(no subject)
have had a habit of migrating from group to group in friends all my life... used to be cuz of changing school... and then it was more like, just finding where i fit in... usually it's a gradual shift tho... not abrupt ends or w/e because of stupid stuff and then stuff no one knows why... usually switch when i'm comfy with change... not when going to college is scaring the crap outta me and all i really need is something, or someone to hang on to... this is something i thought i lost entirely and had to do rapid friend finding... and then found someone who'd been there the whole time... and patiently waited and even through the bs that i put him through before, was still there and here even now... making it more ok/less scary with me going off to college.... i dunno... everyone needs someone at some point or another... i just tend not to admit it... very few people can tolerate me and understand me and see me without first seeing past mistakes or faults that i have... and for that i am lucky.
i don't know if old fires can be rekindled once they've been reduced to dying embers... but can always try if not for the long run, at least just one last ride to remember for a lifetime.
if i ever told you i loved you, i meant it.
(and this is for entirety of life, not just recently or w/e... love is not something i say without first knowing that i would never take it back)
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on a less "deep" note... my dad saw isa come home before 7, which means i was not with her at the movies, which means that when i said she left the group around 7 i was lying which means i am in a minor shithole... this is kinda bad... cuz that means i was with only guy(s) at movies and food and ended up riding the bus home by myself... for once i may actually be caught for this, which i haven't done for ages cuz i haven't hung out with need to lie in ages... tho i don't think i care, cuz i've been wanting my dad to know that i'm going out with steve for the longest time... just hasn't been the easiest thing to tell... with previous stuff and parents being a little close-minded in "associations"... agh how do i tackle this??? *sigh* i don't know... why not be like older ppls ish where they don't introduce their significant other til they're like gonna get married... dating/going out should be all w/e ish... gaaaah... i'm in fricken college god damn it.
yeah that wasn't entirely less deep after a while. w/e, going to watch movie now, bye.
omg, he even asked what color shirt she was wearing!! grrr!!!! stupid parents... he didn't even actually say when i was sposed to be home... he just said that if i was home in time we could watch butterfly effect, if not he was gonna start without me... jesus christ.... *hides*
i don't know if old fires can be rekindled once they've been reduced to dying embers... but can always try if not for the long run, at least just one last ride to remember for a lifetime.
if i ever told you i loved you, i meant it.
(and this is for entirety of life, not just recently or w/e... love is not something i say without first knowing that i would never take it back)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
on a less "deep" note... my dad saw isa come home before 7, which means i was not with her at the movies, which means that when i said she left the group around 7 i was lying which means i am in a minor shithole... this is kinda bad... cuz that means i was with only guy(s) at movies and food and ended up riding the bus home by myself... for once i may actually be caught for this, which i haven't done for ages cuz i haven't hung out with need to lie in ages... tho i don't think i care, cuz i've been wanting my dad to know that i'm going out with steve for the longest time... just hasn't been the easiest thing to tell... with previous stuff and parents being a little close-minded in "associations"... agh how do i tackle this??? *sigh* i don't know... why not be like older ppls ish where they don't introduce their significant other til they're like gonna get married... dating/going out should be all w/e ish... gaaaah... i'm in fricken college god damn it.
yeah that wasn't entirely less deep after a while. w/e, going to watch movie now, bye.
omg, he even asked what color shirt she was wearing!! grrr!!!! stupid parents... he didn't even actually say when i was sposed to be home... he just said that if i was home in time we could watch butterfly effect, if not he was gonna start without me... jesus christ.... *hides*