the book of GM
And so it was written, and then, it has been done…
And Alexander hath ventured into the ancient field of a suburban hellscape, heretofore known as Gwinetia, to the land of Saturn, and Alexander did try to barter his chariot for a new one.
And when Alexander arrived, there shined a shiny demon. “Behold, a minion of Lucifer, a Saturn saleswoman named Brenda Schofield!”, cried Alexander. And she doth attempted to sway Alexander with many lies and temptations. “Compared to your driver’s license photo, you seem to have lost some weight”, said the slimy trollop, but Alexander did not respond. “You will come to love the New Ion, with it’s purring engines, it’s sleek design”, cried the Painted Whore of Babylon, and still, Alexander said not a word. “Let me test drive this chariot, you filthy cur!”, he said, and the fiendish harpy agreed to his request. And Alexander drove the car around the block, and it was good.
But then, the rapturous torture began. The wicked beast-woman doth forced Alexander to wait at a cubicle, while his chariot could be inspected. During the inspection, pus oozed out of the salesbeast’s eyeballs, while she spoke: “You will increase your monthly payments by one-hundred drachmas!” And Alexander ducked under the table to avoid her odious words.
Whilst Alexander could not trade for a new chariot, another minion of Satan appeared in a puff of smoke. And the mechanic’s face began to melt, and his head did spin around. Maggots poured out of his mouth, and blood gushed out of his fingernails. His voice echoed a thousand and one lost souls as he spoke the following prophesey: “You have a leak in your engine’s manifold!”, he spoke. “Your engine shall be destroyed, and will burn in the fiery pits of the netherworld! You shall not drive, and you will be doomed to Public Transportation Purgatory!”, he laughed a demonic, torturous laugh.
And Alexander wept.
And then the foul temptress returned, only to further insult Alexander. “Here is your free webcam for visiting Saturn of Gwinnet!” she bellowed, and then she sprouted a set of hairy, greasy wings and flew off into the black, tar-pit sky.
And Alexander doth returned home in his own chariot, with his soul intact
And Alexander hath ventured into the ancient field of a suburban hellscape, heretofore known as Gwinetia, to the land of Saturn, and Alexander did try to barter his chariot for a new one.
And when Alexander arrived, there shined a shiny demon. “Behold, a minion of Lucifer, a Saturn saleswoman named Brenda Schofield!”, cried Alexander. And she doth attempted to sway Alexander with many lies and temptations. “Compared to your driver’s license photo, you seem to have lost some weight”, said the slimy trollop, but Alexander did not respond. “You will come to love the New Ion, with it’s purring engines, it’s sleek design”, cried the Painted Whore of Babylon, and still, Alexander said not a word. “Let me test drive this chariot, you filthy cur!”, he said, and the fiendish harpy agreed to his request. And Alexander drove the car around the block, and it was good.
But then, the rapturous torture began. The wicked beast-woman doth forced Alexander to wait at a cubicle, while his chariot could be inspected. During the inspection, pus oozed out of the salesbeast’s eyeballs, while she spoke: “You will increase your monthly payments by one-hundred drachmas!” And Alexander ducked under the table to avoid her odious words.
Whilst Alexander could not trade for a new chariot, another minion of Satan appeared in a puff of smoke. And the mechanic’s face began to melt, and his head did spin around. Maggots poured out of his mouth, and blood gushed out of his fingernails. His voice echoed a thousand and one lost souls as he spoke the following prophesey: “You have a leak in your engine’s manifold!”, he spoke. “Your engine shall be destroyed, and will burn in the fiery pits of the netherworld! You shall not drive, and you will be doomed to Public Transportation Purgatory!”, he laughed a demonic, torturous laugh.
And Alexander wept.
And then the foul temptress returned, only to further insult Alexander. “Here is your free webcam for visiting Saturn of Gwinnet!” she bellowed, and then she sprouted a set of hairy, greasy wings and flew off into the black, tar-pit sky.
And Alexander doth returned home in his own chariot, with his soul intact