Alienation
A friend and I were talking today about men and their inability to form and maintain relationships.
Are the really disabled creatures? They seem to possess more emotions than women... and all the more restrictions in having them as well...
Why is it so hard for many men to open... to trust... to love... to express?
Why are they so distant from everything and everyone around them? Almost aloof ... almost not there.
The truth is... they are there. I've seen them. From their tears to their laughter. Their pain and pleasure. I've seen it all in my life.
Therefore... they must exist.
But no one acknowledges it. Maybe thats why men are such lonely creatures. Alienated by their own kind, their own society, their own world.
Everything is held inside... and no one dares to tread those territories. Out of respect for boundaries... out of respect for pride and ego... out of respect for culture and society.
Asian countries seem unashamed of allowing men to show emotion and affection to one another... and even applaud it. You see men holding hands, placing an arm over one another.
How quickly our own society would label this as awkward, wrong or gay.
haha... isn't it ironic that homosexuality seems to most prevalent in the very society that suppresses and condemns it.
But it is the macho men, the straight men, that have it the worst. Neither understanding women... nor connecting with other men. Not real connection anyways. Pain is laughed away... sorrow is hidden away.. tears are choked inside.
Everyone is yearning for a friend... for a connection... but no one knows how nor dares to find it.
There really isn't a way to go about it either. Far too many restrictions exist in this place... far too much etiquette and formality... almost poisoning everybody. Doesn't such manners defeat their purpose?
If everyone really is so indifferent... why are we dying inside for the touch of another... for contact with someone... for companions and company.
I told my friend that humans are the most pathetic of all creatures. Yes... we are the most intelligent, the most social, the most advanced... but really... we are our own prisoners... the slaves of our desires.
Sometimes i wish i was raised in a rural farm... a countryside... far away from corruption, influence, and taintedness. But then... how would i ever be able to face the ugly parts of the world?
Maybe i should've just been born an animal. Just eat, drink, sleep, poop and get eaten or die.
But i'm not one. So deal with it. Anyways, here is something i wrote years ago. It still holds true... for everyone new and old alike:
I've noticed something lately. It's about guys. Regardless of age, ethnicity, location, position, orientation, religion. They are very emotionally weak creatures. Inside of course. They are alone. Always. I guess the cliched and banal saying "Born alone, live alone, die alone" is cliched for a reason. Because it is so true. Most of the amazing gentlemen I've met in my lifetime, who possess every admirable trait and quality, seem so alone. It makes me wonder, why are these wonderful people so alienated? Is it because they do this to themselves? Or perhaps the world does not understand such stunning beauty. From my favorite cousin, to my closest friends, to co-workers and even strangers I've ran into, this theme seems to haunt them all. As a man, I can only ponder and analyze, getting no where really. Then again, men are never really understood, and perhaps that is the only thing they have in common with women. Yet, isn't it the woman who gives birth to the man? And isn't it the man, who shares this very womb, this very world, with his brothers and sisters? So why the loneliness and suffering?
Why is it that we can bridge two entirely different countries, continents, worlds... but we cannot build bridges between our own selves...?
What kind of hypocritical whore does this make me? I, who am disturbed by the workings of this world... cannot even step out of my own world to change what i dislike. How ironic... that the one who buys and sells love... cannot love.
It's funny that i mention this... because last week you tried to touch me. You reached out for a hug and i backed away.
I was never one to be strained by restrictions placed on us by society, by norms or cultures or the world.
I fail to accept the love of men. I fail to feel the love of women.
I am imprisoned by my own world.
For this i apologize to you.
You were wrong. It is not the desire of being desired that i possess. I fear being desired. It scares me to death. Accepting desire places you under the oath of pleasuring others. The one who is bought cannot be a prince.
I cannot stand the touch of humans.
The one whom I do touch... is not human... nor is of this world. They are an angel belonging to Heaven.
I could give a thousand performances, weave a thousand tales, paint a thousand portraits
Yet the world would still not understand.
"Tu bajja bajja kay enarak say
tera anhay hai vo anhay
kay shekashta ho to aziz tar
nigah hain ayna saaz mein"
"Though this world may not believe in what it cannot see
The spirit that does touch the heart, lives on eternally"
Are the really disabled creatures? They seem to possess more emotions than women... and all the more restrictions in having them as well...
Why is it so hard for many men to open... to trust... to love... to express?
Why are they so distant from everything and everyone around them? Almost aloof ... almost not there.
The truth is... they are there. I've seen them. From their tears to their laughter. Their pain and pleasure. I've seen it all in my life.
Therefore... they must exist.
But no one acknowledges it. Maybe thats why men are such lonely creatures. Alienated by their own kind, their own society, their own world.
Everything is held inside... and no one dares to tread those territories. Out of respect for boundaries... out of respect for pride and ego... out of respect for culture and society.
Asian countries seem unashamed of allowing men to show emotion and affection to one another... and even applaud it. You see men holding hands, placing an arm over one another.
How quickly our own society would label this as awkward, wrong or gay.
haha... isn't it ironic that homosexuality seems to most prevalent in the very society that suppresses and condemns it.
But it is the macho men, the straight men, that have it the worst. Neither understanding women... nor connecting with other men. Not real connection anyways. Pain is laughed away... sorrow is hidden away.. tears are choked inside.
Everyone is yearning for a friend... for a connection... but no one knows how nor dares to find it.
There really isn't a way to go about it either. Far too many restrictions exist in this place... far too much etiquette and formality... almost poisoning everybody. Doesn't such manners defeat their purpose?
If everyone really is so indifferent... why are we dying inside for the touch of another... for contact with someone... for companions and company.
I told my friend that humans are the most pathetic of all creatures. Yes... we are the most intelligent, the most social, the most advanced... but really... we are our own prisoners... the slaves of our desires.
Sometimes i wish i was raised in a rural farm... a countryside... far away from corruption, influence, and taintedness. But then... how would i ever be able to face the ugly parts of the world?
Maybe i should've just been born an animal. Just eat, drink, sleep, poop and get eaten or die.
But i'm not one. So deal with it. Anyways, here is something i wrote years ago. It still holds true... for everyone new and old alike:
I've noticed something lately. It's about guys. Regardless of age, ethnicity, location, position, orientation, religion. They are very emotionally weak creatures. Inside of course. They are alone. Always. I guess the cliched and banal saying "Born alone, live alone, die alone" is cliched for a reason. Because it is so true. Most of the amazing gentlemen I've met in my lifetime, who possess every admirable trait and quality, seem so alone. It makes me wonder, why are these wonderful people so alienated? Is it because they do this to themselves? Or perhaps the world does not understand such stunning beauty. From my favorite cousin, to my closest friends, to co-workers and even strangers I've ran into, this theme seems to haunt them all. As a man, I can only ponder and analyze, getting no where really. Then again, men are never really understood, and perhaps that is the only thing they have in common with women. Yet, isn't it the woman who gives birth to the man? And isn't it the man, who shares this very womb, this very world, with his brothers and sisters? So why the loneliness and suffering?
Why is it that we can bridge two entirely different countries, continents, worlds... but we cannot build bridges between our own selves...?
What kind of hypocritical whore does this make me? I, who am disturbed by the workings of this world... cannot even step out of my own world to change what i dislike. How ironic... that the one who buys and sells love... cannot love.
It's funny that i mention this... because last week you tried to touch me. You reached out for a hug and i backed away.
I was never one to be strained by restrictions placed on us by society, by norms or cultures or the world.
I fail to accept the love of men. I fail to feel the love of women.
I am imprisoned by my own world.
For this i apologize to you.
You were wrong. It is not the desire of being desired that i possess. I fear being desired. It scares me to death. Accepting desire places you under the oath of pleasuring others. The one who is bought cannot be a prince.
I cannot stand the touch of humans.
The one whom I do touch... is not human... nor is of this world. They are an angel belonging to Heaven.
I could give a thousand performances, weave a thousand tales, paint a thousand portraits
Yet the world would still not understand.
Click to view "Tu bajja bajja kay enarak say
tera anhay hai vo anhay
kay shekashta ho to aziz tar
nigah hain ayna saaz mein"
"Though this world may not believe in what it cannot see
The spirit that does touch the heart, lives on eternally"