Sep 04, 2006 14:41
According to CNN this afternoon, apparently Stingrays are now Al Qaeda suspects after they viciously killed beloved Crocodile Hunter, Steve Irwin. He was pierced through the heart after a sneak attack and was killed instantly.
Now, you don't have to fear Jaws, saltwater crocs, eels, barracudas, sharks, giant squid, killer whales (penguins are still under suspicion) when you go in the water.....the ocean has a new danger and the Al Qaeda have successfully conquered the depths through Stingrays.
Hide your children, don't go in the water without your swimmie floaties, shuffle that sand because in camoflauge they hide....poisonous barbs poised and waiting to send another infidel to their deaths. They may also be gathering for a yet another pre-emptive 9/11 strike on crowded beaches, aquariums and fish markets everywhere.
If you see one, please first swim far far away before calling your local authorities immediately.
The Federal Government has no suspect in custody but soon, National Guardsman, Navy and Coast Guard Reserves will be patroling all waters in every sea fairing vessel available to bring these sadistic and ruthless killers to justice. To make America, America's oceans (and maybe whatever is left of the world), a safer place to snorkel.
President Bush is expected to make a fervent speech later on today, preferrably interrupting one of your favorite television programs.
-Elle (Relaying the urgency with which CNN is covering this bizarre and unusual accident.)
Yes, my spelling is horrible...and my sympathies truly do go out to Steve Irwin's family. His wife, his eight year old daughter and three year old son.