A simple farewell...
I've come to realize that this whole "blogging thing" was never something I was good at. Unlike a large number of people here, I don't have a lot I feel the need to post about. It's even hard for me to get an idea of what I should even do with this thing. So, I've just decided that it would be for the best if I just pretty much stated my intention to never post here again.
I doubt this comes as a surprise, seeing as how it's been at least a month since my last post. Yes, I'm too lazy to check the actual date. When my last post was, well... It really isn't that important to me, and that is pretty much the core of my issue with posting. I don't do this regularly enough to really warrant keeping an account, but I don't intend to delete the journal. Hell... I don't even read my friends page regularly any more, and I do apologize to my friends for that. Some of you have things that I've posted that you really enjoy reading over from time to time. Just because I'm not going to post again doesn't mean that you all shouldn't be allowed to read what I've placed here.
In truth, I really started this journal as a way I could try to gain a bit more information on spazure before we started dating, when we were still in the "see what we can learn without asking" phase. After she and I went our separate ways (and I really wish it would have been that simple), I stopped having a reason to post. I found a couple communities that I felt like I could share things in, but over time, the main journal just seems less important. So this will be the last post, most likely forever, that I make to this main journal. I may still post from time to time in other communities, but don't expect anything new here. Maybe some day I'll get a better sense of what I want to do with this and I'll start up again, but I don't see that time happening any time soon.
One final thing, that I feel I should make public... There are a few people that I feel I owe an apology to. Mostly for not being the person they expected me to be. They won't be named, but perhaps they'll stumble across this and know who they are. I'm not that "knight in shining armor" that was expected, but more of a "partner in crime" type. And when I didn't put enough focus into the things that matched with what you wanted to do with your life, then trouble followed. My tastes and dreams drift over time, and I suffer for it more than anyone else. I'm constantly trying to learn new things, but I'm still wired against the failures of my previous lives. As I feel I've gained a mastery over something esoteric, my mind wants to move on and master something else, and my skills with it wither away. If you think it's still right to blame me for not being able to hold to those ideals, fine. I apologize for not being the person you thought I would be for you. At the same time, it's not right for you to push me in that direction, and then "cut and run" when I can't bring myself to stand enough to move.
So I'm done... My online presence will be scaling back as I remove profiles I no longer need from places I no longer wish to be associated with. I've placed my name in a few too many places these days, and I think it right to remove them. Those of you that read this that also talk to me online, know that I'm not deleting my messengers, or changing the screen names. I can always be found on them, and I don't intend to change that any time soon.
I'm going to bed. Leave me IMs if you want, as I won't be replying to any comments in my journal any time soon. Comments screened because everyone should have the right to voice their opinion without the world needing to see it.
I doubt this comes as a surprise, seeing as how it's been at least a month since my last post. Yes, I'm too lazy to check the actual date. When my last post was, well... It really isn't that important to me, and that is pretty much the core of my issue with posting. I don't do this regularly enough to really warrant keeping an account, but I don't intend to delete the journal. Hell... I don't even read my friends page regularly any more, and I do apologize to my friends for that. Some of you have things that I've posted that you really enjoy reading over from time to time. Just because I'm not going to post again doesn't mean that you all shouldn't be allowed to read what I've placed here.
In truth, I really started this journal as a way I could try to gain a bit more information on spazure before we started dating, when we were still in the "see what we can learn without asking" phase. After she and I went our separate ways (and I really wish it would have been that simple), I stopped having a reason to post. I found a couple communities that I felt like I could share things in, but over time, the main journal just seems less important. So this will be the last post, most likely forever, that I make to this main journal. I may still post from time to time in other communities, but don't expect anything new here. Maybe some day I'll get a better sense of what I want to do with this and I'll start up again, but I don't see that time happening any time soon.
One final thing, that I feel I should make public... There are a few people that I feel I owe an apology to. Mostly for not being the person they expected me to be. They won't be named, but perhaps they'll stumble across this and know who they are. I'm not that "knight in shining armor" that was expected, but more of a "partner in crime" type. And when I didn't put enough focus into the things that matched with what you wanted to do with your life, then trouble followed. My tastes and dreams drift over time, and I suffer for it more than anyone else. I'm constantly trying to learn new things, but I'm still wired against the failures of my previous lives. As I feel I've gained a mastery over something esoteric, my mind wants to move on and master something else, and my skills with it wither away. If you think it's still right to blame me for not being able to hold to those ideals, fine. I apologize for not being the person you thought I would be for you. At the same time, it's not right for you to push me in that direction, and then "cut and run" when I can't bring myself to stand enough to move.
So I'm done... My online presence will be scaling back as I remove profiles I no longer need from places I no longer wish to be associated with. I've placed my name in a few too many places these days, and I think it right to remove them. Those of you that read this that also talk to me online, know that I'm not deleting my messengers, or changing the screen names. I can always be found on them, and I don't intend to change that any time soon.
I'm going to bed. Leave me IMs if you want, as I won't be replying to any comments in my journal any time soon. Comments screened because everyone should have the right to voice their opinion without the world needing to see it.