timing could be better
waiting for my anti-viral software to run some kind of full scan thingy. hoping against hope that my laptop isn't about to keel over and die again. cos that would really suck, and what adds insult to injury is I was browsing a website about Bristol roller derby! not even doing anything REMOTELY dodgy, no just having a larf on roller-skates. this causes my laptop to f**k up!. unbelievable.
I am seriously tired here. :(
this time last week I was in bed waiting to go to London to see two very dear friends of mine.
it was a surreal day and a half to be sure, not made any easier by odd sporadic weather which rotationally shined and rained on us throughout, until we decided to stop pepper-potting from museum to covered market to café and grab the train back to Norwood where one of my friends lives.
drowned again. which was similar to back in 2004 when I got drowned coming out of college at E&C with the same friend and ended up crashing in her halls of residence and wearing her Indian trousers while mine pathetically tried to dry over her radiator.
London rain beats down harsh!! while we were waiting on the London Bridge platform it started whipping in sideways underneath the eves, causing everyone to run away from the platform's edge squealing. not knocking people who were doing it, I was doing it too.
then we had tea.
my friend's husband was out with their 18 month old. Z. but they came back, and Z gave me proper love from the onset!
now most of you know that any 18 month old is a handful. Z was no exception. beautiful, curious and energetic he doesn't believe in sleep, or not being able to do things. the only times he cried when I was there was when he was tired or couldn't do something.
it's nice for me to write this, because I was, for a long time, afraid of littles (my official designation for anyone under 15 years old, specifically anyone under 5 years old). for a variety of reasons, in Z's case because of my past. I'm tall, and clumsy, and for a long time didn't know my own strength. and I was just terrified of unintentionally hurting them. you can see how this plays into my "circus-freak" negativity in my head can't you?
But it was nice last weekend. My other friend has two daughters. so the baby talk wasn't unexpected. but I loved listening to it. it beats the blood n guts of my job, the movies/music/politics and sport that dominates my conversations with friends and family. I'm not saying babytalk is better, it's different and it makes me feel human and more connected to my two friends who are living with their families amazingly well, all things considered.
if you're reading this be assured from the opinion of the misfit currently writing this it's true. Xx
Heck just going back to London made me feel better. seeing my friends was the icing on the cake. it was sooooo different to Bristol. I hadn't seen these friends in almost 3 years. not since my trip to NYC in September 2010 when I got my most recent tattoo. time had passed but it took all of 5 seconds for the three of us to be together for me to feel comfortable, regain my groove and just enjoy. I know some of you might be thinking I'm making mountains out of molehills here. but in the winter of 2010 I got kicked out of Frenchay and had a month off with stress as a result. I'd been in S'mead's Coliseum since February 2011 and hadn't seen them since. Moving into my apartment in March that year, going to NYC on my own last year, birthdays, dates, spa visits, all this time had passed.
but in 5 seconds that was wiped away and it was like the three of us had just walked out of lectures on how to be good nurses and now wanted to nip down the SouthBank for something nice to eat.
Good memory.
made better now that my anti-viral software has purged my system, and it's not infected!!!!!
thank f**k for that!
And now I go to bed.
I am seriously tired here. :(
this time last week I was in bed waiting to go to London to see two very dear friends of mine.
it was a surreal day and a half to be sure, not made any easier by odd sporadic weather which rotationally shined and rained on us throughout, until we decided to stop pepper-potting from museum to covered market to café and grab the train back to Norwood where one of my friends lives.
drowned again. which was similar to back in 2004 when I got drowned coming out of college at E&C with the same friend and ended up crashing in her halls of residence and wearing her Indian trousers while mine pathetically tried to dry over her radiator.
London rain beats down harsh!! while we were waiting on the London Bridge platform it started whipping in sideways underneath the eves, causing everyone to run away from the platform's edge squealing. not knocking people who were doing it, I was doing it too.
then we had tea.
my friend's husband was out with their 18 month old. Z. but they came back, and Z gave me proper love from the onset!
now most of you know that any 18 month old is a handful. Z was no exception. beautiful, curious and energetic he doesn't believe in sleep, or not being able to do things. the only times he cried when I was there was when he was tired or couldn't do something.
it's nice for me to write this, because I was, for a long time, afraid of littles (my official designation for anyone under 15 years old, specifically anyone under 5 years old). for a variety of reasons, in Z's case because of my past. I'm tall, and clumsy, and for a long time didn't know my own strength. and I was just terrified of unintentionally hurting them. you can see how this plays into my "circus-freak" negativity in my head can't you?
But it was nice last weekend. My other friend has two daughters. so the baby talk wasn't unexpected. but I loved listening to it. it beats the blood n guts of my job, the movies/music/politics and sport that dominates my conversations with friends and family. I'm not saying babytalk is better, it's different and it makes me feel human and more connected to my two friends who are living with their families amazingly well, all things considered.
if you're reading this be assured from the opinion of the misfit currently writing this it's true. Xx
Heck just going back to London made me feel better. seeing my friends was the icing on the cake. it was sooooo different to Bristol. I hadn't seen these friends in almost 3 years. not since my trip to NYC in September 2010 when I got my most recent tattoo. time had passed but it took all of 5 seconds for the three of us to be together for me to feel comfortable, regain my groove and just enjoy. I know some of you might be thinking I'm making mountains out of molehills here. but in the winter of 2010 I got kicked out of Frenchay and had a month off with stress as a result. I'd been in S'mead's Coliseum since February 2011 and hadn't seen them since. Moving into my apartment in March that year, going to NYC on my own last year, birthdays, dates, spa visits, all this time had passed.
but in 5 seconds that was wiped away and it was like the three of us had just walked out of lectures on how to be good nurses and now wanted to nip down the SouthBank for something nice to eat.
Good memory.
made better now that my anti-viral software has purged my system, and it's not infected!!!!!
thank f**k for that!
And now I go to bed.