Shin Se Kyung VS Key (crackfic)
Crackfic based on ranting... Keyva, what a bitch.
Key let the tofu sizzle, ignoring the pleas for chicken from his eldest roommate. Why he was roomies with this man he didn’t know, Onew wasn’t even a student and they had never gone to the same school, why were Key and Onew roommates?
“Please, I need to have at least a liter of chicken grease running through my veins by 9AM!” Key maneuvered the spatula to get both sides of the soy treat cooked, gracefully dismissing his wishes.
“Chicken makes you fat, and I am not going to get fat because you are a pig!” Then he turned off the stove and emptied the fluffy tofu onto two platters. In a sweet voice, one completely contrasting with his previous tone, he called out the youngest resident of the apartment. “Taemin, baby, it’s time to wake up and have some breakfast!” Then Key continued preparations for breakfast by putting a slice of toast into the toaster for his baby and him, as well as pouring some fresh orange juice for himself and generously getting a tall glass of banana milk for Taemin.
The young boy entered the kitchen with bright morning smiles; he was a fun morning person. The first thing he did was run up to Key and kiss him cutely on the cheek. “Thanks for making breakfast again Umma!” Then he quickly sat down and started to dig into his tofu. The toast popped out and Key handed a slice to Tae, not acknowledging the starving Dubu beside him. Like a mother and her his child, they ate like they were the perfect family.
After breakfast Taemin went to school, Key went off to his beauty college, and Onew stayed around looking for some artery clogging meat. Key was very famous in his college for being flamboyantly gay, every knew, especially the equally as famous Kim Jonghyun.
Girls wanted to get into Jonghyun’s pants so badly that some would literally crawl in the middle of class to his desk and start unbuttoning them. Most of the time Jonghyun would not reject a quick blowjob, and if the girl was hot enough, just a quicky in general.
Today was another day where Key had to watch as Jonghyun was pleasured by another one of the sluts in their class. Key absolutely hated those bitches. First of all, they dared to think that they were prettier than him. HIM, KIM FREAKING KIBUM! Bitches didn’t understand how ugly they were and how beautiful he was. Second, they didn’t realize that Jjong and he were already destined for a platonic romance together. And third, all those hoes were confirmed with at least one STD each, Key was sure of it.
Sure he could easily win the heart of his soon to-be lover; Key waltzed over to Jonghyun, showing off his stylish clothes. Pink leopard print shirt with a glittery pink vest over some smoking hot red skinnies, and his luscious red hair curled to one side of his perfectly angular face. What man, straight or gay, could resist him? His ass was finer than THE XIAH JUNSU! And man, did Key flaunt it! He practically waved those fine orbs in Jonghyun’s face.
Well too bad, this straight man was distracted by the biggest bitch of them all, Shin Se Kyung! “Oh my gosh Jonghyun, everyone says we would make an awesome couple! We should totally hook up!” Jonghyun grinned at her, at it hurt Key a little to see this because he was madly in love with the man and he was smiling at her.
“Totally babe, we should go on a date after school!” Then they left together with this chic and popular aura radiating around them. Just as the first tears started to fall, Se Kyung turned around and sneered at Key. She knew, hell, everyone knew how much Key was infatuated with Jonghyun. Almost everyone had heard Key fall asleep during a school radio broadcast, moaning Jonghyun’s name in a very sexual way. ‘Oooh Jjongie, please fuck me harder! Ngh!’ Except for Jonghyun who had been absent that day, he was getting a checkup from his doctor.
Seeing that bitch’s sneer halted all tears that Key would have previously burst out. THAT BITCH TOTALLY DID THAT ON PURPOSE! She got in his freaking way of seducing his true love! That was it! Key had to do something, or they’d just date and his life would be miserable!
What that bitch couldn’t comprehend was that Jonghyun and Key were already best friends, Key just happened to be gay and Jonghyun loved his tits. Key haughtily took a seat on the right side of Jonghyun as lunch while that slut Se Kyung hung onto his left arm and occupied the space clearly matching that arm. She saw him, so Key let his tongue flick her off and hang low. What a bitch, she deserves to be hit by a bus.
“Hey Jjongie, wow Park seonsaengnim was totally bitchy earlier, think she’s PMSing?” This made Jonghyun chuckle a little, but Se Kyung scowled.
“You are such an insensitive Diva Key. Park seonsaengnim is only twenty-nine, so there is no way she is already at that stage!” Then Jonghyun immediately stopped laughing, like he cared what that whore thought of him.
Oh that hoe was not winning him over! Key leaned very sexily onto Jonghyun’s right arm, eliminating his mobility completely. “Umm, guys, I would like to eat…” Key blew into his ear.
“Shh, let me feed you yeobo.” Key reached for the sandwich he had been eating and tried to stuff it into his mouth, but Jonghyun squirmed until he was out of his grasp and leaned into Se Kyung instead, the bitch was beaming in a gloating glory.
“Jjongie, honey, let’s just skip the rest of our classes and go on that date now!” Jonghyun liked this idea and agreed immediately. Being the good students they were, they discreetly ducked behind some tables, and in no way were suspicious as they looked both ways to make sure no guard followed them out of the school.
Key absolutely wanted to strangle her. SHE CALLED HIM BY HIS PET NAME, JJONGIE! Oh bitch was going down! He decided to follow them on their date. All he had to do was flirt with the guard to get out (he totally wanted to tap that ass). He had almost reached his car, the one his parents got him before they realized he was gay and kicked him out of their lives, when a crazy girl on the school roof came out of hiding.
“Holy Shinki, you are such a fucking Diva, nobody likes you! Either shut the fuck up and let them be or go die! Se Kyung is a better person and it makes so much more sense for that woman to be with Jonghyun than you!”
BOOM -SPLAT!
The Diva was dead, shot down by a hater.
Key let the tofu sizzle, ignoring the pleas for chicken from his eldest roommate. Why he was roomies with this man he didn’t know, Onew wasn’t even a student and they had never gone to the same school, why were Key and Onew roommates?
“Please, I need to have at least a liter of chicken grease running through my veins by 9AM!” Key maneuvered the spatula to get both sides of the soy treat cooked, gracefully dismissing his wishes.
“Chicken makes you fat, and I am not going to get fat because you are a pig!” Then he turned off the stove and emptied the fluffy tofu onto two platters. In a sweet voice, one completely contrasting with his previous tone, he called out the youngest resident of the apartment. “Taemin, baby, it’s time to wake up and have some breakfast!” Then Key continued preparations for breakfast by putting a slice of toast into the toaster for his baby and him, as well as pouring some fresh orange juice for himself and generously getting a tall glass of banana milk for Taemin.
The young boy entered the kitchen with bright morning smiles; he was a fun morning person. The first thing he did was run up to Key and kiss him cutely on the cheek. “Thanks for making breakfast again Umma!” Then he quickly sat down and started to dig into his tofu. The toast popped out and Key handed a slice to Tae, not acknowledging the starving Dubu beside him. Like a mother and her his child, they ate like they were the perfect family.
After breakfast Taemin went to school, Key went off to his beauty college, and Onew stayed around looking for some artery clogging meat. Key was very famous in his college for being flamboyantly gay, every knew, especially the equally as famous Kim Jonghyun.
Girls wanted to get into Jonghyun’s pants so badly that some would literally crawl in the middle of class to his desk and start unbuttoning them. Most of the time Jonghyun would not reject a quick blowjob, and if the girl was hot enough, just a quicky in general.
Today was another day where Key had to watch as Jonghyun was pleasured by another one of the sluts in their class. Key absolutely hated those bitches. First of all, they dared to think that they were prettier than him. HIM, KIM FREAKING KIBUM! Bitches didn’t understand how ugly they were and how beautiful he was. Second, they didn’t realize that Jjong and he were already destined for a platonic romance together. And third, all those hoes were confirmed with at least one STD each, Key was sure of it.
Sure he could easily win the heart of his soon to-be lover; Key waltzed over to Jonghyun, showing off his stylish clothes. Pink leopard print shirt with a glittery pink vest over some smoking hot red skinnies, and his luscious red hair curled to one side of his perfectly angular face. What man, straight or gay, could resist him? His ass was finer than THE XIAH JUNSU! And man, did Key flaunt it! He practically waved those fine orbs in Jonghyun’s face.
Well too bad, this straight man was distracted by the biggest bitch of them all, Shin Se Kyung! “Oh my gosh Jonghyun, everyone says we would make an awesome couple! We should totally hook up!” Jonghyun grinned at her, at it hurt Key a little to see this because he was madly in love with the man and he was smiling at her.
“Totally babe, we should go on a date after school!” Then they left together with this chic and popular aura radiating around them. Just as the first tears started to fall, Se Kyung turned around and sneered at Key. She knew, hell, everyone knew how much Key was infatuated with Jonghyun. Almost everyone had heard Key fall asleep during a school radio broadcast, moaning Jonghyun’s name in a very sexual way. ‘Oooh Jjongie, please fuck me harder! Ngh!’ Except for Jonghyun who had been absent that day, he was getting a checkup from his doctor.
Seeing that bitch’s sneer halted all tears that Key would have previously burst out. THAT BITCH TOTALLY DID THAT ON PURPOSE! She got in his freaking way of seducing his true love! That was it! Key had to do something, or they’d just date and his life would be miserable!
What that bitch couldn’t comprehend was that Jonghyun and Key were already best friends, Key just happened to be gay and Jonghyun loved his tits. Key haughtily took a seat on the right side of Jonghyun as lunch while that slut Se Kyung hung onto his left arm and occupied the space clearly matching that arm. She saw him, so Key let his tongue flick her off and hang low. What a bitch, she deserves to be hit by a bus.
“Hey Jjongie, wow Park seonsaengnim was totally bitchy earlier, think she’s PMSing?” This made Jonghyun chuckle a little, but Se Kyung scowled.
“You are such an insensitive Diva Key. Park seonsaengnim is only twenty-nine, so there is no way she is already at that stage!” Then Jonghyun immediately stopped laughing, like he cared what that whore thought of him.
Oh that hoe was not winning him over! Key leaned very sexily onto Jonghyun’s right arm, eliminating his mobility completely. “Umm, guys, I would like to eat…” Key blew into his ear.
“Shh, let me feed you yeobo.” Key reached for the sandwich he had been eating and tried to stuff it into his mouth, but Jonghyun squirmed until he was out of his grasp and leaned into Se Kyung instead, the bitch was beaming in a gloating glory.
“Jjongie, honey, let’s just skip the rest of our classes and go on that date now!” Jonghyun liked this idea and agreed immediately. Being the good students they were, they discreetly ducked behind some tables, and in no way were suspicious as they looked both ways to make sure no guard followed them out of the school.
Key absolutely wanted to strangle her. SHE CALLED HIM BY HIS PET NAME, JJONGIE! Oh bitch was going down! He decided to follow them on their date. All he had to do was flirt with the guard to get out (he totally wanted to tap that ass). He had almost reached his car, the one his parents got him before they realized he was gay and kicked him out of their lives, when a crazy girl on the school roof came out of hiding.
“Holy Shinki, you are such a fucking Diva, nobody likes you! Either shut the fuck up and let them be or go die! Se Kyung is a better person and it makes so much more sense for that woman to be with Jonghyun than you!”
BOOM -SPLAT!
The Diva was dead, shot down by a hater.