(no subject)
cancer. cancer... the word fills my mouth like vomit; it fills the room with overwhelming heaviness.
grandma has cancer. but no one says, "grandma has cancer," everyone just says "she's sick." lung cancer. a golfball sized tumor in the upper right lobe. it was operable, or so we thought, a week ago. she went for a bone scan and ct scan last week, and yesterday, we got the bad news. the cancer has metastisized to at least one lymph node and possibly her left lung as well. so now the only option is chemo and/or radiation.
grandma. sick. my grandma. i can't imagine life without her. she knew she was sick months ago but no one would listen. the doctor didn't know why she felt sick. so she decided to request a chest xray herself. she would start there, and go on to another test if nothing was there. well she didn't have to look any further. no one is surprised. she has been smoking since she was 18. im surprised it took this long to get sick.
she needs peace and quiet and a healing, calm environment but no. that's not allowed in this family. my aunt is in her late 40s. she is a drunk. she is engaged to my mother's ex-husband, my sister's father. and she cannot bear to be anything but the center of attention. she lives at my grandmothers house and pays nothing - no rent no electricity, nothing. last time i visited, she told me to go fuck myself. WHAT. my mom thinks she's jealous of everything i have. i think she's just crazy. grandma doesn't need this. she is always stirring the pot causing trouble. i want to know why people can't just get over themselves and come together to help. fighting just wears grandma out and she hasn't even started treatment.
my grandfather is devastated. he has always been sick. i have never known him as anything but sick. he can't walk anymore. he falls often and the fire department has to come pick him up. my grandma does everything she can for him. his wife, his first and only love. and now she's sick.
cancer. what a terrible word.
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grandma has cancer. but no one says, "grandma has cancer," everyone just says "she's sick." lung cancer. a golfball sized tumor in the upper right lobe. it was operable, or so we thought, a week ago. she went for a bone scan and ct scan last week, and yesterday, we got the bad news. the cancer has metastisized to at least one lymph node and possibly her left lung as well. so now the only option is chemo and/or radiation.
grandma. sick. my grandma. i can't imagine life without her. she knew she was sick months ago but no one would listen. the doctor didn't know why she felt sick. so she decided to request a chest xray herself. she would start there, and go on to another test if nothing was there. well she didn't have to look any further. no one is surprised. she has been smoking since she was 18. im surprised it took this long to get sick.
she needs peace and quiet and a healing, calm environment but no. that's not allowed in this family. my aunt is in her late 40s. she is a drunk. she is engaged to my mother's ex-husband, my sister's father. and she cannot bear to be anything but the center of attention. she lives at my grandmothers house and pays nothing - no rent no electricity, nothing. last time i visited, she told me to go fuck myself. WHAT. my mom thinks she's jealous of everything i have. i think she's just crazy. grandma doesn't need this. she is always stirring the pot causing trouble. i want to know why people can't just get over themselves and come together to help. fighting just wears grandma out and she hasn't even started treatment.
my grandfather is devastated. he has always been sick. i have never known him as anything but sick. he can't walk anymore. he falls often and the fire department has to come pick him up. my grandma does everything she can for him. his wife, his first and only love. and now she's sick.
cancer. what a terrible word.
Post from mobile portal m.livejournal.com