The Grass Is No Greener Over Here
I'll tell you what, though.. the grass is weirder here. I've never seen ice plants before until going out to Bodega Bay and all the grass is really thick and sharp-like. I'd show pictures but I don't know how. If you know me, chances are I can show you on the yahoo.
But anyway, 6 months into my Bay Area move, and I'm basically a file clerk with intrinsically honed parallell parking skills, Elena has recently been downgraded from "girlfriend" to "lesbian roommate" (the gays out here are recruiting almost as fast as the Scientologists!), and I'm actually missing Atlanta. Reading my last post (which is fun when you only write like once a decade), I can wistfully compare that litany of gripes with my current, more crochety bag of complaints. Yes, it's very integrated here in O-town. I like that. I like that my firm employs about 40% Asians who have cracker names like "Helen Greenwood", and that I can find a restaurant of any cuisine within a mile of my apartment. I don't like that it would cost more to actually get there than it would be to eat there. So, the expensive commute sucks.
Speaking of commuting, the other day, I was on a crowded BART train, and at one stop, this guy wanted to leave, but there were several people blocking his exit. So he shouts out "EXCUSE ME, I NEED TO LEAVE!!" Obviously, he's not from here. You know how I know? Because I do that too. On the East Coast (Atlanta is more East Coast than South. Oh yes it is, don't even try to fight me on that one), One enjoys Their Seat on the train for as long as they can and pushes their way through the crowd at the last minute, and rushes out. On the NYC subway, of course nobody will be offended by this, as there will always be 452 other commuters on the train doing exactly the same thing. They may not have all been sitting, but they were probably enjoying a good lean against your face until you decided to shift your balance, you jerk. Out here, people tend to think ahead and get ready for their exit after the train leaves the previous stop. So naturally, this guy got a response from some lady who yelled back "You don't have to be rude about it!", which prompted the guy to respond with "I'M NOT BEING RUDE, I JUST WANT TO GET OUT, WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE, YOU FUCKING CUNT BITCH!", which is not something generally overheard around here. (The guy was saying this as he was walking away so he obviously didn't really want a confrontation, he just forgot where he was.) Sigh. I miss the east coast. And also, what's up with all the lines at the train? Everybody lines up in an orderly fashion by the doors, and they go in one by one when the train comes. There's no mad rush to get in and take up breathing space! God, this place is gay. Last week, I tried an experiment where I sat on the bench until the train came and just cut in line, and I got some nasty comments. It was great!
What else sucks about here? All the freaking recycling. I miss living in a backwards city where you have to pay extra to have anything recycled, and you just throw everything away in one freaking can. Out here, you're a pariah if you throw an aluminum can away in trash can. In fact, they don't even refer to plastics, metals, or paper refuse as "trash" out here. Everybody knows that the county throws all of your crap away in the same truck and puts in a landfill, while big companies are pretty much excluded from even pretending to spare the environment, so why am I pressured to do it? Of course I care about Our Fragile Earth, but no matter how much I seperate my banana peels from my yogurt cans, it's not going to make an ant's tiny methane fart worth of difference.
I really could go on and on, but that's just my bitter observation for right now, and since I've already made a concsious decision to move back to the drought-infested place of my birth, I can sort of gripe on without depressing myself.
But anyway, 6 months into my Bay Area move, and I'm basically a file clerk with intrinsically honed parallell parking skills, Elena has recently been downgraded from "girlfriend" to "lesbian roommate" (the gays out here are recruiting almost as fast as the Scientologists!), and I'm actually missing Atlanta. Reading my last post (which is fun when you only write like once a decade), I can wistfully compare that litany of gripes with my current, more crochety bag of complaints. Yes, it's very integrated here in O-town. I like that. I like that my firm employs about 40% Asians who have cracker names like "Helen Greenwood", and that I can find a restaurant of any cuisine within a mile of my apartment. I don't like that it would cost more to actually get there than it would be to eat there. So, the expensive commute sucks.
Speaking of commuting, the other day, I was on a crowded BART train, and at one stop, this guy wanted to leave, but there were several people blocking his exit. So he shouts out "EXCUSE ME, I NEED TO LEAVE!!" Obviously, he's not from here. You know how I know? Because I do that too. On the East Coast (Atlanta is more East Coast than South. Oh yes it is, don't even try to fight me on that one), One enjoys Their Seat on the train for as long as they can and pushes their way through the crowd at the last minute, and rushes out. On the NYC subway, of course nobody will be offended by this, as there will always be 452 other commuters on the train doing exactly the same thing. They may not have all been sitting, but they were probably enjoying a good lean against your face until you decided to shift your balance, you jerk. Out here, people tend to think ahead and get ready for their exit after the train leaves the previous stop. So naturally, this guy got a response from some lady who yelled back "You don't have to be rude about it!", which prompted the guy to respond with "I'M NOT BEING RUDE, I JUST WANT TO GET OUT, WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE, YOU FUCKING CUNT BITCH!", which is not something generally overheard around here. (The guy was saying this as he was walking away so he obviously didn't really want a confrontation, he just forgot where he was.) Sigh. I miss the east coast. And also, what's up with all the lines at the train? Everybody lines up in an orderly fashion by the doors, and they go in one by one when the train comes. There's no mad rush to get in and take up breathing space! God, this place is gay. Last week, I tried an experiment where I sat on the bench until the train came and just cut in line, and I got some nasty comments. It was great!
What else sucks about here? All the freaking recycling. I miss living in a backwards city where you have to pay extra to have anything recycled, and you just throw everything away in one freaking can. Out here, you're a pariah if you throw an aluminum can away in trash can. In fact, they don't even refer to plastics, metals, or paper refuse as "trash" out here. Everybody knows that the county throws all of your crap away in the same truck and puts in a landfill, while big companies are pretty much excluded from even pretending to spare the environment, so why am I pressured to do it? Of course I care about Our Fragile Earth, but no matter how much I seperate my banana peels from my yogurt cans, it's not going to make an ant's tiny methane fart worth of difference.
I really could go on and on, but that's just my bitter observation for right now, and since I've already made a concsious decision to move back to the drought-infested place of my birth, I can sort of gripe on without depressing myself.