Round Two

[deviantcommand]

When I got sent down here for this job, playing fucking shrink and relationship guru sure as hell wasn't in the job description.

There are reasons why I avoid all this complicated relationship mess and stick with Mr. Right Now over Mr. Right. But, that's not for everyone if certain people would only do us a favor and pull their heads out of their

Comments

[crimsonkure]

Did anyone ask you to step in and play savior for my life and my relationship? If so, was it me? I don't remember ever asking such a thing of you, so I doubt it.

Long story short you're not my mom so it's not your place to decide what's best for me. I appreciate the little sister act in a way, but stop acting like people are making you go out of your way when you chose to.

[deviantcommand]

Nope, but no one else has the balls to tell you when you're being a complete ninny. Or to tell you what a shitty thing it is to use your father's passing as your excuse for trying to 'save' everyone from your wretched presence.

I know I'm not, and it's a good thing because I would have snatched you by the hair by now.

[crimsonkure]

That's true, nobody has balls like yours. They're so big they clang when you walk. Ninny? Wow, that's a new one. You seriously think that I'm using my father's death as an excuse? That I'd dishonor him in such a way? Fuck you, don't talk to me anymore.

You really don't know me nearly as well as you seem to think you do, though that's not surprising.

[deviantcommand]

Truth hurts, doesn't it? A little insecurity is all well and good until you've decided whats best for everyone else while slitting your own throat. But it doesn't change the fact that you're using your Dad's death as a crutch to run away. Real smooth, there.

I know you well enough to know that you're going to regret it all later. That's what matters here.

[crimsonkure]

That's right Anko, you know me oh so well.

[deviantcommand]

You know, what? Fine. Go ahead and pack your shit and run. I'm tired of the headache and wasting my breath. And as much as I'd like to say don't let the door bang you in the ass on the way out, I refuse to stoop to your level.

When you finally realize what an ass you're being, and how this time it's all on you being the fuck up with no one else to blame it on but yourself? I'll still be around. Maybe not necessarily here here since hopefully this job is wrapping up, but you know how to get a hold of me.

[crimsonkure]

Perhaps if you'd stop you'd realize that I haven't gone anywhere. I haven't 'dumped' Havoc like some errant teenager looking for attention - I simply brought up the possibility that he might be happier with someone else and that if he feels he would be now is the time for him to do it. If he does, I'll deal. If not, we move on.

When you finally stop acting like we're still in high school, which you do continually, then I'll hope you realize that there has never been a single event in my life that I have regretted. Things might not always work out for the best but I'm doing what I feel is best for me and that's all I can do. If the time comes and I'm left to deal with myself alone I will survive, I have before and I made it this far.

[deviantcommand]

Yeah, and you keep offering him outs that he's not taken yet. Keep doing it and eventually he's going to do it since it's obvious that you're so willing to let him go.

I realize we're not in high school anymore, because if were I would have just mopped the floor with your ass by now. With age and life even I've learned a little bit of patience and a reign on my temper. You might not have yet, but there will come a time when you do regret something. Anyone who says otherwise are only lying to themselves.

[crimsonkure]

I know, but I honestly don't know what else to do and I don't want him to feel trapped. I'd much rather he live his life the way he wants to without my baggage and drama than stay with me and end up miserable. There had to be a reason Sarutobi kept running off, and it all comes back to me.

...I suppose I regret that I never confronted him about that, but it's in the past and nothing can change it. That's the thing Anko, regretting something doesn't change that it happened and it doesn't help you get over it. I just accept that I fucked up and move on, it makes it a lot easier.

[deviantcommand]

Asuma was extenuating circumstances and his own idiocy - and you know it. If there was something wrong with you, he would have said something, you two would have worked out and things would have been fine - and if he wouldn't, I would have. Just like I am now. But I'm not going to bend over backwards for someone who is so hellbent on self destruction. I've got better things to do then watch my best friend and the closest thing to family that I've got act like that.

It might not change what's happened, but you should at least learn from previous mistakes to avoid making them again. And that sort of regret should only make you realize how special the things that you have now, truly are.

[crimsonkure]

He left me, twice. I'd be able to cope if it was just once, but as soon as he found out he had been presumed dead he should have at least sent a letter! Why would he have said something either way, he had obviously made up his mind that leaving me behind was a perfectly fine option. What makes you think I'm hellbent on self-destruction? Did you see me throw myself in the fire with my father? Besides, when have you ever bent over backwards without promise of something being in it for you? I kid...

Yeah...good point.

[deviantcommand]

I'm not making excuses for him, only that he's an idiot for the way he handled things. You make it sound like he did what he did to get away from you, not that there weren't other factors involved. If the dumbass had left you on the basis of not loving you, do you really think he would have come back the way he did? He should have let you know he was ok sooner, even if he was trying to deal with things after getting back. But it was never anything against you. Even I knew that without him having to clarify it.

Secluding yourself off from everyone and shoving everyone away is pretty damned close to self-destruction. Close enough that me being pissed off doesn't need to make the distinct difference.

I can assure you I'm not continuing this discussion for my health, that's for damned sure.

[crimsonkure]

I know you're not, I wasn't attempting to imply that you were. I was simply making a point. I'm sure there were other factors involved, but since they all sound more like excuses than solid, logical fact they're hard for me to swallow. If he had left me because he did love me then why bother coming back at all? Furthermore, why bother leaving? When you love someone you should be able to work through things, shouldn't you? You may have known that, but you get the luxury of a different perspective.

Secluding myself from everyone except Ryuzaki is impossible, I'd still have to work with you people and see others all over the city, and contrary to my grand proclamations moving to Hawaii is just as hard as trying to convince Ryuzaki to move a few blocks away.

I didn't think you were, though I admit to being somewhat amazed that it seems you're really pushing for me to stay with Havoc. I'd have thought you'd let me dig my hole and then made Asuma comfort me like you know he's so good at.

[deviantcommand]

Yeah, and you're bullheaded enough not hear anything but what you want to with it. This whole fucked up scenario is still hurting my brain, but all I can say is I know how much you two meant to one another which is my whole basis for being so clusterfucked with Jean. But only you and Asuma can straighten it out between you two. I'm standing down from this one because all it seems to be earning me is the typical 'It's none of your business', which I know in reality its not, but I don't see either of you running to rectify it either.

If you really wanted to, I don't put it past you. You'd find a way somehow.

That would have been the easy way, but it would cheapen my victory. Plus I've already dug my own grave with the bastard and have pretty much conceded that as long as he doesn't fuck up, I've got no problem with Jean. So yeah. Take that as you will.

[crimsonkure]

It's a family trait, I get it from my mom just like my horrible middle name and my amazing hair. We did mean a lot to each other, I'd be lying if I said he doesn't still mean a lot to me. Still, it's something we'll probably never work out between us since that's the only thing keeping me from doing something that might just ruin years of moving on. Let's just leave it at that.

Too much effort. I could find a way if it were just me, but it's not and I'd hate to disrupt Ryuzaki's comfort zone.

...I really don't know how to take that. I think I'm shocked. Actually, I kind of feel sick. Wow.

[deviantcommand]

Yeah, feel my pain. You've got no idea what it did to my ego to say as much to him. So safe to say, if you two break up any time soon, I'm going to track the both of you down and beat the fuck out of you both on principle.