those who are about to blitz salut you!
I had a lot of nightmares last week, the week from hell as mentioned in the previous post. although if i'm honest it wasn't that bad in the grand scheme of things. it was only work; nothing flooded, blew up, got invaded or fell down. no one died or got assaulted or declared their love for a third party (ruining a 20 year marriage in the process). It was just work.
But I had nightmares during the week and that made the work, specifically the thursday a trial. Not only was a affected from the dreams but I had to wrestle with the sleep-deprivation too and several times my friends in work - who are also my own quasi-support network - were asking me if i was feeling ok given my haunted, spaced-out black-eyed look.
I'm better now, I had two really good night's sleep over the last few days. But I'm still dreaming.
Last night for example I can't remember the exact details but it involved keeping the demons away by singing and the only thing I could think of as I was running through a forest with others trying to keep the clawed n' toothed hordes back was the Soviet national anthem!
I hum this on a regular basis in work so it isn't that surprising it was in my dreams but it was still oddly surreal to be belting out the anthem (it's on youtube) in my dreams. did the trick though and I wasn't demon food.
I had my highlights done yesterday - this week has been my week off btw - so i'm now what i'm calling myself as "savage blonde". Not dirty "mongrel blonde" but aryan blonde. and curly. thanks to the tongs.
which really made what happened next ironic. i was sitting in my favorite non-franchised coffee house, called 'The Russian' in our family on account of the people who run it. and this little 4 year old girl outed me.
EH?
I don't know how that happened, especially when the girl's father and grandma were correcting her repeatedly saying "No.. she's a lady" (ugg.. hate that word!) but this little girl was adamant. which i found really odd and freaky.
Are little 4 year old girls like shamans in Angel? they can sense people like me when we're near? it's (mad) thought to ponder..
i'm cooking as I write this. literally!!
the winter sun's so low it's coming directly through my windows and lighting me up. it's getting really hot behind this glass!
sunburn??
Work is okay, but I'm still a little wary. I'm hoping when we have our holiday meals in december it can get me a little better to feel comfortable with my colleagues. I'm ok 70% of the time but I'm still wary, but I'm wary around people as it is. Those who aren't family or I haven't known for a long time I don't really warm to until I've seen them in 'all weathers'. this makes meeting new people really tricky for me but as I grow older (not up, if i can help it) I'm hoping these feelings might smooth out into something more easier to digest when it comes to strangers.
I say this in full mind of the fact that I have to travel to Glasgow, Scotland on the 18th November for a 3 day LGBT conference. Last year was an effing disaster, but that could be because it was freezing, the apartment when I was staying was virtually a shit-hole and I was off for a month from work with diagnosed stress.
Now it should be better, as long as I can get through the airport here in Bristol without too much trouble and keep chatty with my 3 other union members who are going up with me. And keep warm cos currently it is BITTERLY COLD in Scotland and come the end of November it'll only be worse.
and now I'm going for coffee and honey cake leftovers from New Year.
But I had nightmares during the week and that made the work, specifically the thursday a trial. Not only was a affected from the dreams but I had to wrestle with the sleep-deprivation too and several times my friends in work - who are also my own quasi-support network - were asking me if i was feeling ok given my haunted, spaced-out black-eyed look.
I'm better now, I had two really good night's sleep over the last few days. But I'm still dreaming.
Last night for example I can't remember the exact details but it involved keeping the demons away by singing and the only thing I could think of as I was running through a forest with others trying to keep the clawed n' toothed hordes back was the Soviet national anthem!
I hum this on a regular basis in work so it isn't that surprising it was in my dreams but it was still oddly surreal to be belting out the anthem (it's on youtube) in my dreams. did the trick though and I wasn't demon food.
I had my highlights done yesterday - this week has been my week off btw - so i'm now what i'm calling myself as "savage blonde". Not dirty "mongrel blonde" but aryan blonde. and curly. thanks to the tongs.
which really made what happened next ironic. i was sitting in my favorite non-franchised coffee house, called 'The Russian' in our family on account of the people who run it. and this little 4 year old girl outed me.
EH?
I don't know how that happened, especially when the girl's father and grandma were correcting her repeatedly saying "No.. she's a lady" (ugg.. hate that word!) but this little girl was adamant. which i found really odd and freaky.
Are little 4 year old girls like shamans in Angel? they can sense people like me when we're near? it's (mad) thought to ponder..
i'm cooking as I write this. literally!!
the winter sun's so low it's coming directly through my windows and lighting me up. it's getting really hot behind this glass!
sunburn??
Work is okay, but I'm still a little wary. I'm hoping when we have our holiday meals in december it can get me a little better to feel comfortable with my colleagues. I'm ok 70% of the time but I'm still wary, but I'm wary around people as it is. Those who aren't family or I haven't known for a long time I don't really warm to until I've seen them in 'all weathers'. this makes meeting new people really tricky for me but as I grow older (not up, if i can help it) I'm hoping these feelings might smooth out into something more easier to digest when it comes to strangers.
I say this in full mind of the fact that I have to travel to Glasgow, Scotland on the 18th November for a 3 day LGBT conference. Last year was an effing disaster, but that could be because it was freezing, the apartment when I was staying was virtually a shit-hole and I was off for a month from work with diagnosed stress.
Now it should be better, as long as I can get through the airport here in Bristol without too much trouble and keep chatty with my 3 other union members who are going up with me. And keep warm cos currently it is BITTERLY COLD in Scotland and come the end of November it'll only be worse.
and now I'm going for coffee and honey cake leftovers from New Year.