(no subject)
I wish I had a rascal flatts cd; somehow listening to music that reminds me of you makes me feel closer to you when you feel so far away.
I hate this.
Im feeling sick. I'm feeling drained.
And these next 3-5 weeks should be sort of stressful.
I have so many things on my mind it doesn't feel like i have any room.
I cant think of one aspect of my life that feels solid at this particular moment.
WOrk has been slow, I need a new summer job, and they are putting about 4 brand new girls behind the bar and all the oldest bartenders are leaving, making me the oldest... this is not a responsibility i want because some of the girls they want back there havent even waited tables before. Oh well. I really needed to make money tonight and take my mind off things but instead i sat at one end of the bar making drinks so i didnt have to talk to anyone because i couldn't stop thinking about some things.
HOme, doesn't feel right either. OH wait, because we might get evicted. That was some added drama i guess i really didnt need today, but as far as im conerned, its over till monday when we hear more.
School has been hard to go to. I have this general lack of enthusiasm for classes and what not. its beginning to feel like the end of sophomore year in hs when i decided to graduate early. I wish I could do that here, but i don't see it happening. my gpa is steadily decreasing, and im worried about my communication application. I keep having all these crazy ideas about career possibilities, most of them i keep to myself because i know ill change my mind. I don't know. I'm so confused.
The worst part is, I know none of this would matter if wasn't sitting here at home in camino, thinking about you. I hate fighting with people, especially you.
I think thats all i have to contribute tonight, cause i have to work tomorrow. Im turning the phone off and passing out.
I hate this.
Im feeling sick. I'm feeling drained.
And these next 3-5 weeks should be sort of stressful.
I have so many things on my mind it doesn't feel like i have any room.
I cant think of one aspect of my life that feels solid at this particular moment.
WOrk has been slow, I need a new summer job, and they are putting about 4 brand new girls behind the bar and all the oldest bartenders are leaving, making me the oldest... this is not a responsibility i want because some of the girls they want back there havent even waited tables before. Oh well. I really needed to make money tonight and take my mind off things but instead i sat at one end of the bar making drinks so i didnt have to talk to anyone because i couldn't stop thinking about some things.
HOme, doesn't feel right either. OH wait, because we might get evicted. That was some added drama i guess i really didnt need today, but as far as im conerned, its over till monday when we hear more.
School has been hard to go to. I have this general lack of enthusiasm for classes and what not. its beginning to feel like the end of sophomore year in hs when i decided to graduate early. I wish I could do that here, but i don't see it happening. my gpa is steadily decreasing, and im worried about my communication application. I keep having all these crazy ideas about career possibilities, most of them i keep to myself because i know ill change my mind. I don't know. I'm so confused.
The worst part is, I know none of this would matter if wasn't sitting here at home in camino, thinking about you. I hate fighting with people, especially you.
I think thats all i have to contribute tonight, cause i have to work tomorrow. Im turning the phone off and passing out.