Ass Bats are back
Jen and I made this quiz last year. Goth people don't have sticks up their butts, they have bats. Take this quiz to see how many bats you have up your butt. Basically see how goth you are. Take a point for every question you answer yes to. There are 100 question. ex. 87 out of 100 = 8.7 Ass Bats. Take the quiz and post a comment and tell me how many Ass Bats you have.
AssBat Test
Part 1: Music
1. Do you go to goth clubs?
2. Do you listen to the same music you hear at the club at home?
3. Do you have the music before the DJ?
4. Are you the DJ?
5. Are you very critical of other goth people's music?
6. Have you ever stumped other people with your goth music knowledge?
7. Have you ever stumped the DJ?
8. Have you ever wanted to DJ?
9. Do you judge goth clubs by their DJ's?
10. Have you ever traveled out of state just to see a band/hear a DJ?
11. Have you ever told someone that their band/music stinks (because you know what good music is)?
12. When someone says that Good Charlotte is real punk (or My Chemical Romance is goth, etc.), do you really want to kick their head in?
13. Have you ever given someone a mix CD as a token of affection in a club?
Part 2: Clubs
1. Have you ever dated more than one person at a goth club?
2. Do you know more than five people at a goth club?
3. Do you know the DJs?
4. Do you know DJs at multiple clubs?
5. Do you know the bartenders?
6. Have you ever traveled out of state just to go to another club?
7. Have you ever made fun of someone's dancing?
8. Have you ever made fun of someone's outfit?
9. Do you have a "club name"?
10. Have you ever hit someone while dancing (accidentally)?
11. Have you ever sat in a corner of the club all night drinking and being judgmental?
12. Have you ever waited all night to dance to one of your favorite songs, only to be joined by 20 people on the dance floor?
13. Have you ever said, "I'm not goth, I'm (rivet/graver/romantigoth/cyber/etc)"?
14. Have you ever told anyone you were a faerie/wolf/werewolf/vampire/etc, and it wasn't Halloween?
15. Do you own your own DJ equipment?
16. Do you ever practice?
17. Do you only smoke cloves because they match your outfit?
18. Do you smoke cloves outside of the club?
19. Have you ever told anyone you were a famous mythological/historical person, for example: Mina Harker/Dracula/Lord Byron/Queen Titania?
20. Do you drink red wine and pretend you're drinking blood?
21. Have you ever worn a slave collar hoping someone would take you home as a slave?
22. Have you ever carried a flogger hoping someone would ask to be beaten?
Part 3: Lifestyle
1. Is your wardrobe more than 50% black?
2. Do you have multiple piercings (more than the standard ear piercings)?
3. Do you have any tattoos?
4. Do you wear makeup in nonstandard colors (red, black) or glitter?
5. Have you ever worn hair extensions?
6. Do you have boots with a platform of over one inch?
7. Do you have any non-fabric clothing (metal chains, vinyl, rubber)?
8. Do you have a corset (this counts for men too!)?
9. Is your house/room usually kept dark?
10. Do you have over five candles in one room?
11. Have you ever been a model, even if it was just for a friend/website/etc?
12. Do you own The Crow (the book, not the movie!)?
13. Do you have any dried flowers on display in your house?
14. Do you have any decorations that involve skulls, rats, dragons or ravens?
15. Do you own anything with Jack Skellington (or Sally, or Lock, Shock & Barrel) on it?
16. Have you ever driven or ridden in a hearse?
17. Ever wanted to own a hearse?
18. Do you actually own a hearse?
19. Do you have a job that lets you sleep late and stay up late?
20. Do you work retail?
21. Have you done something strange to your hair (Guys, is your hair past your shoulders? Girls, is your head half-shaved? Both, is it a color that doesn't occur in nature?)?
22. Do you have specific eyewear just for the club (goggles, glasses, or contacts)?
23. Does your LiveJournal/MySpace/Blog have a black background or a special (more "goth") background?
24. Does the background involve dead animals or plants?
25. Have you ever ordered clothing online?
26. Have you ever ordered clothing from an obscure British/German/Japanese site/designer because nothing else was good enough and someone else might be wearing it?
27. Do you own any issues of "Gothic & Lolita Bible"?
28. Have you ever tried to design or make your own club clothes?
29. If you have goggles, have you ever worn them instead of sunglasses?
30. Has anyone ever called you "spooky", "scary", or "wacky"?
31. Have you ever started screaming at people in a Hot Topic?
32. Do the people in the local Hot Topic know you by sight?
33. Do they know you by name?
34. Have you ever worn something from Hot Topic, seen another person wearing the same thing, and felt a deep sense of shame?
35. Do you hit the after-Halloween sales for year-round house decorations?
36. Are you a witch because you think its "dark"?
37. Do you own a non-standard pet, such as a ferret/lizard/black cat/etc.?
38. Do you have pictures of yourself in a cemetery?
39. Do you own any crosses even though you're not Christian?
40. Do you own any pentacles even though you're not Pagan?
41. Do you own "Sandman"?
42. Have you ever dressed as any of the Endless?
43. Is your wardrobe from any time period except the present (future/cyber included)?
44. Have you ever written dark poetry?
45. Do you have anything by Poe memorized?
46. Do you own any lunchboxes with gothic themes on them?
47. Have you ever used your lunchbox as a purse (counts for men too!)?
Part 4: Love Life
1. Have you ever dated someone you met at a goth club (one-nighters and affairs don't count)?
2. When/If you broke up, did it cause "club drama" for a while (if you know what it is, the answer is probably yes)?
3. Was your next relationship also someone you knew from the goth club?
4. Have you ever willingly gone to a Fetish Ball as a participant (no spectators or first-timers)?
5. Have you ever wanted to have sex in a cemetery?
6. Have you ever had sex in a cemetery?
7. Have you ever been in a goth club, seen a hot person, not known if it was a girl or a guy, but would have slept with them anyway?
8. Have you ever listened to "Marylin My Bitterness" because you really felt that way about someone?
9. Have you ever read an ex's LiveJournal/MySpace/Blog just to see if they were unhappy yet?
10. Have you ever tried to mess in (or up) a friend's love life while at the club?
11. Have you ever successfully ended a relationship while at the club?
12. Have you ever ended your own relationship (or had it ended) while at the club?
13. Have you ever been threatened by your significant other's friends or ex's while at the club?
14. Have you ever threatened your ex's new squeeze at the club?
15. Have you ever been in a club and seen more than two ex's?
16. Were they talking about you?
17. Have you ever used dark poetry as a pickup line?
18. Has anyone ever tried to impress you by listing how many gothic shows/festivals they've been to?
AssBat Test
Part 1: Music
1. Do you go to goth clubs?
2. Do you listen to the same music you hear at the club at home?
3. Do you have the music before the DJ?
4. Are you the DJ?
5. Are you very critical of other goth people's music?
6. Have you ever stumped other people with your goth music knowledge?
7. Have you ever stumped the DJ?
8. Have you ever wanted to DJ?
9. Do you judge goth clubs by their DJ's?
10. Have you ever traveled out of state just to see a band/hear a DJ?
11. Have you ever told someone that their band/music stinks (because you know what good music is)?
12. When someone says that Good Charlotte is real punk (or My Chemical Romance is goth, etc.), do you really want to kick their head in?
13. Have you ever given someone a mix CD as a token of affection in a club?
Part 2: Clubs
1. Have you ever dated more than one person at a goth club?
2. Do you know more than five people at a goth club?
3. Do you know the DJs?
4. Do you know DJs at multiple clubs?
5. Do you know the bartenders?
6. Have you ever traveled out of state just to go to another club?
7. Have you ever made fun of someone's dancing?
8. Have you ever made fun of someone's outfit?
9. Do you have a "club name"?
10. Have you ever hit someone while dancing (accidentally)?
11. Have you ever sat in a corner of the club all night drinking and being judgmental?
12. Have you ever waited all night to dance to one of your favorite songs, only to be joined by 20 people on the dance floor?
13. Have you ever said, "I'm not goth, I'm (rivet/graver/romantigoth/cyber/etc)"?
14. Have you ever told anyone you were a faerie/wolf/werewolf/vampire/etc, and it wasn't Halloween?
15. Do you own your own DJ equipment?
16. Do you ever practice?
17. Do you only smoke cloves because they match your outfit?
18. Do you smoke cloves outside of the club?
19. Have you ever told anyone you were a famous mythological/historical person, for example: Mina Harker/Dracula/Lord Byron/Queen Titania?
20. Do you drink red wine and pretend you're drinking blood?
21. Have you ever worn a slave collar hoping someone would take you home as a slave?
22. Have you ever carried a flogger hoping someone would ask to be beaten?
Part 3: Lifestyle
1. Is your wardrobe more than 50% black?
2. Do you have multiple piercings (more than the standard ear piercings)?
3. Do you have any tattoos?
4. Do you wear makeup in nonstandard colors (red, black) or glitter?
5. Have you ever worn hair extensions?
6. Do you have boots with a platform of over one inch?
7. Do you have any non-fabric clothing (metal chains, vinyl, rubber)?
8. Do you have a corset (this counts for men too!)?
9. Is your house/room usually kept dark?
10. Do you have over five candles in one room?
11. Have you ever been a model, even if it was just for a friend/website/etc?
12. Do you own The Crow (the book, not the movie!)?
13. Do you have any dried flowers on display in your house?
14. Do you have any decorations that involve skulls, rats, dragons or ravens?
15. Do you own anything with Jack Skellington (or Sally, or Lock, Shock & Barrel) on it?
16. Have you ever driven or ridden in a hearse?
17. Ever wanted to own a hearse?
18. Do you actually own a hearse?
19. Do you have a job that lets you sleep late and stay up late?
20. Do you work retail?
21. Have you done something strange to your hair (Guys, is your hair past your shoulders? Girls, is your head half-shaved? Both, is it a color that doesn't occur in nature?)?
22. Do you have specific eyewear just for the club (goggles, glasses, or contacts)?
23. Does your LiveJournal/MySpace/Blog have a black background or a special (more "goth") background?
24. Does the background involve dead animals or plants?
25. Have you ever ordered clothing online?
26. Have you ever ordered clothing from an obscure British/German/Japanese site/designer because nothing else was good enough and someone else might be wearing it?
27. Do you own any issues of "Gothic & Lolita Bible"?
28. Have you ever tried to design or make your own club clothes?
29. If you have goggles, have you ever worn them instead of sunglasses?
30. Has anyone ever called you "spooky", "scary", or "wacky"?
31. Have you ever started screaming at people in a Hot Topic?
32. Do the people in the local Hot Topic know you by sight?
33. Do they know you by name?
34. Have you ever worn something from Hot Topic, seen another person wearing the same thing, and felt a deep sense of shame?
35. Do you hit the after-Halloween sales for year-round house decorations?
36. Are you a witch because you think its "dark"?
37. Do you own a non-standard pet, such as a ferret/lizard/black cat/etc.?
38. Do you have pictures of yourself in a cemetery?
39. Do you own any crosses even though you're not Christian?
40. Do you own any pentacles even though you're not Pagan?
41. Do you own "Sandman"?
42. Have you ever dressed as any of the Endless?
43. Is your wardrobe from any time period except the present (future/cyber included)?
44. Have you ever written dark poetry?
45. Do you have anything by Poe memorized?
46. Do you own any lunchboxes with gothic themes on them?
47. Have you ever used your lunchbox as a purse (counts for men too!)?
Part 4: Love Life
1. Have you ever dated someone you met at a goth club (one-nighters and affairs don't count)?
2. When/If you broke up, did it cause "club drama" for a while (if you know what it is, the answer is probably yes)?
3. Was your next relationship also someone you knew from the goth club?
4. Have you ever willingly gone to a Fetish Ball as a participant (no spectators or first-timers)?
5. Have you ever wanted to have sex in a cemetery?
6. Have you ever had sex in a cemetery?
7. Have you ever been in a goth club, seen a hot person, not known if it was a girl or a guy, but would have slept with them anyway?
8. Have you ever listened to "Marylin My Bitterness" because you really felt that way about someone?
9. Have you ever read an ex's LiveJournal/MySpace/Blog just to see if they were unhappy yet?
10. Have you ever tried to mess in (or up) a friend's love life while at the club?
11. Have you ever successfully ended a relationship while at the club?
12. Have you ever ended your own relationship (or had it ended) while at the club?
13. Have you ever been threatened by your significant other's friends or ex's while at the club?
14. Have you ever threatened your ex's new squeeze at the club?
15. Have you ever been in a club and seen more than two ex's?
16. Were they talking about you?
17. Have you ever used dark poetry as a pickup line?
18. Has anyone ever tried to impress you by listing how many gothic shows/festivals they've been to?