Taking my temperature
I'm not posting as often as I'd like, and I thought it'd be good to tell you lovely readers why. Things are much better between me and Joanne, especially the trip and the nice easy thing we've got going since coming back. I was less uptight in traveling (single exception: the TSA at Philly -- I behaved myself okay in public, but I was so bitter about the rotten way EVERYONE was treated there...well, Joanne was the semi-unwilling observer of that unhappiness). Still, I relaxed more -- and we both had a good time.
Anyway, she's proposing more things to do together -- not insisting on them, just asking if I want to do something. On Saturday, there was a big-deal theater event that she was deeply involved in; I couldn't make the early portion, but came later and stuck around longer than I think she expected. Afterwards we had a fun evening together. Today I suggested a business dinner with a few people I knew she liked; though business got discussed, she seemed happier in that setting than she has in the past couple of years.
We've even just watched a couple of TV shows, cuddling together. Actually, that simple-minded TV thing is something we like to do periodically, two couch potatoes -- but it works so well for us. We get to chatting, forget the show and just share time and space.
Not that we're past those deeper issues, including sex. I'm a bit cautious nowadays, not wanting to freak her out -- just when we're relating pretty well. Sadly, it's that tiptoe-around-the-elephant (in the room, as it were) that worries me. The prospect of sex clearly bothers her; I've know that, and ALSO known that it's probably not about ME, particularly. Rather, it is just the vulnerability she evidently feels. There's more to it -- but I'm not able to get into it right now. But, thanks, you guys, I know how sincerely you follow my moods, notably HOW we're reacting to each other. And it's better than okay...for now.
Anyway, she's proposing more things to do together -- not insisting on them, just asking if I want to do something. On Saturday, there was a big-deal theater event that she was deeply involved in; I couldn't make the early portion, but came later and stuck around longer than I think she expected. Afterwards we had a fun evening together. Today I suggested a business dinner with a few people I knew she liked; though business got discussed, she seemed happier in that setting than she has in the past couple of years.
We've even just watched a couple of TV shows, cuddling together. Actually, that simple-minded TV thing is something we like to do periodically, two couch potatoes -- but it works so well for us. We get to chatting, forget the show and just share time and space.
Not that we're past those deeper issues, including sex. I'm a bit cautious nowadays, not wanting to freak her out -- just when we're relating pretty well. Sadly, it's that tiptoe-around-the-elephant (in the room, as it were) that worries me. The prospect of sex clearly bothers her; I've know that, and ALSO known that it's probably not about ME, particularly. Rather, it is just the vulnerability she evidently feels. There's more to it -- but I'm not able to get into it right now. But, thanks, you guys, I know how sincerely you follow my moods, notably HOW we're reacting to each other. And it's better than okay...for now.