(no subject)
There are times when a part of make wakes up, and comes to realize what is going on around [me.]
Many people don't know, sometimes I have these realizations where I'm like, "Oh, I'm Chris Carter. I forgot." Literally.
That part of me is sorta like that, except it wakes up and goes, "This is wrong! and this, and this, and this.. It's all wrong!" This usually happens in some odd relation to world events, world events related to the well being of our country. Don't get me wrong, I know this country isn't perfect, and there are many injustices going on inside of the nation. Try, for a moment, to imagine some evil is necessary. I'm no one to judge what is necessary, and what is unforgivable for anyone but myself. But then...
I want to change things, radically, and in a swift manner. I get this mindset, like who really is gonna care, if it isn't for the greater good? Then, I'm like, what really is the greater good? It isn't peace, it isn't war. It isn't love, and it isn't hate. It falls between all of that, and I think this is natural. Evolution, understanding, development, and even progress. These things are usually the pride of those who benefit from them, while others suffer. What I'm getting at here, is sometimes the order of these things annoy me. I'm a single child, when I don't get my way, I am prone to tantrums, and being stingy.
It's confusing to me, too. Because sometimes I can't tell what I can/cannot change, when I am so used to just believing it happens for a reason.
While most people believe I trust no one, that is wrong. Honestly, every once and a while, I trust someone to a point, and they "betray" my trust, and I become jaded. Healing is a long, long process for me. I try to over bandage and heal myself, I think. I try so hard at the start of the wound, and often punish myself for having to bleed [my own blood.]
At every extreme I am known to have, there's an exact opposite right below it, hidden, and out of sight. It's there, though. Because for everything I believe, it seems, I have the exact opposite of that belief system already thought out. Lately, I have been trying to focus between those things [sorta like the above paragraph, but about my mind, not yours.]
When I am overly weak, and weary, tired both mentally and physically.. I rely on memories, happy ones, no matter what, to get me through.
Many people don't know, sometimes I have these realizations where I'm like, "Oh, I'm Chris Carter. I forgot." Literally.
That part of me is sorta like that, except it wakes up and goes, "This is wrong! and this, and this, and this.. It's all wrong!" This usually happens in some odd relation to world events, world events related to the well being of our country. Don't get me wrong, I know this country isn't perfect, and there are many injustices going on inside of the nation. Try, for a moment, to imagine some evil is necessary. I'm no one to judge what is necessary, and what is unforgivable for anyone but myself. But then...
I want to change things, radically, and in a swift manner. I get this mindset, like who really is gonna care, if it isn't for the greater good? Then, I'm like, what really is the greater good? It isn't peace, it isn't war. It isn't love, and it isn't hate. It falls between all of that, and I think this is natural. Evolution, understanding, development, and even progress. These things are usually the pride of those who benefit from them, while others suffer. What I'm getting at here, is sometimes the order of these things annoy me. I'm a single child, when I don't get my way, I am prone to tantrums, and being stingy.
It's confusing to me, too. Because sometimes I can't tell what I can/cannot change, when I am so used to just believing it happens for a reason.
While most people believe I trust no one, that is wrong. Honestly, every once and a while, I trust someone to a point, and they "betray" my trust, and I become jaded. Healing is a long, long process for me. I try to over bandage and heal myself, I think. I try so hard at the start of the wound, and often punish myself for having to bleed [my own blood.]
At every extreme I am known to have, there's an exact opposite right below it, hidden, and out of sight. It's there, though. Because for everything I believe, it seems, I have the exact opposite of that belief system already thought out. Lately, I have been trying to focus between those things [sorta like the above paragraph, but about my mind, not yours.]
When I am overly weak, and weary, tired both mentally and physically.. I rely on memories, happy ones, no matter what, to get me through.