(no subject)
Why is the cycle repeating itself again? Why is it that despite me emphasizing, time and time again, my husband is always prioritizing his games ahead of me? Why can't he see that he can do more meaningful things with his time like talking to me, listening to me, or just showing concern for me and helping me?
Why is it that everytime I must push n nudge him before he could move an inch? Why in the freaking hell must he take me for granted? This whole freaking world is taking me for granted. I hate it. HATE IT.
Things would be so different if I still have my parents around. I miss them. My life had ceased to mean a thing ever since they are gone. Why must they leave me alone to suffer?
Everytime I get confident that I'm finalli out of the depression cycle, I get sucked right back into it again. Why is my life so messed up and full of mistakes?! Hate it.
How long more can I tolerate this I reali dun wish to know. Hope became something I'm already tired of. Life have no miracles, at least for me. What's there to look forward to each day? What's the point of continuing when people misunderstands u for some unreasonable nutcase instead of seeking to understand my feelings? Meaningless.
My biggest flaw is unable to forgive those who hurt me in the past. It's a hurt so deep that whenever the present gets rocky, the memories come flooding in. All the hurt comes back and I start to HATE. Learning to forgive is easier said then done. And for me, I'll NEVER forgive. Sorry.
I reali duno wad to do from now on. My marriage is hitting the rocks because of my hatred. But why should I forgive the one who hurt my feelings time n time again? Why must I?
Tomorrow's another day. How I wish I'd be dead.