Just put your claws away and settle!!
was long on the scrub today. six hours give or take, my back bumping and grinding and moaning like Miley Cyrus at the VMA. I got to sit down before it started twerking. ;)
I dunno whether these longer shifts are a good idea. Either that or I'm getting old and just don't have the stamina I did as a late twentysomething. Cos these BIG scrubs are wrecking me. after you eat, which is late, you feel bloated and lethargic - I think primarily cos my body's been fasting then gorging and after that it just wants to sit in a corner and digest.
I also got a little tearful because I had less than 30 mins to go on my shift and had to organise 45+ mins of work. Hump! I did what I could but given the exhaustion I felt from the prior work my tolerance slipped a bit and my head skirted the dark place without going fully into it.
But I'll be in bed fairly soon after writing this so I think that will be a good compromise for not getting blacked by my peculiar mental state.
Myself and many of my friends did the online C4 test during their weekend psychopathy show. Under a dozen questions, the answers on a relevant scale, plus important things like favourite pet, musical genre and what format I get most of my news from.
Result?
82% on the psychopathy scale.
I tried it again and got 79%.
My mom got 29%, a friend in the high twenties. Jellybean got 52%. Miz Leo in the mid seventies.
No one 82% so far.
So what does that mean? I'm three quarters of a psychopath masquerading as an empathic health professional? Oh, ok, that makes me feel a hell of a lot better.
I know why this is.
Everyone is hostile until proven otherwise.
Frightening to some of you I'm sure but at times its served me well. Should I be more open and honest with strangers? sure, and maybe if they offer me candy and I ride home in their car I should accept?
Ok, bit dramatic but you get the idea.
it takes a deal of patience for me to take to anyone at the moment. A long-term moment, I think it's my age. Or as Miz Em theorised the high grade on the psychopathy scale could be battle-fatigue. First noticed in serving military during conflict (hence the term) it's a state where the constant stress wrought on the individual educes something close to a psychotic state. irritability, inability to cope if crisis' occur, the progression from minor to major happens in a millisecond, and a complete lack of empathy for others in the surrounding area.
all I need now is Don McCullin to take a snapshot of me and I'll have the thousand-yard-stare down pat. :)
Or it could be Christmastime and all the bullshit that brings.
Ug.
no explanation necessary I think..
I think, like all things it's a mix. My feral-ness and the stress of the season. the knee supports, spraying opsite on my knuckles, the fist bumps, it's not a high-tea, crinolines and doilies kinda theatre dept right now (kind of why I love it) but the feeling of being under constant stretch is beginning to take its toll on me mentally I think. the 2 days off at Christmas cannot come soon enough.
and I've got to get writing my awards of the year 2013 too...
oh stuff it, I'm goin to bed..
I dunno whether these longer shifts are a good idea. Either that or I'm getting old and just don't have the stamina I did as a late twentysomething. Cos these BIG scrubs are wrecking me. after you eat, which is late, you feel bloated and lethargic - I think primarily cos my body's been fasting then gorging and after that it just wants to sit in a corner and digest.
I also got a little tearful because I had less than 30 mins to go on my shift and had to organise 45+ mins of work. Hump! I did what I could but given the exhaustion I felt from the prior work my tolerance slipped a bit and my head skirted the dark place without going fully into it.
But I'll be in bed fairly soon after writing this so I think that will be a good compromise for not getting blacked by my peculiar mental state.
Myself and many of my friends did the online C4 test during their weekend psychopathy show. Under a dozen questions, the answers on a relevant scale, plus important things like favourite pet, musical genre and what format I get most of my news from.
Result?
82% on the psychopathy scale.
I tried it again and got 79%.
My mom got 29%, a friend in the high twenties. Jellybean got 52%. Miz Leo in the mid seventies.
No one 82% so far.
So what does that mean? I'm three quarters of a psychopath masquerading as an empathic health professional? Oh, ok, that makes me feel a hell of a lot better.
I know why this is.
Everyone is hostile until proven otherwise.
Frightening to some of you I'm sure but at times its served me well. Should I be more open and honest with strangers? sure, and maybe if they offer me candy and I ride home in their car I should accept?
Ok, bit dramatic but you get the idea.
it takes a deal of patience for me to take to anyone at the moment. A long-term moment, I think it's my age. Or as Miz Em theorised the high grade on the psychopathy scale could be battle-fatigue. First noticed in serving military during conflict (hence the term) it's a state where the constant stress wrought on the individual educes something close to a psychotic state. irritability, inability to cope if crisis' occur, the progression from minor to major happens in a millisecond, and a complete lack of empathy for others in the surrounding area.
all I need now is Don McCullin to take a snapshot of me and I'll have the thousand-yard-stare down pat. :)
Or it could be Christmastime and all the bullshit that brings.
Ug.
no explanation necessary I think..
I think, like all things it's a mix. My feral-ness and the stress of the season. the knee supports, spraying opsite on my knuckles, the fist bumps, it's not a high-tea, crinolines and doilies kinda theatre dept right now (kind of why I love it) but the feeling of being under constant stretch is beginning to take its toll on me mentally I think. the 2 days off at Christmas cannot come soon enough.
and I've got to get writing my awards of the year 2013 too...
oh stuff it, I'm goin to bed..