(Untitled)

[deusexmechanic]

Admiral, take all the tech out of Rex's room, any personal projects, gone. Gimmie copies of the notes from whatever he's working on.

Take away his access to privacy filters on his journal, and... stick his snakes and his mice in my room. For now.

[Pause pause pause.]

[Filtered away from Rex]If anyone needs me I'll be in my cabin or in the

Comments

Private.

[thegooddrjones]

When things calm down a bit, Harper, I'd like to talk to you about some of the things Rex said when he injected me.

Private.

[deusexmechanic]

...Was it to do with you tattling about his rape, or liking Judas better than him?

Private.

[thegooddrjones]

No and yes in a round about way. It was about his using me as an excuse to avoid redemption. His words, not mine.

Private.

[deusexmechanic]

[Pause. Pauuuuuuse. He was going to just rage about how Rex had to get over his shit, but that was... some eerie self awareness there.]

What'd he say?

Private.

[thegooddrjones]

That he'd considered me responsible for him pushing away from redemption, but that he'd know it wasn't malicious for some time. And that he'd actually liked healing people in the infirmary. What he injected me with... it took that away from me, my ability to heal and help people. It took away my ability to care. I don't know how he did it, but I understand why.

Sometime far down the line, when things calm down for him and everyone else on board, I'm going to offer him a position in the infirmary, when you think he's ready, because now I know what that's like and how horrible it is.

He and I are even now, and I won't suspect the worst of him again.

Private.

[deusexmechanic]

You didn't take away his ability to--

[SEEEEEEEETHE]

Now? He fucking deserves to have you think the worst of him. Boo hoo, you kicked him outta the infirmary, if he'd been a bit less proud and bitter, and less of a jerk? Then he could have just approached you to offer his skills again! It doesn't justify destroying your mind! If he'd won? If he'd succeeded? That change would have been permanent, Martha! Don't you freakin' dare trying to tell me that doing that to someone is the moral equivalent of screwing up and making a bad call on someone.

You wanna forgive him? Great. You're a very good person. But don't say you're even.

Private.

[thegooddrjones]

I'm meaning even in the fact that I'm not going to beat myself up over this anymore. I've beat myself up over it for a long time, and I've let Rex say whatever he wanted to against me. I'm not going to do that anymore.

And don't think I'm not completely furious, because I am. I'm extremely furious. I'm furious he completely destroyed nearly everything that was at the core of me. I'm furious because I'd rather be dead than that and I hate that I know that about myself now. I'm furious about what he's done to my friends and everyone aboard this ship.

But I also know that somehow, in some way, the Doctors would have figured something out once they knew what it was, and they would have fixed it.