where the ffffffff is my rape whistle?
My thoughts today when creepy "I'm from Wisconsin" college boy came to my door and asked me if my parents were home. NO ONE LIVES IN WISCONSIN ANYMORE! IT'S A TRAP! He's all "I have a survey for you to fill out" and all my brain yelled was "AND BY SURVEY HE MEANS DICK AND BY FILL OUT HE MEANS DEEP THROAT JFKSDLF".
Wisconsin: So are either of your parents home?
Me: ... uh, no.
Wisconsin: Oh, well when will they be back?
Me: ... l-later. My dad will get here around 7...
Wisconsin: Alright, well I'll stop by later.
Me: Sounds good... we'll see you later? [goes to close door]
Wisconsin: Uh, before you do that, you wouldn't happen to have some... Gatorade or lemonade or something, would you? It's really hot out here.
Me: Y-Yeah, I'll be right back. [slams door and gets some ice water]
Wisconsin: [waits patiently]
Me: [hands glass over] Um here. You can just leave the glass over there when you're done.
Wisconsin: Alright. Thank you.
Me: [shuts door and RUNS FOR THE KNIFE DRAWER]
Why yes, I did watch TV with a cleaver in my hand for the next 4 hours. I WAS SO AFRAID HE'D LIKE... BURST THROUGH THE WINDOW BEHIND ME AND RAPE ME.
And now I'm going back to doing crunches while waiting for So You Think You Can Dance comes out of commercial. WHO KNEW RACHEL RAY WOULD GIVE ME SUCH A GREAT IDEA?
ETA: Oh lol my dad and I are going to the Phillies game now