[Short Story]A Bullet and a Cup of Coffee
This is a first draft. Criticism is welcome, no matter how harsh. I don't think it's that bad for being churned out in two hours with kids hounding me for things the whole time.
June took a sip of her coffee, a drag of her cigarette and looked down at the kitchen table. She set the cup down, exactly triangulated from the other two items on the table. After taking another drag, she set the cigarette down in the ashtray, the second point in the triangle. Looking down at her bulging stomach, June knew how much disapproval would be rained down on her at this point if anyone else were home. Thinking about the look on her mom’s and her fiancée’s face made her smile a tiny little smile. It was the first smile she’d had in a very long time.
Even before she had found out about the pregnancy, she hadn’t smiled much. Things were always too much. The scars on her arms were testimony to that. June wondered how her mom would feel if she knew they weren’t all self-inflicted. Some of them were, but just as many were the work of David. Every time he thought she had messed up and not remembered one of his rules, there was a circular burn scar from his cigars. June remembered when she had thought it was sexy that he smoked cigars like a man. These days she shuddered to think of him leaning back in his chair with that glint in his eyes. These days she was afraid of everything.
June looked down at the item that finished the triangle. She didn’t want to be afraid anymore. She didn’t want to wake up and wonder in what way she would misstep and anger someone. She didn’t want to be so worried that the child in her stomach was going to have the same life she did. June knew she wasn’t the prettiest girl in the world. The scars only amplified her plainness and turned it into something grotesque. There weren’t only scars on her arms, but on her face, her legs, her stomach and her chest. Some were burns and some were from blades. They were all either for having forgotten her rules or someone else’s.
As much as she wanted to, June couldn’t blame her mom. Times had always been hard and her mom had tried. She had given everything she could give. She had thought that June would be a new beginning and hoped that she could give her better then she had ever had. She had once told June that she had named her like she did, because her favorite thing had been the flowers that bloomed in the month of June. She had thought she would never see anything more beautiful than those flowers. Then she laid eyes on her precious baby girl. Alone she had given birth to her and alone she was going to raise her. It was better this way. June’s father hadn’t been any good to begin with and had disappeared three days after finding out about her conception.
June thought she could have only been so lucky if that had been David’s response. Instead he had been so proud that he had made something. As far as he was concerned, it was his accomplishment. She was just there as an accessory to it. Being the holder of his seed, new rules had been implemented. She took a sip of coffee and anther drag of her cigarette. Two of the rules had been no more nicotine and no more caffeine. More rules to remember meant more rules forgotten meant more scars and open wounds. June wiped a tear from the corner of her eye as she looked at the third item, the item that could make it all stop.
She had never held a gun before today. She had found this one in her mom’s closet when she had been cleaning it out for her. It was small and seemed heavy in her hands, much like the fetus in her stomach. Two things were so small, yet so heavy. June knew the second she picked it up this was the answer to all her problems. June knew that this would be the escape that she had so desperately needed. She had cradled it in her hands. She had figured out how to open the cartridge and found only one bullet. She had sat looking at the gun trying to determine if it would be better to kill David or her.
Sitting at the table now with her coffee, cigarette and pilfered gun, June still wasn’t sure. The thoughts raged in her head that this was the answer. One bullet would be her salvation either way. June was unsure what salvation it was she was looking for. She had been thinking about it for two weeks now and hadn’t come to a conclusion. She knew she would know today. Something in her gut told her that today was the day for her liberty. June lifted the gun to her temple.
The door creaked open. June looked up at David as he came in.
“What the fuck do you think you’re doing, you stupid fucking whore?”
June smiled a big smile for the first time in years. She knew what the right choice was.
June took a sip of her coffee, a drag of her cigarette and looked down at the kitchen table. She set the cup down, exactly triangulated from the other two items on the table. After taking another drag, she set the cigarette down in the ashtray, the second point in the triangle. Looking down at her bulging stomach, June knew how much disapproval would be rained down on her at this point if anyone else were home. Thinking about the look on her mom’s and her fiancée’s face made her smile a tiny little smile. It was the first smile she’d had in a very long time.
Even before she had found out about the pregnancy, she hadn’t smiled much. Things were always too much. The scars on her arms were testimony to that. June wondered how her mom would feel if she knew they weren’t all self-inflicted. Some of them were, but just as many were the work of David. Every time he thought she had messed up and not remembered one of his rules, there was a circular burn scar from his cigars. June remembered when she had thought it was sexy that he smoked cigars like a man. These days she shuddered to think of him leaning back in his chair with that glint in his eyes. These days she was afraid of everything.
June looked down at the item that finished the triangle. She didn’t want to be afraid anymore. She didn’t want to wake up and wonder in what way she would misstep and anger someone. She didn’t want to be so worried that the child in her stomach was going to have the same life she did. June knew she wasn’t the prettiest girl in the world. The scars only amplified her plainness and turned it into something grotesque. There weren’t only scars on her arms, but on her face, her legs, her stomach and her chest. Some were burns and some were from blades. They were all either for having forgotten her rules or someone else’s.
As much as she wanted to, June couldn’t blame her mom. Times had always been hard and her mom had tried. She had given everything she could give. She had thought that June would be a new beginning and hoped that she could give her better then she had ever had. She had once told June that she had named her like she did, because her favorite thing had been the flowers that bloomed in the month of June. She had thought she would never see anything more beautiful than those flowers. Then she laid eyes on her precious baby girl. Alone she had given birth to her and alone she was going to raise her. It was better this way. June’s father hadn’t been any good to begin with and had disappeared three days after finding out about her conception.
June thought she could have only been so lucky if that had been David’s response. Instead he had been so proud that he had made something. As far as he was concerned, it was his accomplishment. She was just there as an accessory to it. Being the holder of his seed, new rules had been implemented. She took a sip of coffee and anther drag of her cigarette. Two of the rules had been no more nicotine and no more caffeine. More rules to remember meant more rules forgotten meant more scars and open wounds. June wiped a tear from the corner of her eye as she looked at the third item, the item that could make it all stop.
She had never held a gun before today. She had found this one in her mom’s closet when she had been cleaning it out for her. It was small and seemed heavy in her hands, much like the fetus in her stomach. Two things were so small, yet so heavy. June knew the second she picked it up this was the answer to all her problems. June knew that this would be the escape that she had so desperately needed. She had cradled it in her hands. She had figured out how to open the cartridge and found only one bullet. She had sat looking at the gun trying to determine if it would be better to kill David or her.
Sitting at the table now with her coffee, cigarette and pilfered gun, June still wasn’t sure. The thoughts raged in her head that this was the answer. One bullet would be her salvation either way. June was unsure what salvation it was she was looking for. She had been thinking about it for two weeks now and hadn’t come to a conclusion. She knew she would know today. Something in her gut told her that today was the day for her liberty. June lifted the gun to her temple.
The door creaked open. June looked up at David as he came in.
“What the fuck do you think you’re doing, you stupid fucking whore?”
June smiled a big smile for the first time in years. She knew what the right choice was.