The creamy ooey-gooey center of the donut of "wisdom".
Ella Wheeler Wilcox said, "Love lights more fire than hate extinguishes."
I think it is only when we have experienced love that we truly realise what would be lost by missing it.
When people fall in love, they are usually overwhelmed. They see what they want to see, rather than what there is. They do not understand when others are not astounded by the beauty, warmth, strength and brilliance of another person's loved one. It's like the fabled magical specs which, when worn, were capable of creating a paradise out of hell. [sigh] Reality, it would seem, casts an unendurable glare.
I think emotional extremes that distort our perception of reality are capable of making fools of us all. I'm guessing that these states are usually transitory and are rarely conducive to sound judgment. I mean, well, if we are willing to wait, however, we learn a sense of balance. Passions are ripened rather than inflamed; adoration is tempered with moderation. But this is not to say that we lose our "fire" or become emotionally limp. I'm just saying that it is only a reminder that people need to remove the emotional blinders so that they can trust their "vision". After all, as Henry David Thoreau once said, "A man must see before he can say."
But then there's the paradox of hurting those we love. It is, indeed a paradox of love that we often hurt the most the ones we love the most. Why is that? Why do we do that to each other? We continually correct their faults, question their decisions, challenge their assumptions. Then, sometimes, we even place higher standards upon them than we do upon ourselves. Oh, but don't get me wrong. There's nothing wrong with wanting those we love and cherish to be their best, but we'll never accomplish this with a steady stream of negative criticism.
Observing someone the other day...though this person cared deeply for her children, her demeanor toward them was almost entirely negative--constant stern reminders and warnings of "Hey! Don't do that!" or "You should..." or "You shouldn't really..." were said constantly--verbal comments used to point out her children's shortcomings.
We're all guilty of criticising others. But I think that criticism is a complex, subtle art not to be taken or given lightly. Yes, I know. It can be constructive, but it can also tear down.
I think what I learned from observing this mom interact with her kids is that I need to keep something in mind. The next time I'm tempted to say to anyone, "You know, the trouble with you is...," I think I may want to reconsider and ask myself why I'm doing it. I think everyone should stop and think why they do that too. I mean, is there truly a positive reason for making this comment or might it be better to remain silent? What will we have profited if we make our point, but diminish a human being or lose someone we care about?
Tsk. What was it again? Oh yeah, my favourite poet said:
"Words as hard as cannon-balls..."
I think it is only when we have experienced love that we truly realise what would be lost by missing it.
When people fall in love, they are usually overwhelmed. They see what they want to see, rather than what there is. They do not understand when others are not astounded by the beauty, warmth, strength and brilliance of another person's loved one. It's like the fabled magical specs which, when worn, were capable of creating a paradise out of hell. [sigh] Reality, it would seem, casts an unendurable glare.
I think emotional extremes that distort our perception of reality are capable of making fools of us all. I'm guessing that these states are usually transitory and are rarely conducive to sound judgment. I mean, well, if we are willing to wait, however, we learn a sense of balance. Passions are ripened rather than inflamed; adoration is tempered with moderation. But this is not to say that we lose our "fire" or become emotionally limp. I'm just saying that it is only a reminder that people need to remove the emotional blinders so that they can trust their "vision". After all, as Henry David Thoreau once said, "A man must see before he can say."
But then there's the paradox of hurting those we love. It is, indeed a paradox of love that we often hurt the most the ones we love the most. Why is that? Why do we do that to each other? We continually correct their faults, question their decisions, challenge their assumptions. Then, sometimes, we even place higher standards upon them than we do upon ourselves. Oh, but don't get me wrong. There's nothing wrong with wanting those we love and cherish to be their best, but we'll never accomplish this with a steady stream of negative criticism.
Observing someone the other day...though this person cared deeply for her children, her demeanor toward them was almost entirely negative--constant stern reminders and warnings of "Hey! Don't do that!" or "You should..." or "You shouldn't really..." were said constantly--verbal comments used to point out her children's shortcomings.
We're all guilty of criticising others. But I think that criticism is a complex, subtle art not to be taken or given lightly. Yes, I know. It can be constructive, but it can also tear down.
I think what I learned from observing this mom interact with her kids is that I need to keep something in mind. The next time I'm tempted to say to anyone, "You know, the trouble with you is...," I think I may want to reconsider and ask myself why I'm doing it. I think everyone should stop and think why they do that too. I mean, is there truly a positive reason for making this comment or might it be better to remain silent? What will we have profited if we make our point, but diminish a human being or lose someone we care about?
Tsk. What was it again? Oh yeah, my favourite poet said:
"Words as hard as cannon-balls..."