A Lady and a Scholar
At least that's what I PRETEND to be.
I am a refined woman who has the tendency to make diry jokes and throw in the always appropriate "that's what she said" jokes. It gets me everytime. I burp, and I am more comfortable in skinny jeans and chucks than a dress and heels...I can't even WALK in heels! My desk is never tidy and I cannot cook. And when I say I cannot cook...I mean I am afraid to learn, and you should be afraid as well. I have the WORST luck in the kitchen, I nearly set my kitchen on fire making tea...TEAA!! Not a gormet meal, or even a TV dinner, those are somewhat excusable, but TEA!? I know you are wondering how that happened...let me explain.
So, there I was, sore throat and all, craving something warm and delicious to sooth my scratchy and stuffy insides. And I wanted something warm and delicious NOW! I placed the pot of water on the stove (GAS STOVE, kind of an excuse, if it had been electric, I would REALLY suck). Then to expedite the process, I placed the tea bag IN the pot. Before I continue, now that I think back, that was sooo unnecessary, that would have taken only about 2 seconds off my tea-making time, but I whatever, I was sick...it made sense at the time. So, I place the tea bag in the pot (HA! TEABAG! Get it!?), but I fail to realize that the paper portion of the bag is dangling off the side of the pot and the flames from the glass stove light it on fire. I was also in the process of making toast to accompany my Lipton tea, and placed the paper plate on the stove top. Why? I do not know. So, the fire on the tea bag sets the plate ablaze, and now I have a full-on bonfire. I beat out the fire, carefully set everything the way it was, and leave the kitchen with no intention of EVER coming back to that deathtrap.
Along with my cooking ability, I am also a scholar. I am a learned person in many areas of knowledge who has the tendency to turn in papers so late and with such poor quality, that they may as well not even be graded. This scholar here just did that yesterday with a paper that was due two days ago. I started the paper the day it was due, and turned it in the next day. And the quality was...something else. You wanna know how good the quality was? The quality of my paper was the equilvalent of me throwing up on my laptop, printing off whatever words were created from that vomit, stapling it, and turning it in. Word vomit. We'll see how that one works out for me.
This is a long JE. I'm a scholar, but if I were you I wouldnt have even read it. Its so long...HA!! That's what she said!!!
I am a refined woman who has the tendency to make diry jokes and throw in the always appropriate "that's what she said" jokes. It gets me everytime. I burp, and I am more comfortable in skinny jeans and chucks than a dress and heels...I can't even WALK in heels! My desk is never tidy and I cannot cook. And when I say I cannot cook...I mean I am afraid to learn, and you should be afraid as well. I have the WORST luck in the kitchen, I nearly set my kitchen on fire making tea...TEAA!! Not a gormet meal, or even a TV dinner, those are somewhat excusable, but TEA!? I know you are wondering how that happened...let me explain.
So, there I was, sore throat and all, craving something warm and delicious to sooth my scratchy and stuffy insides. And I wanted something warm and delicious NOW! I placed the pot of water on the stove (GAS STOVE, kind of an excuse, if it had been electric, I would REALLY suck). Then to expedite the process, I placed the tea bag IN the pot. Before I continue, now that I think back, that was sooo unnecessary, that would have taken only about 2 seconds off my tea-making time, but I whatever, I was sick...it made sense at the time. So, I place the tea bag in the pot (HA! TEABAG! Get it!?), but I fail to realize that the paper portion of the bag is dangling off the side of the pot and the flames from the glass stove light it on fire. I was also in the process of making toast to accompany my Lipton tea, and placed the paper plate on the stove top. Why? I do not know. So, the fire on the tea bag sets the plate ablaze, and now I have a full-on bonfire. I beat out the fire, carefully set everything the way it was, and leave the kitchen with no intention of EVER coming back to that deathtrap.
Along with my cooking ability, I am also a scholar. I am a learned person in many areas of knowledge who has the tendency to turn in papers so late and with such poor quality, that they may as well not even be graded. This scholar here just did that yesterday with a paper that was due two days ago. I started the paper the day it was due, and turned it in the next day. And the quality was...something else. You wanna know how good the quality was? The quality of my paper was the equilvalent of me throwing up on my laptop, printing off whatever words were created from that vomit, stapling it, and turning it in. Word vomit. We'll see how that one works out for me.
This is a long JE. I'm a scholar, but if I were you I wouldnt have even read it. Its so long...HA!! That's what she said!!!