(no subject)

Jan 06, 2006 15:32

I'm so goddamn confused, I came back here to vent. Or rant, whatever you want to call it.

Ok, so. My ex tells me she wants to go back out with me, only she's still going out with my replacement, guy named Andrew. She says that she likes me more than him, but for SOME reason, she just can't break up with him. *eye roll* So, I'm loney, I'm confused, I'm emo...then my friend Kim, whom I've known since the beginning of last year, whom I've always liked, tells me that she has a "girl crush" on me one day when we're backstage in Drama. Everyone had left already, we were the only ones in the whole damn auditorium. I laughed it off, spent another hour or so fucking off, then we go home. Well, actually, the crazy security guard Alan kicked us out, but that's beside the point.

I get home. I obsess over what she said. I text her in the middle of the night: "Um, Kimmeh? What exactly is a girl crush?". She replies. "It means I like you." I piss myself. We go through another day of school in which we both pretend nothing happened. I make a list comparing Kim to my ex, Jessica. Kim totally kicks Jessica's ass in the pro-cons list. I get home. I text Kim and......ask her out, basically. I don't remember how it happened, but she said yes.

So, we're going out. We're both in Drama, and theres a play coming up, so we get to spend lots n lots of time together at dress rehearsals n whatnot. I'm quite happy. Play ends, we don't get to spend QUITE as much time together. I'm still happy, mind you. We go out once, to Manhattan. That was quite a bit of fun, as it happens. I'm STILL HAPPY.

Now, everythings gone to hell in a handbasket. All of my friends are telling me that I should "back up", ie; not get so attached, because I'll just get hurt. They're acting like Kim's a total asshole, which, to the best of my knowledge and in my experience, she isn't. Everyone's weirding me out. I have no idea what to do.

Besides listen to As I Lay Dying and be an annoying little emo bitch, that is.

Fuck, I hate my life sometimes.
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