Text support hell
This is a log from a particularly humorous little bout of tech support I had earlier today.
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Chat InformationPlease wait while we connect you to a Newegg representative.
Chat InformationAll Newegg representatives are currently assisting other customers. Thank you for your patience. An agent will be with you shortly.
Chat InformationThank you for contacting Newegg. My name is CoCo. How may I assist you today?
James: At the bottom of the hard rives page...
James: (drives)
James: There's a bit that refers to a hard drive buyer's guide?
James: But I can't find it.
James: Am I missing something really obvious?
CoCo: I do apologize I would not know what you are referring to. Did you need technical assistance ?
James: Umm, I mentioned that it is referred to at the bottom of the hard drives page.
James: Hard Drives When selecting a hard drive, there are two main things to consider: speed and capacity. Budget permitting, always go for the fastest drive you can. Speed is measured using the RPM figure - a faster rotational speed means greater performance, especially in games, but may cause greater heat and noise. The capacity, measured in GB (gigabytes), should depend on your own storage requirements. A higher capacity drive will invariably cost more than a lower capacity drive, so a balance must usually be struck between capacity and cost. In addition, the hard drive interface - IDE, SATA, or SCSI - determine a drive’s application: IDE and SATA for personal storage and SCSI for enterprise, mission critical storage. Please see our Internal Hard Drive Buying Guide for more information.
James: The last sentence of the above paragraph.
CoCo: Unfortunately we are unable provide any type of Technical, Compatibility, or Sales Support. Therefore I would not be able to make any recommendations. I apologize for any inconvenience, you can refer to the manufacture for assistance.
James: Hey, can I talk to a real person instead of a robot?
James: Because, my question has nothing to do with any of that.
CoCo: Yes, you can contact us at 800-390-1119 , that is our Customer Service phone number.
James: Are YOU a real person?
CoCo: Yes, I am.
James: Okay...well, I'm asking you a simple question about the webpage.
James: On THIS page, to be exaxt: http://www.newegg.com/ProductSort/Category.asp?Category=15&name=Hard-Drives
James: I'm looking at hard drives, and at the bottom of the page, this sentence: "Please see our Internal Hard Drive Buying Guide for more information." catches my eye.
James: So, I would like to 'see your internal hard drive buying guide'.
James: ...for more information.
CoCo: Let me take a look into that......one moment please.
CoCo: click here
James: Excellent.
James: I have one more question though...
James: How do I get there from the homepage?
CoCo: You can hit the back space , or type Newegg.com
James: *sigh*
James: Are you paying attention at all?
CoCo: Click the Newegg Logo as well.
James: How do I get there (the guide) from the homepage?
CoCo: Click the Newegg Logo the eggs.
James: Okay...and then what?
CoCo: That will take you back to the main page.
James: Is english your first language?
CoCo: Yes, it is.
CoCo: Do you have any other questions, or is there anything else I can assist you with today?
James: Yes, I want an answer to the question I asked you.
James: I am not trying to reach the homepage.
James: I am trying to reach the guide.
James: From the homepage.
CoCo: Click Home.
James: Yeah...that takes me to the homepage.
James: Do you understand where it is that I want to navigate to?
CoCo: click here
James: Can you tell me how to navigate...from the homepage...to the guides section?
James: Do you understand? Navigate?
CoCo: Have you clicked the link I have provided.
James: I have clicked the link. I clicked it this time, and I clicked it the first time.
James: It is a good link.
James: A perfect link.
James: It takes me exactly where I wanted to go.
James: I'm proud of you.
James: It's perfect, really.
James: But that's not what I want from you.
James: What I want...is for you to tell me how to navigate to that section, by clicking links on the homepage.
James: That's kind of the point of having a webpage, isn't it?
James: Seems a little stupid for me to call you up everytime I want to access that section, now doesn't it?
James: Can you answer my question, or what?
CoCo: Let me take a look into that......one moment please.
James: How much did your tuition cost to get into robot school?
CoCo: Go to the Mainpage Newegg.com then on the left tab Click Hard Drive, then Click Internal Hard Drives on the left tab, then Scroll to the bottom of the page.
CoCo: Do you have any other questions, or is there anything else I can assist you with today?
James: One moment...let me check.
James: Thank you. Is there any way that I could speak with your supervisor?
Virginia: Hello James...My name is Virginia and I am Coco's supervisor. How may I assist you today?
James: Can I email you a transcript of this conversation? You should read it, really.
Virginia: Sir, I have all the conversation saved under our chat system. Was there an issue with your customer service today?
James: Well, yes. Would you like to take a quick read?
Virginia: Just a moment please.
Virginia: Thank you for your patience...
James: Barely. ;)
James: Just thought that you should know what you were working with.
Virginia: I have reviewed your conversation and I do apologize. I will speak with her and review this chat and explain to please review the questions thoroughly.
James: And, umm...off the record...
James: You giggled a little bit, didn't ya?
James: ;)
Virginia: What do you mean Sir?
James: Okay, nevermind.
James: Thanks.
Virginia: Do you have any other questions, or is there anything else I can assist you with today?
James: That will be all.
James: My thanks to your robot masters for the superbly mechanized response phrasings.
Virginia: Thank You and have a nice and great afternoon.
Chat InformationThanks again for contacting Newegg. Once you know, you Newegg.
=================================================================
A couple of my thoughts on the encounter (before anyone else gets to them):
1) Honestly, I tried to give this chick a chance. I didn't just immediately go off. She was frustrating, but I tried to make the communication work. Once I found out that she was a native english speaker though, I let her have it.
2) I rode the supervisor a little bit, but for the record, I find her performance to have been flawless. She was wise not to answer my giggling question (or too stupid to get it...but I'm leaning toward wise). Furthermore, all of her answers that followed were in keeping with the robot theme, and quite possibly a brilliantly calculated closing touch.
Her response about Coco actually addressed the underlying problem (not paying attention to my questions), and I didn't even have to tell her what the problem was, so she wins in my book.
Oh, and all your comments are blocked for this one, Bernard. So don't bother. Asshole.
Everybody else, have a field day.
=================================================================
Chat InformationPlease wait while we connect you to a Newegg representative.
Chat InformationAll Newegg representatives are currently assisting other customers. Thank you for your patience. An agent will be with you shortly.
Chat InformationThank you for contacting Newegg. My name is CoCo. How may I assist you today?
James: At the bottom of the hard rives page...
James: (drives)
James: There's a bit that refers to a hard drive buyer's guide?
James: But I can't find it.
James: Am I missing something really obvious?
CoCo: I do apologize I would not know what you are referring to. Did you need technical assistance ?
James: Umm, I mentioned that it is referred to at the bottom of the hard drives page.
James: Hard Drives When selecting a hard drive, there are two main things to consider: speed and capacity. Budget permitting, always go for the fastest drive you can. Speed is measured using the RPM figure - a faster rotational speed means greater performance, especially in games, but may cause greater heat and noise. The capacity, measured in GB (gigabytes), should depend on your own storage requirements. A higher capacity drive will invariably cost more than a lower capacity drive, so a balance must usually be struck between capacity and cost. In addition, the hard drive interface - IDE, SATA, or SCSI - determine a drive’s application: IDE and SATA for personal storage and SCSI for enterprise, mission critical storage. Please see our Internal Hard Drive Buying Guide for more information.
James: The last sentence of the above paragraph.
CoCo: Unfortunately we are unable provide any type of Technical, Compatibility, or Sales Support. Therefore I would not be able to make any recommendations. I apologize for any inconvenience, you can refer to the manufacture for assistance.
James: Hey, can I talk to a real person instead of a robot?
James: Because, my question has nothing to do with any of that.
CoCo: Yes, you can contact us at 800-390-1119 , that is our Customer Service phone number.
James: Are YOU a real person?
CoCo: Yes, I am.
James: Okay...well, I'm asking you a simple question about the webpage.
James: On THIS page, to be exaxt: http://www.newegg.com/ProductSort/Category.asp?Category=15&name=Hard-Drives
James: I'm looking at hard drives, and at the bottom of the page, this sentence: "Please see our Internal Hard Drive Buying Guide for more information." catches my eye.
James: So, I would like to 'see your internal hard drive buying guide'.
James: ...for more information.
CoCo: Let me take a look into that......one moment please.
CoCo: click here
James: Excellent.
James: I have one more question though...
James: How do I get there from the homepage?
CoCo: You can hit the back space , or type Newegg.com
James: *sigh*
James: Are you paying attention at all?
CoCo: Click the Newegg Logo as well.
James: How do I get there (the guide) from the homepage?
CoCo: Click the Newegg Logo the eggs.
James: Okay...and then what?
CoCo: That will take you back to the main page.
James: Is english your first language?
CoCo: Yes, it is.
CoCo: Do you have any other questions, or is there anything else I can assist you with today?
James: Yes, I want an answer to the question I asked you.
James: I am not trying to reach the homepage.
James: I am trying to reach the guide.
James: From the homepage.
CoCo: Click Home.
James: Yeah...that takes me to the homepage.
James: Do you understand where it is that I want to navigate to?
CoCo: click here
James: Can you tell me how to navigate...from the homepage...to the guides section?
James: Do you understand? Navigate?
CoCo: Have you clicked the link I have provided.
James: I have clicked the link. I clicked it this time, and I clicked it the first time.
James: It is a good link.
James: A perfect link.
James: It takes me exactly where I wanted to go.
James: I'm proud of you.
James: It's perfect, really.
James: But that's not what I want from you.
James: What I want...is for you to tell me how to navigate to that section, by clicking links on the homepage.
James: That's kind of the point of having a webpage, isn't it?
James: Seems a little stupid for me to call you up everytime I want to access that section, now doesn't it?
James: Can you answer my question, or what?
CoCo: Let me take a look into that......one moment please.
James: How much did your tuition cost to get into robot school?
CoCo: Go to the Mainpage Newegg.com then on the left tab Click Hard Drive, then Click Internal Hard Drives on the left tab, then Scroll to the bottom of the page.
CoCo: Do you have any other questions, or is there anything else I can assist you with today?
James: One moment...let me check.
James: Thank you. Is there any way that I could speak with your supervisor?
Virginia: Hello James...My name is Virginia and I am Coco's supervisor. How may I assist you today?
James: Can I email you a transcript of this conversation? You should read it, really.
Virginia: Sir, I have all the conversation saved under our chat system. Was there an issue with your customer service today?
James: Well, yes. Would you like to take a quick read?
Virginia: Just a moment please.
Virginia: Thank you for your patience...
James: Barely. ;)
James: Just thought that you should know what you were working with.
Virginia: I have reviewed your conversation and I do apologize. I will speak with her and review this chat and explain to please review the questions thoroughly.
James: And, umm...off the record...
James: You giggled a little bit, didn't ya?
James: ;)
Virginia: What do you mean Sir?
James: Okay, nevermind.
James: Thanks.
Virginia: Do you have any other questions, or is there anything else I can assist you with today?
James: That will be all.
James: My thanks to your robot masters for the superbly mechanized response phrasings.
Virginia: Thank You and have a nice and great afternoon.
Chat InformationThanks again for contacting Newegg. Once you know, you Newegg.
=================================================================
A couple of my thoughts on the encounter (before anyone else gets to them):
1) Honestly, I tried to give this chick a chance. I didn't just immediately go off. She was frustrating, but I tried to make the communication work. Once I found out that she was a native english speaker though, I let her have it.
2) I rode the supervisor a little bit, but for the record, I find her performance to have been flawless. She was wise not to answer my giggling question (or too stupid to get it...but I'm leaning toward wise). Furthermore, all of her answers that followed were in keeping with the robot theme, and quite possibly a brilliantly calculated closing touch.
Her response about Coco actually addressed the underlying problem (not paying attention to my questions), and I didn't even have to tell her what the problem was, so she wins in my book.
Oh, and all your comments are blocked for this one, Bernard. So don't bother. Asshole.
Everybody else, have a field day.