More about Scott's lezzies -- and Tumblr

[devifemme]

Ooooh, late last night, I was on Tumblr -- and it was as if I was perfectly wired into an alternate sexual universe. Like old confusing ideas had been swept away and current frustrations (read Joanne) were somehow irrelevant

Comments

[ggary]

To be honest, in the Monday Scott Church photo I never saw them as being any other than lesbians. The girl on the left seemed in an ecstasy of anticipation, whilst the girl on the right looked as though she were whispering something in her ear, raising her expectations ever higher. So much of erotica is anticipation. You know, looking at the domme/subbie thing, I have to say that until now I never really understood it emotionally. But today I was thinking about my obsession with rollercoasters in my teenage years. I used to go on the things whenever I saw them. For me, my favourite bit was always the long climb to the first drop. There was the bit where it crested the top of the first, huge hump and prepared to drop. Although you knew that you were safe, you always felt that you wanted to get off. But the point was, you couldn't. It was all out of your control. There was nothing that you could do. The ride was in control. I hope that you don't mind me asking, but is this the part of the attraction of domination. It is basically role-play, but you can hold onto the frisson of fear; the fear of being out of control. Someone else is in charge. Am I 100% out, or is it somehing like that? Again, sorry for asking, but I wondered if I had come anywhere near understanding it.

[devifemme]

Sure, Gary, I can say the frisson of anticipation is very real to me -- but I loved enacting the whole subbie scene, start to finish, albeit a fairly tame one. (The spankings didn't feel tame, not at all -- especially since Joanne was utterly INTO it, really letting me have it.) I wanted it so keenly; it thrilled me as each spank landed -- and I was usually allowed to cum at the end, squirming and sobbing and...whew! Then we'd set out finding variations on the theme the very next night...or whenever! Fantasies were spun, then happily enacted...it went on for years!

Thing was, unlike your roller coaster, I was to some degree in control; she wanted me to want a spanking -- sometimes making me beg for it. To that extent, Joanne wasn't what I understand to be a "typical" dominatrix -- from whom one can't escape. When, truly, "there was nothing that you could do" to avoid punishment.

I'm happy you asked; I do wonder -- as I was writing here -- if my experience really is "typical." Certainly, anyone paying to be dominated KNOWS consciously that they have sought it, and the domme would accept one's backing out. But I think many other D/s situations must respond to the same sense of want/need, articulated or not.

A fascinating dynamic, no question...

[ggary]

Yes, indeed. I do wonder, though, if there is anything such thing as a "typical" experience. It sounds so much a question of the people involved, and their relationship, with their concomitant private fantasies. Such a personal thing.
Thanks again.

[devifemme]

Have you ever been the spanker or the one spanked? No need for details -- just wondering about you familiarity with it...

Hugz, J

[ggary]

I've got to be honest, Justine, neither of the above. It's one of those things that I've heard of, but never really, deeply, emotionally understood. I didn't have any antipathy to it, but it was something so outside of my experience that it was hard to make any connection. But reading you talking about it with such tenderness and delight, I finally felt that I was beginning to have a glimmer of understanding. At first I wasn't certain that I should ask you about it, but in the end my curiosity got the better of me, as I like to understand about my friends.

All the best

Gary

[devifemme]

Dear Gary -- well, I like being sincerely understood by my LJ friends like you.

This was a lovely exchange; your praise ("tenderness and delight") is most kindly received. And you, my dear friend, are both a gentleman and a scolar.

Hugz, J

[ggary]

Thanks, Justine. Your praise ("a gentleman and a scholar") means a tremendous amount to me. Thankyou.

All the best

Gary