted JJ" He asked.
"I do it's just that I don't like having people I know going through my stuff let alone profilers I know"