I just need a vacation...
It was the first day of the week yesterday, so it was time for me to start waking up around 10 a.m. It seems like it's been a while since I had to do that. Hrmm... Maybe it just seems that way since I've been working near 40 hours a week now. It's not that I'm burning out, but it seems like time goes by much slower now, or at least that's what I feel. I would love just one day off... Guess I'll have to wait until Christmas to get that, though. Maybe I just have too many worries in my life, but it's not like I can help that. Anyhow, I did my usual thing in the morning, got ready, left Lesa an e-mail, and went to work.
Mr. Kingston didn't have anything for us to do in class really. We have an exam today, but the only thing we had to do was some presentations, he picked three people out of the class to give us a run through of one of our programs. Two of the people weren't even there yesterday, so they got zeros, I can feel another big argument coming up today about that. *sigh* I just don't think Mr. Kingston is a very capable teacher, it's true that he knows the languages, but he's very poor at conveying and teaching that knowledge. Of course I know that I can go out and find what we need to learn, but that's not what my money is paying for, that's not what helps me the most... Working with the students and making sure they understand the concepts is what helps them, not scolding. Maybe I'm just ranting again, but he has to be the worst teacher in my career as a student...
Dave offered an extra hour for the first three days of the week if I wanted them. I was unsure at first, but I thought of it as more money I could spend on Lesa, so I made up my mind. I told Lesa that I would call her, because I thought I wouldn't be going in until 6:30 p.m. before, so I called her while on the way, thankfully she wasn't mad at me or anything. ^_^ Being at work itself was pretty boring, we were slow the entire night, and I finished the tasks Dave left me pretty quickly, I just had to finish some marketing and other "tune-ups" to the store before the big wigs come tomorrow. I feel a little bad, for the last hour of work, I just read the World of Warcraft guide... Again. -_-;
I talked to Lesa for a little bit after work, she was watching Monday Night Football, we ended up arguing with each other for a while, and we got off the phone to cool off. I really hate arguing with her, and I always feel horrible about it, even now. She went and watched the rest of football and I went to play Halo 2. She called back around 12:30 a.m. because the game was going on too long. I apologized for the way I acted before, and it seems like we were going to have a good night... *sigh* She holds too much inside herself, it tears her apart sometimes. Today she found out that John hasn't paid rent yet, as well as car insurance for three months.
It's really frustrated, and I'm still pissed off about it. It's not even just this instance too, John does this constantly, and it's more than annoying. For a man so much older than me, if I were to guess his age it would be a couple years younger than me. You might of figured that after everything that has happened that he would learn that sometimes you need to pay bills. I feel like I just want to tear into him, but there's not a damn thing I can do, which is the most frustrating part. After four months, Lesa has finally gotten the chance to put money in the bank to save, and John goes and fucks up his entire pay check, doesn't pay any bills, and doesn't pay for presents for his own son. *sigh* I thought this would make me feel better, but it doesn't.
I just feel like crap about everything. We had a plan, we thought we knew what was going to happen, and what we were going to do. But after this, I feel like we may never be together. I feel like Lesa may never be able to leave because John is too ignorant to provide for himself even, not to mention the three boys he wants custody over. I feel like I need to get a good job right out of school, I feel that if I don't, I may never be with Lesa. I'm confused, I'm frustrated, and it's terrifying to say so, but I'm a step away from hopeless...
Mr. Kingston didn't have anything for us to do in class really. We have an exam today, but the only thing we had to do was some presentations, he picked three people out of the class to give us a run through of one of our programs. Two of the people weren't even there yesterday, so they got zeros, I can feel another big argument coming up today about that. *sigh* I just don't think Mr. Kingston is a very capable teacher, it's true that he knows the languages, but he's very poor at conveying and teaching that knowledge. Of course I know that I can go out and find what we need to learn, but that's not what my money is paying for, that's not what helps me the most... Working with the students and making sure they understand the concepts is what helps them, not scolding. Maybe I'm just ranting again, but he has to be the worst teacher in my career as a student...
Dave offered an extra hour for the first three days of the week if I wanted them. I was unsure at first, but I thought of it as more money I could spend on Lesa, so I made up my mind. I told Lesa that I would call her, because I thought I wouldn't be going in until 6:30 p.m. before, so I called her while on the way, thankfully she wasn't mad at me or anything. ^_^ Being at work itself was pretty boring, we were slow the entire night, and I finished the tasks Dave left me pretty quickly, I just had to finish some marketing and other "tune-ups" to the store before the big wigs come tomorrow. I feel a little bad, for the last hour of work, I just read the World of Warcraft guide... Again. -_-;
I talked to Lesa for a little bit after work, she was watching Monday Night Football, we ended up arguing with each other for a while, and we got off the phone to cool off. I really hate arguing with her, and I always feel horrible about it, even now. She went and watched the rest of football and I went to play Halo 2. She called back around 12:30 a.m. because the game was going on too long. I apologized for the way I acted before, and it seems like we were going to have a good night... *sigh* She holds too much inside herself, it tears her apart sometimes. Today she found out that John hasn't paid rent yet, as well as car insurance for three months.
It's really frustrated, and I'm still pissed off about it. It's not even just this instance too, John does this constantly, and it's more than annoying. For a man so much older than me, if I were to guess his age it would be a couple years younger than me. You might of figured that after everything that has happened that he would learn that sometimes you need to pay bills. I feel like I just want to tear into him, but there's not a damn thing I can do, which is the most frustrating part. After four months, Lesa has finally gotten the chance to put money in the bank to save, and John goes and fucks up his entire pay check, doesn't pay any bills, and doesn't pay for presents for his own son. *sigh* I thought this would make me feel better, but it doesn't.
I just feel like crap about everything. We had a plan, we thought we knew what was going to happen, and what we were going to do. But after this, I feel like we may never be together. I feel like Lesa may never be able to leave because John is too ignorant to provide for himself even, not to mention the three boys he wants custody over. I feel like I need to get a good job right out of school, I feel that if I don't, I may never be with Lesa. I'm confused, I'm frustrated, and it's terrifying to say so, but I'm a step away from hopeless...