(no subject)
it's a good afternoon.
i'm in almost too good of a mood. it's to the point where i am suspicious that something awful is lurking around the corner, waiting to take me down. and down. am i that much of a pessimist?
lately i've been wondering what happned to good moods. euphoric moods. having that electric energy that cannot be contained. i used to get those, about a lot of things.
where have they gone? lately things just are. i'm operating in a kind of anisthetic haze.
i do get excited about things. one thing in particular has been very nice lately. but that excitement is being tempered. it's being managed perhaps by a part of me that is wary of it getting out of its cage.
it needs to be let out every once in a while, though. i need to re-learn that.
it's a great source of frustration for the that as i get older, i get more focused on goals and results, and less concerned with enjoying the process of certain things. adults run cost/benefit analyses on everything they come into contact with, because as you get older, you don't have the time to "fuck around". but i'm finding that kinda boring.
taking a trip this summer is flying in the face of that, and that makes me look forward to it all the more.
i'm in almost too good of a mood. it's to the point where i am suspicious that something awful is lurking around the corner, waiting to take me down. and down. am i that much of a pessimist?
lately i've been wondering what happned to good moods. euphoric moods. having that electric energy that cannot be contained. i used to get those, about a lot of things.
where have they gone? lately things just are. i'm operating in a kind of anisthetic haze.
i do get excited about things. one thing in particular has been very nice lately. but that excitement is being tempered. it's being managed perhaps by a part of me that is wary of it getting out of its cage.
it needs to be let out every once in a while, though. i need to re-learn that.
it's a great source of frustration for the that as i get older, i get more focused on goals and results, and less concerned with enjoying the process of certain things. adults run cost/benefit analyses on everything they come into contact with, because as you get older, you don't have the time to "fuck around". but i'm finding that kinda boring.
taking a trip this summer is flying in the face of that, and that makes me look forward to it all the more.