The Unstoppable James Fucking Foster
This week was pretty rough out there at Hit Entertainment Studios. A pair of Halloween episodes. The story ran together which was kinda odd, too. I realize there are recurring characters in the show but I wasn’t aware that they shot two parters. That aside, the art department had the set decked out in Halloween. From black and orange everythings to pumpkins to kids and dinos in costume. To me this indicated two things:
1) The show would look really, really good. The new, hardcore choreographer had the honor of…well….choreographing all the dances. He’s very flamboyant and it shows in his work, which is rough on the dinos. The only consolation those guys have is that it looks great on camera.
2) Millions of things have the potential to go wrong. The dark omen that foretold the brutal hell the dinos were in for came in the form of Barney’s first fall in about 13 weeks of shooting. He didn’t even fall during the episode where he pretended to fall…on Barney sized roller skates.
Things, of course, went very badly. On second thought, that’s not entirely accurate. Things went very slowly. Songs/dance numbers take extra long to shoot because there isn’t room to “improv” or quickly recover from slight mistakes. It’s all written and performed per instruction. Although, from time to time the choreographer will change things but only slightly. The new dino, Riff, even took a bad spill. For the next two days his neck would be a constant concern and annoyance to him. The worst part about his fall was that my boy, BJ, was unable to see him and fell as well. Not hurt, mind you, but the dinos keep a running tally each time on falls. Due to BJ’s large, awkward shoes he is highly prone to toppling. I believe he is at 8 or 9 falls at this time.
Falling aside, Team BJ remains a constant symbol of perfection and unparalleled team work. We are consistently the fastest of the little dinos to get into costume and out on set. That is if we don’t take our time. I have only rushed to suit BJ once and that was due to Kyle watching TV instead of returning to the Dino Pit. But, once again, my quick thinking allowed me to fabricate the untruth that he had been suited up but got back out to take advantage of the facilities. And to further prove our skill, Kyle was able to tie one shoe as I tied the other. As I’ve stated, vocally, many time on set: Team BJ is ROCK SOLID.
Through all the dark haze of this cursed week of shooting, balance returned. As often happens, Wednesdays are designated as Happy Hour days. I was inconvenienced in the transportation department so I decided to have a series of Captain and Cokes. Sometimes the Happy Hour crew is well populated…and other times it is held together by a select few. I am considered a regular and often make an appearance and Carey is there more than I am. But I’m getting away from my story. Drinking, as any Foster Fan would know, is a reward in itself. The cute waitress who was very aggressive in regards to keeping my glass full greatly improved my mood. She became my honorary girlfriend of the evening. Until the manager of the pug toss four free tickets to Motely Crue and Aerosmith. Not the greatest seats in the world but considering they were free they became the best seats in the house. Unfortunately, Carey and I were the only two dedicated enough to “keepin’ in rillz” to go. And the next day we made sure everyone knew it. We were met with envious praise and jealous stares. Both fed our pride. The story could be a lot more descriptive but I summarized. Plus I’ve been telling the stories in great detail all day and I don’t feel like doing so again. Maybe next time, disciples.
Allow me to, instead, say that my next major purchase has been confirmed by your’s truly to be exactly what I want. I was able to sample the item and I was thoroughly impressed. I believe a few of you know what I am referring to and for the sake of the growing curiosity I’ll thank you to keep that information to yourselves. Needless to say I am quite excited over it.
In closing….It’s fucking 4:45am and I’m writing a blog novel. It’s also cold as hell and I’m fairly hungry and just as thirsty. And I’m just sick of typing. As Ice Cube once said: “Either they don’t know, or nobody gives a fuck, ‘bout what’s goin’ down in tha hood”
1) The show would look really, really good. The new, hardcore choreographer had the honor of…well….choreographing all the dances. He’s very flamboyant and it shows in his work, which is rough on the dinos. The only consolation those guys have is that it looks great on camera.
2) Millions of things have the potential to go wrong. The dark omen that foretold the brutal hell the dinos were in for came in the form of Barney’s first fall in about 13 weeks of shooting. He didn’t even fall during the episode where he pretended to fall…on Barney sized roller skates.
Things, of course, went very badly. On second thought, that’s not entirely accurate. Things went very slowly. Songs/dance numbers take extra long to shoot because there isn’t room to “improv” or quickly recover from slight mistakes. It’s all written and performed per instruction. Although, from time to time the choreographer will change things but only slightly. The new dino, Riff, even took a bad spill. For the next two days his neck would be a constant concern and annoyance to him. The worst part about his fall was that my boy, BJ, was unable to see him and fell as well. Not hurt, mind you, but the dinos keep a running tally each time on falls. Due to BJ’s large, awkward shoes he is highly prone to toppling. I believe he is at 8 or 9 falls at this time.
Falling aside, Team BJ remains a constant symbol of perfection and unparalleled team work. We are consistently the fastest of the little dinos to get into costume and out on set. That is if we don’t take our time. I have only rushed to suit BJ once and that was due to Kyle watching TV instead of returning to the Dino Pit. But, once again, my quick thinking allowed me to fabricate the untruth that he had been suited up but got back out to take advantage of the facilities. And to further prove our skill, Kyle was able to tie one shoe as I tied the other. As I’ve stated, vocally, many time on set: Team BJ is ROCK SOLID.
Through all the dark haze of this cursed week of shooting, balance returned. As often happens, Wednesdays are designated as Happy Hour days. I was inconvenienced in the transportation department so I decided to have a series of Captain and Cokes. Sometimes the Happy Hour crew is well populated…and other times it is held together by a select few. I am considered a regular and often make an appearance and Carey is there more than I am. But I’m getting away from my story. Drinking, as any Foster Fan would know, is a reward in itself. The cute waitress who was very aggressive in regards to keeping my glass full greatly improved my mood. She became my honorary girlfriend of the evening. Until the manager of the pug toss four free tickets to Motely Crue and Aerosmith. Not the greatest seats in the world but considering they were free they became the best seats in the house. Unfortunately, Carey and I were the only two dedicated enough to “keepin’ in rillz” to go. And the next day we made sure everyone knew it. We were met with envious praise and jealous stares. Both fed our pride. The story could be a lot more descriptive but I summarized. Plus I’ve been telling the stories in great detail all day and I don’t feel like doing so again. Maybe next time, disciples.
Allow me to, instead, say that my next major purchase has been confirmed by your’s truly to be exactly what I want. I was able to sample the item and I was thoroughly impressed. I believe a few of you know what I am referring to and for the sake of the growing curiosity I’ll thank you to keep that information to yourselves. Needless to say I am quite excited over it.
In closing….It’s fucking 4:45am and I’m writing a blog novel. It’s also cold as hell and I’m fairly hungry and just as thirsty. And I’m just sick of typing. As Ice Cube once said: “Either they don’t know, or nobody gives a fuck, ‘bout what’s goin’ down in tha hood”