and what happened in reality.
ok. i'm back, alive, and i didn't kill anyone.
but i came close on the way there.
The plan was such:
Get to airport for 5am and book in.
Get plane to Dublin for 9am.
Get connection to JFK for 10.15 am.
Arrive in JFK at noon EST.
Good plan.
And in reality this happened.
Get to airport for 5am and book in.
Get Starbucks and sit for a few hours, then see FOG. Fog has a habit of blanketing Bristol airport. Actually that's the reason behind its existence. it was created circa WW2 to train pilots to land in foggy conditions. They had a lot of training. Great for training pilots, awful for commercial air-travel that has to run like clockwork.
First our flight is delayed, then delayed some more, then abandoned altogether.
We pick up our bags from the terminal and go back to the Info desk outside.
Did you notice there are NO info desks inside airport terminals? none. so if something goes wrong, who the hell do you ask? good question. moving on...
Info people tell us we have to get a cab to Cardiff airport to get a plane to Dublin. That means everyone going to JFK will miss the connection but the staff were working on that.
What they weren't working on was the taxi needed to Cardiff. No they wouldn't supply a coach, No the wouldn't pay for taxis.
So three of us chipped in, costing us £40 each for the £120 quid fare from Bristol to Cardiff.
Good news was we'd make the 12pm flight to Dublin. Bad news was we'd miss the 1pm flight from Dublin to JFK.
Make it to Cardiff, go through checks again, hang out in terminal eating. i have now been up since 3am, and instead of being nestled under a blanket watching The Avengers I am stuck in an airport terminal eating a danish and drinking coffee and trying to stay positive. It's difficult.
And it gets worse when i see the plane.
"It's not a plane, it's a canoe with wings!"
the quote comes from Commando (Arnie movie of the eighties), but the feeling was identical.
The connecting flight from Air Arran (Irish not Jordanian, but from the state of the plane there wasn't much between them) was a twin-prop plane which was wide enough to hold 4 passengers and a small gangway between. Smoking, deafening noise from the engines and the rocking that took place ON THE TARMAC! due to the high wind and the flimsy feel of the airplane all added up to give me the distinct impression of "Oh shit, we're all gonna die!"
But I got on board and after a bit of buffeting we managed to get airbourne.
45 minutes later we belly-flopped into Dublin...
and, for some insane reason couldn't walk through the terminals. after landing in Terminal 1 i had to get to Terminal 2 for the USA flight. But despite the buildings being physcially connected I had to walk out of the terminal, 200 yards down the road and back into the SAME BUILDING from a different entrance.
I'm getting grr at this point.
It was a gimme we'd missed the 1pm flight, now we have to get the 4.30pm flight to JFK.
I should have been in New York by now, and the fact wasn't lost on the half a dozen people like me, all in the same boat, all losing time in New York (business and pleasure) for the sake of fog.
Get ticket, go through checks for a 3rd time (i got really good at unlooping my belt one handed) and collapse in terminal.
Only what was supposed to be a 45 minute wait was now close to the 3 hour mark. and i had no euros. ok.
i held out for about 90 minutes before giving in, getting euros and buying a burger. remember i haven't eaten anything substantial since 3am, it's now 3pm. danishes just aren't cutting it anymore.
finally we get on board the plane to JFK. Big, with tv screens and free food I get curled up and comfy around 5pm.
in fact i'm so tired at this point I sleep through takeoff.
and wake up and scare people around me by asking "Are we airbourne yet?"
we were. I saw The Avengers, not bad for a second viewing.
and an interesting documentary on Marvel's Stan Lee.
but i also sleep for a good two hours, we were approaching midnight UK time when we get over US airspace.
and when we start doing donuts on account of the weather I start to get a little emotional. is this journey ever going to end???
rain was lashing New York and it made it hard for the planes to land apparently. Heck, least it wasn't fog...
Finally we land, taxi and get off the plane.
anyone ever been through JFK immigration? it's THE WORST in the world on quite a few Top Ten lists. and with us it was no exception, mainly due to it's appalling layout and system.
But international travellers go through faster than Americans and the good news is our plane was the first of 4 to land (due to the weather) so we were at the front of the queue that assumed biblical proportions as I was going through passport control. Ha! take that immigration!!
Got to know a guy on the journey who was going to NYC on business. sitting next to each other the entire trip (on account we both had cancelled flights on the missed connections) we chatted and decided to share a cab out from the airport to the LES (Lower East Side) of Manhattan.
He could charge the $50 cab ride to his company which was fine with me, and when we dropped him off first it only cost me $10 to get the cab to go from West Broadway to East Broadway and drop me off in the heart of Chinatown.
Hotel 91.
a flophouse, that charged rooms by the hour as well as by the day.
and with a room that was tiny and next to the bridge going off the Island it was never quiet. but i had earplugs and being next to the bridge meant it was impossible for me to get lost if i ever wanted to get back to the hotel, just walk towards the bridge, can't miss it.
I finally got into my room at 9pm EST.
I went over the 24 hour mark standing in line for immigration.
unsurprisingly I didn't "stay up for as long as I could to avoid jet lag" i just curled up on the bed and watched the college football on espn.
and slept. despite the regular rumbling, shaking and squeaking of the subway outside.
but i came close on the way there.
The plan was such:
Get to airport for 5am and book in.
Get plane to Dublin for 9am.
Get connection to JFK for 10.15 am.
Arrive in JFK at noon EST.
Good plan.
And in reality this happened.
Get to airport for 5am and book in.
Get Starbucks and sit for a few hours, then see FOG. Fog has a habit of blanketing Bristol airport. Actually that's the reason behind its existence. it was created circa WW2 to train pilots to land in foggy conditions. They had a lot of training. Great for training pilots, awful for commercial air-travel that has to run like clockwork.
First our flight is delayed, then delayed some more, then abandoned altogether.
We pick up our bags from the terminal and go back to the Info desk outside.
Did you notice there are NO info desks inside airport terminals? none. so if something goes wrong, who the hell do you ask? good question. moving on...
Info people tell us we have to get a cab to Cardiff airport to get a plane to Dublin. That means everyone going to JFK will miss the connection but the staff were working on that.
What they weren't working on was the taxi needed to Cardiff. No they wouldn't supply a coach, No the wouldn't pay for taxis.
So three of us chipped in, costing us £40 each for the £120 quid fare from Bristol to Cardiff.
Good news was we'd make the 12pm flight to Dublin. Bad news was we'd miss the 1pm flight from Dublin to JFK.
Make it to Cardiff, go through checks again, hang out in terminal eating. i have now been up since 3am, and instead of being nestled under a blanket watching The Avengers I am stuck in an airport terminal eating a danish and drinking coffee and trying to stay positive. It's difficult.
And it gets worse when i see the plane.
"It's not a plane, it's a canoe with wings!"
the quote comes from Commando (Arnie movie of the eighties), but the feeling was identical.
The connecting flight from Air Arran (Irish not Jordanian, but from the state of the plane there wasn't much between them) was a twin-prop plane which was wide enough to hold 4 passengers and a small gangway between. Smoking, deafening noise from the engines and the rocking that took place ON THE TARMAC! due to the high wind and the flimsy feel of the airplane all added up to give me the distinct impression of "Oh shit, we're all gonna die!"
But I got on board and after a bit of buffeting we managed to get airbourne.
45 minutes later we belly-flopped into Dublin...
and, for some insane reason couldn't walk through the terminals. after landing in Terminal 1 i had to get to Terminal 2 for the USA flight. But despite the buildings being physcially connected I had to walk out of the terminal, 200 yards down the road and back into the SAME BUILDING from a different entrance.
I'm getting grr at this point.
It was a gimme we'd missed the 1pm flight, now we have to get the 4.30pm flight to JFK.
I should have been in New York by now, and the fact wasn't lost on the half a dozen people like me, all in the same boat, all losing time in New York (business and pleasure) for the sake of fog.
Get ticket, go through checks for a 3rd time (i got really good at unlooping my belt one handed) and collapse in terminal.
Only what was supposed to be a 45 minute wait was now close to the 3 hour mark. and i had no euros. ok.
i held out for about 90 minutes before giving in, getting euros and buying a burger. remember i haven't eaten anything substantial since 3am, it's now 3pm. danishes just aren't cutting it anymore.
finally we get on board the plane to JFK. Big, with tv screens and free food I get curled up and comfy around 5pm.
in fact i'm so tired at this point I sleep through takeoff.
and wake up and scare people around me by asking "Are we airbourne yet?"
we were. I saw The Avengers, not bad for a second viewing.
and an interesting documentary on Marvel's Stan Lee.
but i also sleep for a good two hours, we were approaching midnight UK time when we get over US airspace.
and when we start doing donuts on account of the weather I start to get a little emotional. is this journey ever going to end???
rain was lashing New York and it made it hard for the planes to land apparently. Heck, least it wasn't fog...
Finally we land, taxi and get off the plane.
anyone ever been through JFK immigration? it's THE WORST in the world on quite a few Top Ten lists. and with us it was no exception, mainly due to it's appalling layout and system.
But international travellers go through faster than Americans and the good news is our plane was the first of 4 to land (due to the weather) so we were at the front of the queue that assumed biblical proportions as I was going through passport control. Ha! take that immigration!!
Got to know a guy on the journey who was going to NYC on business. sitting next to each other the entire trip (on account we both had cancelled flights on the missed connections) we chatted and decided to share a cab out from the airport to the LES (Lower East Side) of Manhattan.
He could charge the $50 cab ride to his company which was fine with me, and when we dropped him off first it only cost me $10 to get the cab to go from West Broadway to East Broadway and drop me off in the heart of Chinatown.
Hotel 91.
a flophouse, that charged rooms by the hour as well as by the day.
and with a room that was tiny and next to the bridge going off the Island it was never quiet. but i had earplugs and being next to the bridge meant it was impossible for me to get lost if i ever wanted to get back to the hotel, just walk towards the bridge, can't miss it.
I finally got into my room at 9pm EST.
I went over the 24 hour mark standing in line for immigration.
unsurprisingly I didn't "stay up for as long as I could to avoid jet lag" i just curled up on the bed and watched the college football on espn.
and slept. despite the regular rumbling, shaking and squeaking of the subway outside.