i fell into you and now your gracfully falling away
ive missed this thing. i hate not having it at home and now i only get to see it 3 times a week.
Everythings been so crazy. i feel like everythings just happening wihtout my control. like i only know that ive done somthing after it happens. its not hitting me till its over. like last night. as much as i wanted to i never should ahve done it. ive told three people. first Lani because im the kind of person who will blow up if i dont tell somone, second.. Calie, i tell her everything and i half regreted it afterwards... im not trying to be a slut. then i relized i would not be able to talk to lindsay ever again wihtout feeling super bad so i ahd to tell her, but shes okay with it so yay.
ive been trying to be kind of artistic latley. i guess alot of things going on right now and thats the only way i know how to get it out. ive been trying to write, even tho its all crappy, i drew snath mcgrubber and tryed drawing other things. and ive been taking alot of pictures. but my mum took the camera so i feel unwhole.
April refuses to take her pills and rufus isnt improving. i kind of want them all to go away. its too expensive and too stresful.
my dad dosnt want to take us to the show becaus eof allt he "punkrocker college anarchists" that are gonna be there. just say ur to lazy to drive and you dont trust dont sugar coat it. i started crying in the car not because of the show but just this is would be sch a big breack for me he has no idea.
i talked to jake last night. no clue who i am. you kno i loved him for however long and i mean nothing, not even a memory. he said he was going to the movies and wanted me to come but i couldnt. what ever. just somthing else. once this play is crashes and burns and fimally gets done for, im gonna have such a load off. i still dont know all my cue lines and i hardly kno any of my blocking. and i ave to learn lines for spanish. i am once again hating drama. and the lead.
this weekend im gonna be home as less as possible. and im still praying my dad is gonna let me go to the show. *tear* no, seriously, im praying
Everythings been so crazy. i feel like everythings just happening wihtout my control. like i only know that ive done somthing after it happens. its not hitting me till its over. like last night. as much as i wanted to i never should ahve done it. ive told three people. first Lani because im the kind of person who will blow up if i dont tell somone, second.. Calie, i tell her everything and i half regreted it afterwards... im not trying to be a slut. then i relized i would not be able to talk to lindsay ever again wihtout feeling super bad so i ahd to tell her, but shes okay with it so yay.
ive been trying to be kind of artistic latley. i guess alot of things going on right now and thats the only way i know how to get it out. ive been trying to write, even tho its all crappy, i drew snath mcgrubber and tryed drawing other things. and ive been taking alot of pictures. but my mum took the camera so i feel unwhole.
April refuses to take her pills and rufus isnt improving. i kind of want them all to go away. its too expensive and too stresful.
my dad dosnt want to take us to the show becaus eof allt he "punkrocker college anarchists" that are gonna be there. just say ur to lazy to drive and you dont trust dont sugar coat it. i started crying in the car not because of the show but just this is would be sch a big breack for me he has no idea.
i talked to jake last night. no clue who i am. you kno i loved him for however long and i mean nothing, not even a memory. he said he was going to the movies and wanted me to come but i couldnt. what ever. just somthing else. once this play is crashes and burns and fimally gets done for, im gonna have such a load off. i still dont know all my cue lines and i hardly kno any of my blocking. and i ave to learn lines for spanish. i am once again hating drama. and the lead.
this weekend im gonna be home as less as possible. and im still praying my dad is gonna let me go to the show. *tear* no, seriously, im praying