you are not a beautiful and unique snowflake
i know life can get boring at times, especially people of my age who sometimes see the world as nothing but a "work, sleep, repeat" scenario. But bloody hell... i swear i didn't see this one coming.
Monday morning, I get into work after having a very nice week off and am greeted with the following from the nurse in charge.
"What time d'you call this?"
Stunned, my reply is "Sister?" as in 'What the frick are you talking about???'
"You were supposed to be in at 7am. Your off-duty says 7am. You're on the long day today".
Long day. Of course no-one told me about this and as I was off on annual leave the previous week I couldn't see the off-duty AND the off-duty wasn't presented the week before when I was in work.
I try and tell her this but she's having none of it.
"You should have called in to find out your hours".
On my annual leave???? What if I had been in America? Or the Andes? Is it too much to ask that someone does the off-duty more than 1 week prior to it occurring?
"Anyway, as you are now half an hour late you're on til 9pm".
7.30am til 9pm.
And I have food for maybe half that.
And the attitude I face from this Sister in charge is less than cordial.
Anyway, the day begins and goes as per normal. I end up scrubbing for a big open laporotomy in the afternoon which is fun and a challenge and I enjoy it.
But when 5pm comes and people start looking at the clock and i know I can't leave it starts to grind. We do cases to help out other theatres. Because, for some inexplicable reason we have a three-session day booked but no 3rd big case to do it in. So we're left scrounging for cases to keep ourselves busy and justify our own presence.
By half past seven we're getting ratty with each other because we're all starting to feel tired. For some reason the evening meal break never occurs and that adds hunger on top of everything else. My feet are starting to throb, my brain is beginning to run on auto-pilot and it really is becoming the case of survival by learned behaviour rather than reacting with a reasonable modicum of problem-solving intelligence.
Finally, at half-seven we finish. Sister in charge then tells me that I can go home but I must take time back.
I don't mind taking the time back, I have it to take, and have done so in the past. But I'm exhausted and she uses the word "must".
I don't like the word 'must. Unless it's a matter of life and death in my job 'must' gets everyone's backs up. Me especially.
So I replied no. It was like she'd misheard me.
"No. I refuse".
I went on to explain that my time is precious to me. I should decided when I take my time back. In this case I still have an hour and a half to go and I will work that hour and a half. And with that I staggered off to Main Theatres to help out the late crew.
In the end I hauled kit back to Urology that Main had borrowed and went home. Taking an hour back of my own time in the process.
I know some of you reading this (does anyone read this anymore anyway?) will think me bratty and childish. To this I have two answers:
1> I had been working since 7.30am that day, often full-pelt, I have had very little food over that day, and have been standing for 5 hours in the afternoon for the major case of the day. which is both physically challenging and mentally draining.
2> It is principle to me not to take orders blindly without good rationale behind them. I'm not a robot nor a nazi, I was trained via the nursing program over 3 years to question everything in terms of patient well-being. now i am the patient, I fight for what I feel is the best deal for me in those circumstances.
2.a> I am also a bratty 4-year old when I am tired and hungry. This is truth, this is also why in all likelihood I will never have children.
I went home then, had rice pudding for tea (a shout-out to my college days) and staggered into bed after a shower. Sleep was very difficult as I was in agony with my feet, back, shoulders, and right hip. In reality i really was "too tired to sleep". It is a contradiction but it also can be so real it is untrue.
I also had to drag my butt back into work for 7.30am the following morning. How I walked to work sleep-deprived and stiff I'll never know. But it was for only half a day with a sympathetic colleague and good surgeons and when I came home I was so mentally defeated I went and had a bath, my mom came round an hour later and found me still in the tub.
Now it is thursday. I have one whole day tomorrow and then the weekend. and then AGAIN I am on a 7am-8.30pm shift on the Monday.
This long-day situation is (i'm told) a trial only. for now. I don't know how long it's running for but I do know when we get the chance to write our own opinions of the matter at the end I will be honest at how I have found such a day.
If the Powers That Be don't like that? Well, they shouldn't ask for open feedback.
As I said before: I am not a Nazi.
Monday morning, I get into work after having a very nice week off and am greeted with the following from the nurse in charge.
"What time d'you call this?"
Stunned, my reply is "Sister?" as in 'What the frick are you talking about???'
"You were supposed to be in at 7am. Your off-duty says 7am. You're on the long day today".
Long day. Of course no-one told me about this and as I was off on annual leave the previous week I couldn't see the off-duty AND the off-duty wasn't presented the week before when I was in work.
I try and tell her this but she's having none of it.
"You should have called in to find out your hours".
On my annual leave???? What if I had been in America? Or the Andes? Is it too much to ask that someone does the off-duty more than 1 week prior to it occurring?
"Anyway, as you are now half an hour late you're on til 9pm".
7.30am til 9pm.
And I have food for maybe half that.
And the attitude I face from this Sister in charge is less than cordial.
Anyway, the day begins and goes as per normal. I end up scrubbing for a big open laporotomy in the afternoon which is fun and a challenge and I enjoy it.
But when 5pm comes and people start looking at the clock and i know I can't leave it starts to grind. We do cases to help out other theatres. Because, for some inexplicable reason we have a three-session day booked but no 3rd big case to do it in. So we're left scrounging for cases to keep ourselves busy and justify our own presence.
By half past seven we're getting ratty with each other because we're all starting to feel tired. For some reason the evening meal break never occurs and that adds hunger on top of everything else. My feet are starting to throb, my brain is beginning to run on auto-pilot and it really is becoming the case of survival by learned behaviour rather than reacting with a reasonable modicum of problem-solving intelligence.
Finally, at half-seven we finish. Sister in charge then tells me that I can go home but I must take time back.
I don't mind taking the time back, I have it to take, and have done so in the past. But I'm exhausted and she uses the word "must".
I don't like the word 'must. Unless it's a matter of life and death in my job 'must' gets everyone's backs up. Me especially.
So I replied no. It was like she'd misheard me.
"No. I refuse".
I went on to explain that my time is precious to me. I should decided when I take my time back. In this case I still have an hour and a half to go and I will work that hour and a half. And with that I staggered off to Main Theatres to help out the late crew.
In the end I hauled kit back to Urology that Main had borrowed and went home. Taking an hour back of my own time in the process.
I know some of you reading this (does anyone read this anymore anyway?) will think me bratty and childish. To this I have two answers:
1> I had been working since 7.30am that day, often full-pelt, I have had very little food over that day, and have been standing for 5 hours in the afternoon for the major case of the day. which is both physically challenging and mentally draining.
2> It is principle to me not to take orders blindly without good rationale behind them. I'm not a robot nor a nazi, I was trained via the nursing program over 3 years to question everything in terms of patient well-being. now i am the patient, I fight for what I feel is the best deal for me in those circumstances.
2.a> I am also a bratty 4-year old when I am tired and hungry. This is truth, this is also why in all likelihood I will never have children.
I went home then, had rice pudding for tea (a shout-out to my college days) and staggered into bed after a shower. Sleep was very difficult as I was in agony with my feet, back, shoulders, and right hip. In reality i really was "too tired to sleep". It is a contradiction but it also can be so real it is untrue.
I also had to drag my butt back into work for 7.30am the following morning. How I walked to work sleep-deprived and stiff I'll never know. But it was for only half a day with a sympathetic colleague and good surgeons and when I came home I was so mentally defeated I went and had a bath, my mom came round an hour later and found me still in the tub.
Now it is thursday. I have one whole day tomorrow and then the weekend. and then AGAIN I am on a 7am-8.30pm shift on the Monday.
This long-day situation is (i'm told) a trial only. for now. I don't know how long it's running for but I do know when we get the chance to write our own opinions of the matter at the end I will be honest at how I have found such a day.
If the Powers That Be don't like that? Well, they shouldn't ask for open feedback.
As I said before: I am not a Nazi.