(no subject)
Ok, so it's been a while since I've posted. Finally thought it an appropriate time to chime in on life in general. I though it was a good time becuase there are other major thoughts going through my head, and they don't have to deal with my head. This one the most up front. You know when you see the cartoons or Discovery stuff of the Mama Bird pushing the bird out to fly for the first time? I think I know how that feels. My little girl, the one I've know since was 4 years old, who stole my heart as much as her Mom did, is growing up. That 4 year old is now 17. For all of the grief and joking I give her, she is a great gir...young lady. Never once have I ever really wondered what she was out doing while not in the security camera of her parents. We've had our moments, little power struggles, but those are just what you expect from someone testing out their own independence. She's had a long month, this one has. She was "let go" from her job, got embarrased by something that all 17 year olds are curious about, if not already fully involved in, and has some tough decisions to make about new friends that she has met. She has, so far, met all of these with a grace and strength that you hope that you instill in your kids, but always worry about until the "test" starts.
After a questionable "release" from work, I helped her follow up and get down to what may have been the true reasons for all of this happening, getting the blessings of not only her manager but the area director, and turned in her uniform with style and strength. I offered to do it for her, but she wanted to do it herself. She came out with the numbers of all of her friends, the shock of a majority of the crew that a few idiots destroyed what had been to that point a great first job. Two days later, she was ready to find another job. She's got bills, you know, and knows that they won't go away, and Mom and Dad won't always be there to catch her when she misses the trapeze bar.
Being a Dad, especially one who still sees this young woman as a little girl from so long ago sometimes, it is hard to imagine sometimes, that she is now starting to think like an adult...and thinks about adult things. No need to go into details, but I busted her doing something that SHE SHOULD NOT BE DOING. The big yelling match...the "I'm going to take a walk!" and 20 minutes later, I had a revelation. She had done nothing wrong. I had to think back to what it was like to be 17 years old...and what do most 17 year olds think about...sex, eroticism, you know...adult things. I had to apologize to her that it WAS natural for her to be checking out what she was...(just maybe not during the day when everyone else was up and about). My only stipulation to her in my retraction of "Dadness" was that she needed to talk to her Mom about what happened. She was mad, but I think more than mad just mortified that her Dad dialed into the computer and read what she was reading. Later that night...when Mom was home, I start doing a mental clock of how long it's going to be before I just have to clue her in on how our day went. I walk into the bedroom, and there's C, talking to Mom about what happened. We had a good talk, the three of us, that what she did was not big deal...just not during the day..."dont ask, dont tell". All being in agreement, I think she understood that she wouldn't be pulverized for what she did, and appreciated that fact more than anyone could have imagined.
Then yesterday I took the circus to the Mall..all four kids....everyone had their own adgenda. Then as I'm finishing a stop at the "Build a Bear" place, C doesn't want to stay in (neither do I) but will wait outside the store. I finally finish up, and she's getting a demonstration from a very young, very tall, nice looking guy on some bath salts or something. I don't know exactly when it went from a demo to them talking socially, but there finally came a point as I'm trying to keep these semi-behaved animals at bay that I finally, instead of telling her "Let's go!"... I just told her that we'd be over by the skating rink. Dont' know where this is going to go, if anywhere, but figured I owned it to her to remove the "circus" element from her conversation. (by the way
vulpine137, they have Davey Jones "tentacle beards" at the Disney Store...haven't chatted with you much, but I thought of you!) She has a whole other world of decisions to make now...the guy...seemingly....is a church going type, we are not. She's been invited, and we won't stop her from making that decision...it's her's to make.
There are, I'm sure a whole bucketfull of other observations I could make about this, but these are the ones that stick out, seem to be different from the usual..."one day you will understand..." type of conversations we usually have. I'm sure we have serveral more "milestones" to meet together, but this has been a very enlightening week. A week that has shown me that my little girl..."Momma, he's here!" isn't so little anymore....Lord help me.
After a questionable "release" from work, I helped her follow up and get down to what may have been the true reasons for all of this happening, getting the blessings of not only her manager but the area director, and turned in her uniform with style and strength. I offered to do it for her, but she wanted to do it herself. She came out with the numbers of all of her friends, the shock of a majority of the crew that a few idiots destroyed what had been to that point a great first job. Two days later, she was ready to find another job. She's got bills, you know, and knows that they won't go away, and Mom and Dad won't always be there to catch her when she misses the trapeze bar.
Being a Dad, especially one who still sees this young woman as a little girl from so long ago sometimes, it is hard to imagine sometimes, that she is now starting to think like an adult...and thinks about adult things. No need to go into details, but I busted her doing something that SHE SHOULD NOT BE DOING. The big yelling match...the "I'm going to take a walk!" and 20 minutes later, I had a revelation. She had done nothing wrong. I had to think back to what it was like to be 17 years old...and what do most 17 year olds think about...sex, eroticism, you know...adult things. I had to apologize to her that it WAS natural for her to be checking out what she was...(just maybe not during the day when everyone else was up and about). My only stipulation to her in my retraction of "Dadness" was that she needed to talk to her Mom about what happened. She was mad, but I think more than mad just mortified that her Dad dialed into the computer and read what she was reading. Later that night...when Mom was home, I start doing a mental clock of how long it's going to be before I just have to clue her in on how our day went. I walk into the bedroom, and there's C, talking to Mom about what happened. We had a good talk, the three of us, that what she did was not big deal...just not during the day..."dont ask, dont tell". All being in agreement, I think she understood that she wouldn't be pulverized for what she did, and appreciated that fact more than anyone could have imagined.
Then yesterday I took the circus to the Mall..all four kids....everyone had their own adgenda. Then as I'm finishing a stop at the "Build a Bear" place, C doesn't want to stay in (neither do I) but will wait outside the store. I finally finish up, and she's getting a demonstration from a very young, very tall, nice looking guy on some bath salts or something. I don't know exactly when it went from a demo to them talking socially, but there finally came a point as I'm trying to keep these semi-behaved animals at bay that I finally, instead of telling her "Let's go!"... I just told her that we'd be over by the skating rink. Dont' know where this is going to go, if anywhere, but figured I owned it to her to remove the "circus" element from her conversation. (by the way
vulpine137, they have Davey Jones "tentacle beards" at the Disney Store...haven't chatted with you much, but I thought of you!) She has a whole other world of decisions to make now...the guy...seemingly....is a church going type, we are not. She's been invited, and we won't stop her from making that decision...it's her's to make.
There are, I'm sure a whole bucketfull of other observations I could make about this, but these are the ones that stick out, seem to be different from the usual..."one day you will understand..." type of conversations we usually have. I'm sure we have serveral more "milestones" to meet together, but this has been a very enlightening week. A week that has shown me that my little girl..."Momma, he's here!" isn't so little anymore....Lord help me.