in a way it's like a mercy killing for a wounded animal: however thoughtfull, still brutal.
and so now it starts all over again but i am a little older, and perhaps even a little bit wiser. yeah, nick has tracked me down yet again through the lovly usedge of myspace.com with a message of "just wanted to say hi" ... which in past has boiled down to "im running out of girls to fuck, lets go at it" yet i recieve a long winded apology for what he has done. was it heart felt and honest? maybe but after all the shit he's put me though one can never be sure. even if it was sinsear does it matter? it's to little to late. if he realy cared about me and wanted me to know how sory he was for what he has done ... he should have known that staying away from me would be the only way to do that. it seems that whenever im finally content with the past, he has to start things all over again. i neither know nor care if he ment it, he fucked up - big deal. sounds to me like the apology was less for me and more for his well being. maybe in the past i would have liked to be his friend, but in all honesty all i want to do is be with him which is something he can't and won't handle. then again, he's never let me in and i dont supose he ever will. seems to be the only thing is to just go our seporate ways. he wants to be friends ... and i want to be more -- something that just can't mix
it seems as though i've finally found our song ... in essence this is all he ever had to say ...
Looking back at me I see
That I never really got it right
I never stopped to think of you
I'm always wrapped up in
Things I cannnot win
You are the antidote that gets me by
Something strong
Like a drug that gets me high
What I really meant to say
Is I'm sorry for the way I am
I never meant to be so cold to you
And I'm sorry about all the lies
Maybe in a different light
You could see me stand on my own again
Cause now i can see
You were the antidote that got me by
Something strong like a drug that got me high
I never meant to be so cold
I never really wanted you to see
The screwed up side of me that I keep
Locked inside of me so deep
It always seems to get to me
I never really wanted you to go
So many things you should have known
I guess for me theres just no hope
I never meant to be so cold
YOU FUCKED UP ... I HATE YOU AND YET I ALLOW MYSELF TO LET YOU IN AGAIN AND AGAIN! ALL I EVER WANTED WAS TO BE WITH YOU. IT SEEMS ALL YOU EVER WANTED TO DO WAS FUCK WITH MY LIFE! WELL CONGRADULATION ASS HOLE -- MISSION ACOMPLISHED
it seems as though i've finally found our song ... in essence this is all he ever had to say ...
Looking back at me I see
That I never really got it right
I never stopped to think of you
I'm always wrapped up in
Things I cannnot win
You are the antidote that gets me by
Something strong
Like a drug that gets me high
What I really meant to say
Is I'm sorry for the way I am
I never meant to be so cold to you
And I'm sorry about all the lies
Maybe in a different light
You could see me stand on my own again
Cause now i can see
You were the antidote that got me by
Something strong like a drug that got me high
I never meant to be so cold
I never really wanted you to see
The screwed up side of me that I keep
Locked inside of me so deep
It always seems to get to me
I never really wanted you to go
So many things you should have known
I guess for me theres just no hope
I never meant to be so cold
YOU FUCKED UP ... I HATE YOU AND YET I ALLOW MYSELF TO LET YOU IN AGAIN AND AGAIN! ALL I EVER WANTED WAS TO BE WITH YOU. IT SEEMS ALL YOU EVER WANTED TO DO WAS FUCK WITH MY LIFE! WELL CONGRADULATION ASS HOLE -- MISSION ACOMPLISHED