a mighty wind
so, it's been a tough couple of weeks. a bunch of administrative and money stuff has tumbled atop my head and i don't deal well with bureaucratic stress. my self-righteous 'o meter kicks into high gear and i start acting like the queen of hearts, but sadly bureaucrats don't budge even under threat of decapitation. they know they've got what you need and they're in no hurry. why should they be, everybody's got problems and yours are not special. it is about this last point, of course, that we disagree.
but it is also true that just generally speaking, my mood has been less reliable than it was for about six months and i have been prone, in a way that i almost forgot about, to fits of melancholy. so sad, i thought that part of my emotional struggle was over, but it turns out i'm the same person i've always been. wonder of wonders (for the record, A was not at all surprised).
yesterday was particularly bad. i even wrote a maudlin entry that i reconsidered and decided to keep to myself. yeah, it was that bad. but thankfully i had an unexpectedly relaxing night at home last night -- ST brought home a compilation of classic jimmy cliff and we made dinner, a simple rigatoni pasta with sauce, dancing around to here comes the sun and the rivers of babylon among other mellow tunes. i am so grateful for ST and more than that, his unflappable determination to keep things low-key, that i can hardly articulate it. fate can press, press, press and somehow he pulls a gem out of the mess everytime. he's my coal compressor.
and overnight, the snowstorm that the weatherpeople have been promising finally came. when i took riley out this morning the ground was covered in at least six inches of white stuff. at first ry didn't want any part of it, but once i got him out the door he went nuts -- digging and running and hide-and-go-seeking (though i don't know if he was stalking me or waiting for me to chase him from his hiding places)-- it was good fun and those of you who know me know i never say that about snow.
after my adventure with riley, i had a long workout to get my endorphin fix and shore up my seratonin and now i'm settled at a new cafe on the northside called fix, waiting for my friend M who picked the place as well as T who's my regular wednesday writing buddy.
i have high hopes for productivity today. wish me luck.
but it is also true that just generally speaking, my mood has been less reliable than it was for about six months and i have been prone, in a way that i almost forgot about, to fits of melancholy. so sad, i thought that part of my emotional struggle was over, but it turns out i'm the same person i've always been. wonder of wonders (for the record, A was not at all surprised).
yesterday was particularly bad. i even wrote a maudlin entry that i reconsidered and decided to keep to myself. yeah, it was that bad. but thankfully i had an unexpectedly relaxing night at home last night -- ST brought home a compilation of classic jimmy cliff and we made dinner, a simple rigatoni pasta with sauce, dancing around to here comes the sun and the rivers of babylon among other mellow tunes. i am so grateful for ST and more than that, his unflappable determination to keep things low-key, that i can hardly articulate it. fate can press, press, press and somehow he pulls a gem out of the mess everytime. he's my coal compressor.
and overnight, the snowstorm that the weatherpeople have been promising finally came. when i took riley out this morning the ground was covered in at least six inches of white stuff. at first ry didn't want any part of it, but once i got him out the door he went nuts -- digging and running and hide-and-go-seeking (though i don't know if he was stalking me or waiting for me to chase him from his hiding places)-- it was good fun and those of you who know me know i never say that about snow.
after my adventure with riley, i had a long workout to get my endorphin fix and shore up my seratonin and now i'm settled at a new cafe on the northside called fix, waiting for my friend M who picked the place as well as T who's my regular wednesday writing buddy.
i have high hopes for productivity today. wish me luck.