(no subject)
i'm getting depressed again. today i didn't go to school because i didn't finish my homework last night and accidentally fell asleep. i really didn't think my dad would let me stay home but he did and i would have been so ridiculously screwed if i didn't. i planned to write my english paper, finish bio, and do my physics but that didn't happen. i ended up sleeping most of the day, which felt really good because last weekend i didn't even get a chance to sleep in to catch up on the lack of sleep from last week.
i went over to derek's house before rehearsal. it was sooo nice to spend actual time with him. i guess rosemary said i can come over whenever i want now. i wanted to stay there forever. derek was more affectionate than usual today too, probably because we weren't in public, but either way it makes me really happy and i feel loved. then my car wouldn't start. i think it was because god wanted me to stay with derek...but then he jumped it and i left.
rehearsal just killed my day. nothing particularly bad happened at first, i was just upset from going from somewhere so wonderful to a place that is so shitty. pekar bitch whore face made me and sydney come in at 4:30 to "practice bringing out the house where the spikes are" but that was completely unnecessary because when i got there she was just like, see these pieces of tape? bring the house out to here. duh. the only reason why we didn't was because no one told us they spiked it. so on top of the 6 hours she was already going to waste of my life, she wasted an extra half hour. i hate my wig too! it makes me mad because it looks so stupid and the bangs get really messy and fall into my eyes. the rest of the wig looks just like my hair anyway except messier so i don't see why i have to wear it. people get bossy and i fucking hate them. you are not on fucking broadway and just because you've done several or even one show previously, you are not the boss and you don't always know what you're doing. i'm sick of fucking junior bitches trying to boss people around. you're ugly and annoying so shut the fuck up! now what really made me want to light the whole cast on fire was notes. it was late to begin with and all i wanted to do was go home but no, you all had to ask stupid fucking questions, most of which did not have anything to do with anyone else, and make stupid comments about everything. NO ONE CARES WHAT YOU HAVE TO SAY. and stop sucking up to the bitch queen! i never told people not to come to the show but it really does suck. it may look good as a performance but it has been the worst musical experience and the whole cast except for a very select few have been bitching about it for a while. pekar makes it miserable and brown nosers are just as evil. notes took over a half hour. i didn't get home until after eleven. i hate you all. i didn't write a bio because i don't want one. i don't care enough. please take the magic beans and shove them up your ass.