Contemplative
Brian once said that I'm better at concentrating when I drink because it helps slow my mind and I can better focus instead of having everything go so quickly so heres a bunch of thoughts that have been running through my head all at once.
My conversation with BB where we discussed like hanging out with people and how some people get attached really quickly while others may not because you ahve to establish that importance to the other person first. If that importance is not established then nothing may derive from it.
Also, and I'm typing so slow that I'm even loosing good thoughts going on. DIGRESSING! How much do you excuse of someone? Do you just let them go and beat you up if you think they ahve good cause or if they are emotional? How much do you let people tromp all over you because it seems as if I do that a lot. I let everyone tromp all over mea nd I don't know when to put my foot down and say stop. There ahve been some heinous things said about me and I haven't addressed or taken action against them because... well iuno. I just let it go and maybe I shouldn't always just let it go.
The people we on TV. We love them like most of America has fallen in love with the girls from Sex and the City and my first thought was that while we may never approach these people in real life and think they are losers we ultimately fall in love with these characters in the movie because we start to relate to them and being forced to watch a movie we then get to see who the character is. We are forced to take that time to get to know them which lead to the question on if this really could be representative and used in real life. To this I have decided that no it can not because while we may love the characters we would not love to know them. We just love to watch them and watch them interact with others while if we knew them in real life we would probably kill them adn find them very annoying. This was an interesting thought to me.
The other thoughts deal with other people and emotions like how quickly one can turn off certain emotions and not knowing where others stand. Its so interesting where you ahve two groups of people were who brought up with different social norms trying to interact with eachother while keeping their own beliefs of what is right and proper while the other persons may be different. It interests me in how to distinguise what hte other persons social norms and acceptabilities really are. How do you establish this and can it all be one through observation because if you have someone who is very out going and external then you may never know where they are good at hiding their emotions. While then you also have to take into consideration situational factors such as some times I have a bad day adn just don't want to see anyone or I will just be in an alone mood while other days I just dont' get enough social time to make me happy. Just so different which the ultimate answer to my first question on this topic would be to get to know the person adn take time but what if that time never really does give answers? I know everything gives some sort of answer so maybe its not being seen but what if answers are never given or given under false pretense.
I spoke before about watching people. There was one person I watched and very carefully and intently. I watched her interact with her arch nemasis that just pissed her off and the way she did was without flaw. I mean without any flaw which I was looking for so that I would know if I ever made this person mad what to look for. There was literally nothing. This was well rehearsed in which case how do you ever know, relating back to paragraph above.
Then thoughts of just coldness. How ones affections can be taken in so many different lights where really maybe its not a whole mistery but just ultimately that they are cold and have gone cold. Anythign other wise was noly in cold friendship devoid of any emotion, just appears that way. I think that has been a blanket pulled over my eyes.
I also, since I have been reading and studying on Ted Bundy, different ways that he reacted. It is possible that maybe he was that simple. Maybe it was this driving force and he was beign honest in his confessions during the last few hours he had to live. Maybe he did see it as a chemical thing and then got the idea that porn had something to do with it and ran with it seeing it as a real possibility while maybe he was only trying to get one over on us til the day he died. As Bugliosi said when meeting Charles Manson "To underestimate him would be the worst crime of all". Those weren't the exact words but the same meaning was there. That runs through my mind too. This all goes around and around and all at the same time in so many different directions that I find it so hard to make progress.
Then other thoughts are also going on with how to handle another sitaiotn. Someone reacently, iuno if they meant things as a joke or what but hit upon some sensitive subjects with me and I didn't like it. What to do on that. Most of these questions I am deprived of people to discuss all of this with so everythign ahs to be done through my own obvservations and who knows how flawed those are through my own social biases and known norms.
Le sigh, all of this at once, mixed with thoughts of The Happening. I got to watch part of it and got really sucked in so that has left me plenty to think about using psychology and disecting the movie like a careful scientist with a cadaver.
I know there are huge spelling errors adn words running together but I had so much going on that I wanted to get it all down somewhere so I could go through each of these thoroughly by themselves before I forgot all the rest and thinking of this all at the same time and trying to make progress just is so exhausting and all the topics are interesting so I couldn't throw another away.
This is SO representative of the starving cow theory.
Also what to do and where anger came from. What is right? Would making an action (I know I'm speaking vaguely but due to those who read this that I dont' want to I have to put some things in some sort of a code) be correct or no? Again this leads back to the starving cow theory.
I dont' know the name of the theory but heard about it once when I was.... before 6 on Cheers and it has stuck with me ever since. Interesting those random little things that just places itself somewhere in your permanent memory. hmm.
Then on ex's. Do they ever really like you for who you are or who they think you are? This is why I prefer to date friends, they know me, I know them, we already have a connection and a bond... so on. I don't like the other way around and while I see my friends make it work, I also see it having more chance of failure as well.
MUAH
My conversation with BB where we discussed like hanging out with people and how some people get attached really quickly while others may not because you ahve to establish that importance to the other person first. If that importance is not established then nothing may derive from it.
Also, and I'm typing so slow that I'm even loosing good thoughts going on. DIGRESSING! How much do you excuse of someone? Do you just let them go and beat you up if you think they ahve good cause or if they are emotional? How much do you let people tromp all over you because it seems as if I do that a lot. I let everyone tromp all over mea nd I don't know when to put my foot down and say stop. There ahve been some heinous things said about me and I haven't addressed or taken action against them because... well iuno. I just let it go and maybe I shouldn't always just let it go.
The people we on TV. We love them like most of America has fallen in love with the girls from Sex and the City and my first thought was that while we may never approach these people in real life and think they are losers we ultimately fall in love with these characters in the movie because we start to relate to them and being forced to watch a movie we then get to see who the character is. We are forced to take that time to get to know them which lead to the question on if this really could be representative and used in real life. To this I have decided that no it can not because while we may love the characters we would not love to know them. We just love to watch them and watch them interact with others while if we knew them in real life we would probably kill them adn find them very annoying. This was an interesting thought to me.
The other thoughts deal with other people and emotions like how quickly one can turn off certain emotions and not knowing where others stand. Its so interesting where you ahve two groups of people were who brought up with different social norms trying to interact with eachother while keeping their own beliefs of what is right and proper while the other persons may be different. It interests me in how to distinguise what hte other persons social norms and acceptabilities really are. How do you establish this and can it all be one through observation because if you have someone who is very out going and external then you may never know where they are good at hiding their emotions. While then you also have to take into consideration situational factors such as some times I have a bad day adn just don't want to see anyone or I will just be in an alone mood while other days I just dont' get enough social time to make me happy. Just so different which the ultimate answer to my first question on this topic would be to get to know the person adn take time but what if that time never really does give answers? I know everything gives some sort of answer so maybe its not being seen but what if answers are never given or given under false pretense.
I spoke before about watching people. There was one person I watched and very carefully and intently. I watched her interact with her arch nemasis that just pissed her off and the way she did was without flaw. I mean without any flaw which I was looking for so that I would know if I ever made this person mad what to look for. There was literally nothing. This was well rehearsed in which case how do you ever know, relating back to paragraph above.
Then thoughts of just coldness. How ones affections can be taken in so many different lights where really maybe its not a whole mistery but just ultimately that they are cold and have gone cold. Anythign other wise was noly in cold friendship devoid of any emotion, just appears that way. I think that has been a blanket pulled over my eyes.
I also, since I have been reading and studying on Ted Bundy, different ways that he reacted. It is possible that maybe he was that simple. Maybe it was this driving force and he was beign honest in his confessions during the last few hours he had to live. Maybe he did see it as a chemical thing and then got the idea that porn had something to do with it and ran with it seeing it as a real possibility while maybe he was only trying to get one over on us til the day he died. As Bugliosi said when meeting Charles Manson "To underestimate him would be the worst crime of all". Those weren't the exact words but the same meaning was there. That runs through my mind too. This all goes around and around and all at the same time in so many different directions that I find it so hard to make progress.
Then other thoughts are also going on with how to handle another sitaiotn. Someone reacently, iuno if they meant things as a joke or what but hit upon some sensitive subjects with me and I didn't like it. What to do on that. Most of these questions I am deprived of people to discuss all of this with so everythign ahs to be done through my own obvservations and who knows how flawed those are through my own social biases and known norms.
Le sigh, all of this at once, mixed with thoughts of The Happening. I got to watch part of it and got really sucked in so that has left me plenty to think about using psychology and disecting the movie like a careful scientist with a cadaver.
I know there are huge spelling errors adn words running together but I had so much going on that I wanted to get it all down somewhere so I could go through each of these thoroughly by themselves before I forgot all the rest and thinking of this all at the same time and trying to make progress just is so exhausting and all the topics are interesting so I couldn't throw another away.
This is SO representative of the starving cow theory.
Also what to do and where anger came from. What is right? Would making an action (I know I'm speaking vaguely but due to those who read this that I dont' want to I have to put some things in some sort of a code) be correct or no? Again this leads back to the starving cow theory.
I dont' know the name of the theory but heard about it once when I was.... before 6 on Cheers and it has stuck with me ever since. Interesting those random little things that just places itself somewhere in your permanent memory. hmm.
Then on ex's. Do they ever really like you for who you are or who they think you are? This is why I prefer to date friends, they know me, I know them, we already have a connection and a bond... so on. I don't like the other way around and while I see my friends make it work, I also see it having more chance of failure as well.
MUAH