(no subject)
The things on my mind... are things that I debate whether or not they are acceptable for livejournal. But then what's the point of having one if I can't use it? private, friends only all that yadda yadda gets confusing when all I want (in the first place) is an outlet. I have a live journal. it's been a couple years now. So now I'm not allowed enjoy the benefits because I don't want to write about bullshit I don't care about.. I feel like talking about shit thats nagging and is begging for resolve. Anything I write I might regret directly after. And then I'll have to delete it? lame. whateverrrrrrrr
You'd think that I'm the master elusive bitch that can disappear on demand. I just keep doing it. But then look at Josh. It seems that I'm incapable of doing that to him even when I feel like I really need to. Why can't I when it's so easy for him to do it to me? But WHAT IF I don't need to in the first place? WHAT IF I should anyways?
He deserved an apology and at least an explanation. But I'm such a fucking bitch. Now he still sneers but is probably beyond any need of anything from me. So do I take advantage of the rediculous coincidence that I have a window of opportunity to attempt to make up for it? I'd have less then a couple of weeks for any hope of reconciliation; any petty "sorry" would have more of a selfishly positive effect on me rather than on the person who deserves(ed) it. Does he deserve (now) that I just stay the fuck away from him? Sorry?
&&& Ok so now I get why people take don't take max units. Will I do it again? If I have to.
You'd think that I'm the master elusive bitch that can disappear on demand. I just keep doing it. But then look at Josh. It seems that I'm incapable of doing that to him even when I feel like I really need to. Why can't I when it's so easy for him to do it to me? But WHAT IF I don't need to in the first place? WHAT IF I should anyways?
He deserved an apology and at least an explanation. But I'm such a fucking bitch. Now he still sneers but is probably beyond any need of anything from me. So do I take advantage of the rediculous coincidence that I have a window of opportunity to attempt to make up for it? I'd have less then a couple of weeks for any hope of reconciliation; any petty "sorry" would have more of a selfishly positive effect on me rather than on the person who deserves(ed) it. Does he deserve (now) that I just stay the fuck away from him? Sorry?
&&& Ok so now I get why people take don't take max units. Will I do it again? If I have to.