Opening up a six pack o' worms...oh, and Marklar!
I haven't written in a while for a few reasons...
Some time demands at home have kept us all on wierd schedules. Work has acutally been...well, work recently. Business has picked up so the time between the "click" of the phone being disconnected and the "Beep" that another call is holding has become much shorter.
Progress continues on all of the things I've talked about the last month or so. The sessions I've had have made me see things in myself that I have never seen before, good, bad, and ugly. But then again, progress always winds up tearing down a few houses in the way.
Although not originally part of the original "can of worms", my Dad is now sort of involved in the process. After feeling some need to connect to a Dad, that has always been more of a bud than a person to look up to, or at worst, someone that I can rely on a 5 minute phone call every six months to make sure everything's ok on both sides of the Pacific Ocean...he fled to Hawaii a few years ago...but that's another story and I'm sure another 5 sessions of therapy if I really got into it. What began as a simple email to make sure he knew we were ok has turned into a collection of emails that probably contains more raw emotional content than can be transcribed between us over the course of the last 20 years. I admitted to him what was going on at home, that I decided that rather to lose it all in one quick chop, I decided to give some therapy a try. I got a very personal outpouring from him about his life and mistakes and his frustration on his part that we've never been close. Let's just say like father...like son. At least I decided to do someting about it before I lose 2 wives. I'm hoping, albeit a little reluctantly, that this is the start of something a little better in the "Dad" department than I've ever really had.
The second can opened was tonight, when Key decided to confide in my Mom all that's been going on for the last month, two months, year, Hell, you get the idea. I had decided a while ago that I would eventually have to have "The Talk" with my Mom about everything that's gone on in my life since the time my parents got divorced, probably, since we've never really been open enough, even in the best of times, to have a really good heart to heart. That time table has been kicked up a notch or two, and nothing in particular has to this point held back, so I'm sure we're going to have just a groovy time getting to know each other on a more personal level. I'm sure it'll be healthy to have both of these conversations going on between both of my parents. One from the "irresponsible Dad" who I'm trying my best not to repeat everything he's done in life, the other from "Overprotective Mom" who tried to keep me away from all the bad things that life has to hold, even though just like chicken pox, is a little crappy when you get them, but you're protected for life.
Taken from a conversation had with a certain eight year old today, I'm learning from my mistakes for the first time in my life. When I look inward, I still see a lot of turmoil, but at least I can put it into perspective and say "J, fix it yourself...everyting else is just small stuff" well, small stuff and the very health and existence of my family. It's late, and I have to help out with one of those "extreme time changes" I explained earlier.....
Peace
Some time demands at home have kept us all on wierd schedules. Work has acutally been...well, work recently. Business has picked up so the time between the "click" of the phone being disconnected and the "Beep" that another call is holding has become much shorter.
Progress continues on all of the things I've talked about the last month or so. The sessions I've had have made me see things in myself that I have never seen before, good, bad, and ugly. But then again, progress always winds up tearing down a few houses in the way.
Although not originally part of the original "can of worms", my Dad is now sort of involved in the process. After feeling some need to connect to a Dad, that has always been more of a bud than a person to look up to, or at worst, someone that I can rely on a 5 minute phone call every six months to make sure everything's ok on both sides of the Pacific Ocean...he fled to Hawaii a few years ago...but that's another story and I'm sure another 5 sessions of therapy if I really got into it. What began as a simple email to make sure he knew we were ok has turned into a collection of emails that probably contains more raw emotional content than can be transcribed between us over the course of the last 20 years. I admitted to him what was going on at home, that I decided that rather to lose it all in one quick chop, I decided to give some therapy a try. I got a very personal outpouring from him about his life and mistakes and his frustration on his part that we've never been close. Let's just say like father...like son. At least I decided to do someting about it before I lose 2 wives. I'm hoping, albeit a little reluctantly, that this is the start of something a little better in the "Dad" department than I've ever really had.
The second can opened was tonight, when Key decided to confide in my Mom all that's been going on for the last month, two months, year, Hell, you get the idea. I had decided a while ago that I would eventually have to have "The Talk" with my Mom about everything that's gone on in my life since the time my parents got divorced, probably, since we've never really been open enough, even in the best of times, to have a really good heart to heart. That time table has been kicked up a notch or two, and nothing in particular has to this point held back, so I'm sure we're going to have just a groovy time getting to know each other on a more personal level. I'm sure it'll be healthy to have both of these conversations going on between both of my parents. One from the "irresponsible Dad" who I'm trying my best not to repeat everything he's done in life, the other from "Overprotective Mom" who tried to keep me away from all the bad things that life has to hold, even though just like chicken pox, is a little crappy when you get them, but you're protected for life.
Taken from a conversation had with a certain eight year old today, I'm learning from my mistakes for the first time in my life. When I look inward, I still see a lot of turmoil, but at least I can put it into perspective and say "J, fix it yourself...everyting else is just small stuff" well, small stuff and the very health and existence of my family. It's late, and I have to help out with one of those "extreme time changes" I explained earlier.....
Peace