The Truth Is Hard To Swallow [Twenty-Nine]
Title: The Truth Is Hard To Swallow [Twenty-Nine]
Author: detourtoyou
Rating: NC-17 overall
Pairing: Jack/Alex
POV: 3rd
Summary: Of course the one time he decided to act his age, Alex would end up messing even that up. But in his defense, it was hard to act his age when he was faced with things so entirely beyond his age and maturity level, like a one-night decision that decided to follow him into the rest of his life.
Warning: Mpreg
Disclaimer: This is sadly false and a complete lie created by my mind. Title taken from Toxic Valentine by All Time Low.
Dedication: For an amazing person whom I love dearly with all my heart, Mike damnedifidoyah <3
A/N: This is as best as I could get with this chapter, so up it goes. On another note, just two more chapters left after this! (Unless I somehow come with with something else lol) I'm excited.
To say that Jack was freaking out was probably too much of an understatement. If anything, he was probably more frightened than Alex, half-screaming between taking too quick breaths and losing all nerves to a puddle of melted good. He was terrified, staring from Alex to the door and back, like he wasn’t sure if he was allowed to touch Alex or if he could call for help. If he wasn’t in such horribly intense pain, Alex would have laughed at how utterly panicked Jack had looked.
“Jack,” Alex croaked, wishing he would do something. Like get help. Or get him to a fucking hospital because hello, the baby wanted out.
Reacting to the desperate call of his name, Jack sobered long enough to help Alex up, half-carrying him, half-walking him, and took him downstairs and out to his car.
“It’s okay, Alex. It’s okay. Just, uh, breathe. Yeah. Just breathe. It’ll be okay,” he chanted in rapid succession, starting the ignition and gunning the accelerator. Alex lurched just a little in his seat, nails digging into his thigh in an attempt to keep his mind off the pain. “Don’t worry. We’re getting closer. You’ll be fine, and Landon Beckett Ian Clyde will be fine. And we’ll just be fine, and oh dear God, I don’t think I’m ready for this!”
At about the third red light that Jack almost nearly ran, Alex could feel the pain loosening inch by inch until it was gone. He sat up slowly, listening to Jack exclaim a slew of curse words and mindless babbles that he was certain didn’t mean a single thing besides maybe “fuck”.
“Jack.”
“What? What? Is something wrong? Is the baby coming out right now? But wait, you have to have like, a C-section or something, right? How the fuck is this going to work? Just - just tell it to wait until we get to the hospital! Can you?” he spluttered, hysterical.
Alex interrupted, upping the volume of his voice, “Jack! I’m fine! You don’t have to drive like a manic. I think it was just like, false labor or something. My mom told me about it.”
Jack slammed on the brakes, barely stopping just in time as the light on yet another stoplight flashed red. He turned to face Alex, relief pouring in waves over his visage as he asked, “Wait, really? Seriously? So, you’re not like, about to have the baby bust out of your stomach or anything?”
“Yes, really. I’m fine,” he reiterated, fingers still spread out across his lower abdomen.
Leaning back in his seat, Jack let out a small laugh. “Fuck. Oh my God, fuck. That was fucking close,” he breathed, the nervous energy pouring out with each word. Behind them, a car honked its horn angrily, irritated by their lack of motion. He ignored him, making a U-turn and heading back for Alex’s house with breathy laughs.
“Dude. Just tell it to wait until we get to the hospital?” repeated Alex with a raised brow and a twitching mouth, amusement dancing in his eyes.
Jack huffed, saying defensively, “Hey! I was freaked out! I didn’t want you giving birth in my car!”
“Right,” smirked Alex, chuckling to himself. “Although, I’m still about two weeks away before I’m due so I guess I should’ve been able to guess this.”
“Wait, you’re not even near your due date?” The car jerked as Jack made a right turn with only one hand on the wheel, and Alex reached out to brace himself against the car door, straightening himself to throw Jack a disapproving glare.
Once comfortably situated back in the fabric of the car seat, Alex nodded, saying absently, “Yeah. Well, I guess two weeks is pretty close to my due date, but yeah. It’s still not expected until two weeks.” Alex brushed his finger along the window, tracing out letters to the names they had been deciding between. “I thought you knew that?”
A guilty look of discomfort washed Jack’s face as he set his eyes on the road in front of them. “No. I didn’t know,” he spoke. “We never really talked about the baby, and it’s not like I actually kept track…”
Mouth imitating a perfect circle, Alex exhaled softly. “Oh, right…” It was so easy to forget, now that he and Jack were getting along and actually discussing the baby and all things related to it, that Jack hadn’t been there with him for the entire length of the pregnancy. That originally, Jack had scorned him and turned his nose up at Alex. The past few weeks had melted all the previous animosity between them and smoothed over any remaining jagged ends. So it felt strange to remember that Jack wasn’t always this supportive, nervous but more accepting pillar by his side.
“Well, now we are and now you can,” Alex remarked with a finality to his words that edged back the smile onto Jack’s face.
“Yeah,” he agreed softly. “Yeah.” Hesitantly, Jack grabbed Alex’s fingers just lying on top of his protruding stomach, squeezing once before letting go to replace them on the steering wheel.
Alex stared over at him, lips cracking into a smile. There was something there, maybe insignificant and maybe meaningful, but it was there. Alex could feel it, and he was in no rush to figure it out. This was enough. This was more than enough, and just knowing that they wouldn’t fall into these awkward moments of past grievances made his heart swell. He let his eyes drift down to the growing baby hidden underneath his shirt and skin and mouthed a quiet, “thank you” to it, laying his head against the glass window to watch the passing houses.
By the time they were walking back through the door, Alex caught sight of his mother sitting at the kitchen table, a cup of coffee in her hands and a weary look wrinkling her features. Almost immediately, Alex sobered up, forgetting about teasing Jack for being such a little girl when he thought the baby was coming. Jack, unable to see past Alex and into the kitchen, laughed again.
“Shit man, I really though the baby was just gonna bust through.”
“Hi, Mom,” greeted Alex quietly, taking small steps into the kitchen. He felt the compulsive need to sit down in front of her and spill every last secret he had been harboring. Even the ones he didn’t know he had.
“Oh, hi, sweetie. Did something happen?” she asked, greeting them both with a smile. Jack quickly apologized as he came up behind Alex, slightly horrified that he had been caught cursing in front of Alex’s mom.
“Sort of. I went into false labor,” he explained with a wave of his hand, finally sitting down. There was just too much weight for him to remain standing for long period of time, and her eyes followed him. He wondered if there was something else he was hiding from her that she found in his room that he potentially had forgotten about. “Is there something wrong?”
The lines around her mouth creased as she took a sip of the coffee, saying softly, “Not wrong, just. Something I need to tell you.” She turned to Jack, no hostility in her gaze. “You might want to sit down as well, Jack, since this concerns you too.”
He sat almost immediately, exchanging a puzzled look with Alex.
“Mom, is something wrong?” Alex pressed, frightened.
“I guess I should tell the two of you that,” she took in a deep breath, letting it out with her next words and a wince, “I called off the wedding.”
The declaration hung in the air, and Alex grasped uselessly for his shattered vocal chords. Next to him, Jack was making choked noises, barely passable as human language and akin to something a choking dolphin would make. Alex was the first to regain himself, tying his vocal chords back together, and wheezed out, “What?”
His mom smiled, winced, and tapped the handle of the mug with painted fingernails. “I called off the wedding,” she repeated easily, like there was no meaning to her words. Like they were just a filler used to buffer and facilitate conversation. But the look of shame was high on her cheeks, colored brightly, and her eyes fell to the table, unable to meet with Alex’s or Jack’s. This was real. His mom was telling the truth.
“But. Why?”
And there it was, that flitting look of a secret. Her mouth pinched together, pretending to smooth out without any remaining crinkles, but Alex knew better. He could already see where this was headed and hoped desperately that he was wrong for once.
“Jack’s father and I don’t exactly… see eye-to-eye on the current situation. We don’t really agree on how it should be handled, and well.” She drew in another breath, contemplating her next few word choices while Alex and Jack sat on, silent. “I’m more supportive of you two than he is, and I’m not exactly sure I could marry someone who won’t be supportive of our own sons.”
His heart crashed. His fucking heart crashed. Alex slumped back in his chair, bottom lip convulsing as he heard all the words his mother didn’t speak. They were breaking up because of him. His mom and Jack’s dad weren’t getting married because of him and his stupid mistake. He was the reason. He was the damn reason of everything, and it wasn’t enough to just fuck over his life, but he had to take Jack, Jack’s dad, and his mom down with him into the dirt. Alex willed the tears biting at his eyes to disappear. He willed himself to just disappear. Fade into the background with the wallpaper and just never reappear until everyone had forgotten about his existence and was happy.
“It’s my fault,” Alex corrected her, voice dropping fantastically.
“No! No, no, sweetie. It’s not your fault,” his mom reassured him quickly, hands waving. “Please don’t think that, Alex. Jack’s dad and I just have different views on t he situation between you and Jack, and unfortunately, those views are just different enough for us to agree that this marriage might not work. It’s not either of your faults, okay? The decision was mine, so please don’t think it’s your fault.”
Alex could not quiet the voice in his head simply repeating how it was because it was. Even if it had been his mom’s decision, her decision had been made based on him. He let out a sharp exhale, the words tumbling out before he could even process them, “Wait, Mom. No. Do you - do you still love Jack’s dad?”
She wouldn’t look at him. “I’m sorry, Alex.” His heart clenched, tight and breaking.
“My dad,” Jack began, hesitating. He gripped the edge of the table. “What did my dad say? About me and Alex.”
Mrs. Gaskarth looked decidedly uncomfortable, sneaking glances over to the sink before speaking, “That isn’t so much important, Jack. What’s done is done.”
“Mrs. Gaskarth,” he spoke again, catching both the Gaskarths attentions, “please tell me what he said.” And there was such a stripped pull of pleading to his tone, such a yearning desperation, that she couldn’t turn him down.
“Your father disapproves. Of everything. He thinks Alex should give up the baby for a closed adoption, and that none of us should ever talk about it,” she summarized in quick breaths. “I thought it would be better to let you both handle the matter and decide what you all wanted to do, but your father didn’t necessarily agree with me. I just want to let Alex choose what’s best for him and for the baby.”
Jack rapped his knuckles sharply on the table, fist clenched tightly as he muttered, “I knew it.” His voice rose with each next word, directed towards no one in particular. “I fucking knew it. He’s such a hypocrite. He’s such a goddamn hypocrite. I’m not the only one who made this mistake.”
“Jack?”
He abruptly stood up, mouth pressed into a thin line. “Excuse me. I need to… I have to go talk to him.”
“Jack, that may not be the best idea,” remarked Alex’s mother, attempting to stand up. But Jack was already at the door. She turned to Alex who immediately hopped up to his feet, one hand on his back while the other cradled his belly and he ran as best as he could.
“Jack! Jack, fucking wait!” The teen was already halfway onto the street when Alex got off the last step, the elevator in their apartment building still broken. He huffed, watching his car swerve out of the parking lot. He cursed with his last breaths and sat down, every part of his body aching from the strain of waddling down three flights of stairs.
When his body stopped humming and the sweat dried against his skin, leaving it sticky and just a little malodorous, Alex stood back up and made the trip back up to his home, feet moving sluggishly with each lift. He maybe understood, now that he had given himself time to think, that this was something Jack needed to deal with, and Alex had no right to butt in.
“Let’s just hope your daddy isn’t a complete dumbass and gets himself kicked out of his house and disowned, yeah, Landon Beckett Ian Clyde?” muttered Alex with a hand massaging his stomach just the slightest. A kick to his kidney was the agreeing response, and Alex rolled his eyes with just a shade of amusement coloring his face. He wasn’t going to worry that Jack would turn on him again after speaking with his father. Not anymore. There was something there between them, and Alex was done denying it. He was sure as hell that Jack was too, and that was enough.
Author: detourtoyou
Rating: NC-17 overall
Pairing: Jack/Alex
POV: 3rd
Summary: Of course the one time he decided to act his age, Alex would end up messing even that up. But in his defense, it was hard to act his age when he was faced with things so entirely beyond his age and maturity level, like a one-night decision that decided to follow him into the rest of his life.
Warning: Mpreg
Disclaimer: This is sadly false and a complete lie created by my mind. Title taken from Toxic Valentine by All Time Low.
Dedication: For an amazing person whom I love dearly with all my heart, Mike damnedifidoyah <3
A/N: This is as best as I could get with this chapter, so up it goes. On another note, just two more chapters left after this! (Unless I somehow come with with something else lol) I'm excited.
To say that Jack was freaking out was probably too much of an understatement. If anything, he was probably more frightened than Alex, half-screaming between taking too quick breaths and losing all nerves to a puddle of melted good. He was terrified, staring from Alex to the door and back, like he wasn’t sure if he was allowed to touch Alex or if he could call for help. If he wasn’t in such horribly intense pain, Alex would have laughed at how utterly panicked Jack had looked.
“Jack,” Alex croaked, wishing he would do something. Like get help. Or get him to a fucking hospital because hello, the baby wanted out.
Reacting to the desperate call of his name, Jack sobered long enough to help Alex up, half-carrying him, half-walking him, and took him downstairs and out to his car.
“It’s okay, Alex. It’s okay. Just, uh, breathe. Yeah. Just breathe. It’ll be okay,” he chanted in rapid succession, starting the ignition and gunning the accelerator. Alex lurched just a little in his seat, nails digging into his thigh in an attempt to keep his mind off the pain. “Don’t worry. We’re getting closer. You’ll be fine, and Landon Beckett Ian Clyde will be fine. And we’ll just be fine, and oh dear God, I don’t think I’m ready for this!”
At about the third red light that Jack almost nearly ran, Alex could feel the pain loosening inch by inch until it was gone. He sat up slowly, listening to Jack exclaim a slew of curse words and mindless babbles that he was certain didn’t mean a single thing besides maybe “fuck”.
“Jack.”
“What? What? Is something wrong? Is the baby coming out right now? But wait, you have to have like, a C-section or something, right? How the fuck is this going to work? Just - just tell it to wait until we get to the hospital! Can you?” he spluttered, hysterical.
Alex interrupted, upping the volume of his voice, “Jack! I’m fine! You don’t have to drive like a manic. I think it was just like, false labor or something. My mom told me about it.”
Jack slammed on the brakes, barely stopping just in time as the light on yet another stoplight flashed red. He turned to face Alex, relief pouring in waves over his visage as he asked, “Wait, really? Seriously? So, you’re not like, about to have the baby bust out of your stomach or anything?”
“Yes, really. I’m fine,” he reiterated, fingers still spread out across his lower abdomen.
Leaning back in his seat, Jack let out a small laugh. “Fuck. Oh my God, fuck. That was fucking close,” he breathed, the nervous energy pouring out with each word. Behind them, a car honked its horn angrily, irritated by their lack of motion. He ignored him, making a U-turn and heading back for Alex’s house with breathy laughs.
“Dude. Just tell it to wait until we get to the hospital?” repeated Alex with a raised brow and a twitching mouth, amusement dancing in his eyes.
Jack huffed, saying defensively, “Hey! I was freaked out! I didn’t want you giving birth in my car!”
“Right,” smirked Alex, chuckling to himself. “Although, I’m still about two weeks away before I’m due so I guess I should’ve been able to guess this.”
“Wait, you’re not even near your due date?” The car jerked as Jack made a right turn with only one hand on the wheel, and Alex reached out to brace himself against the car door, straightening himself to throw Jack a disapproving glare.
Once comfortably situated back in the fabric of the car seat, Alex nodded, saying absently, “Yeah. Well, I guess two weeks is pretty close to my due date, but yeah. It’s still not expected until two weeks.” Alex brushed his finger along the window, tracing out letters to the names they had been deciding between. “I thought you knew that?”
A guilty look of discomfort washed Jack’s face as he set his eyes on the road in front of them. “No. I didn’t know,” he spoke. “We never really talked about the baby, and it’s not like I actually kept track…”
Mouth imitating a perfect circle, Alex exhaled softly. “Oh, right…” It was so easy to forget, now that he and Jack were getting along and actually discussing the baby and all things related to it, that Jack hadn’t been there with him for the entire length of the pregnancy. That originally, Jack had scorned him and turned his nose up at Alex. The past few weeks had melted all the previous animosity between them and smoothed over any remaining jagged ends. So it felt strange to remember that Jack wasn’t always this supportive, nervous but more accepting pillar by his side.
“Well, now we are and now you can,” Alex remarked with a finality to his words that edged back the smile onto Jack’s face.
“Yeah,” he agreed softly. “Yeah.” Hesitantly, Jack grabbed Alex’s fingers just lying on top of his protruding stomach, squeezing once before letting go to replace them on the steering wheel.
Alex stared over at him, lips cracking into a smile. There was something there, maybe insignificant and maybe meaningful, but it was there. Alex could feel it, and he was in no rush to figure it out. This was enough. This was more than enough, and just knowing that they wouldn’t fall into these awkward moments of past grievances made his heart swell. He let his eyes drift down to the growing baby hidden underneath his shirt and skin and mouthed a quiet, “thank you” to it, laying his head against the glass window to watch the passing houses.
By the time they were walking back through the door, Alex caught sight of his mother sitting at the kitchen table, a cup of coffee in her hands and a weary look wrinkling her features. Almost immediately, Alex sobered up, forgetting about teasing Jack for being such a little girl when he thought the baby was coming. Jack, unable to see past Alex and into the kitchen, laughed again.
“Shit man, I really though the baby was just gonna bust through.”
“Hi, Mom,” greeted Alex quietly, taking small steps into the kitchen. He felt the compulsive need to sit down in front of her and spill every last secret he had been harboring. Even the ones he didn’t know he had.
“Oh, hi, sweetie. Did something happen?” she asked, greeting them both with a smile. Jack quickly apologized as he came up behind Alex, slightly horrified that he had been caught cursing in front of Alex’s mom.
“Sort of. I went into false labor,” he explained with a wave of his hand, finally sitting down. There was just too much weight for him to remain standing for long period of time, and her eyes followed him. He wondered if there was something else he was hiding from her that she found in his room that he potentially had forgotten about. “Is there something wrong?”
The lines around her mouth creased as she took a sip of the coffee, saying softly, “Not wrong, just. Something I need to tell you.” She turned to Jack, no hostility in her gaze. “You might want to sit down as well, Jack, since this concerns you too.”
He sat almost immediately, exchanging a puzzled look with Alex.
“Mom, is something wrong?” Alex pressed, frightened.
“I guess I should tell the two of you that,” she took in a deep breath, letting it out with her next words and a wince, “I called off the wedding.”
The declaration hung in the air, and Alex grasped uselessly for his shattered vocal chords. Next to him, Jack was making choked noises, barely passable as human language and akin to something a choking dolphin would make. Alex was the first to regain himself, tying his vocal chords back together, and wheezed out, “What?”
His mom smiled, winced, and tapped the handle of the mug with painted fingernails. “I called off the wedding,” she repeated easily, like there was no meaning to her words. Like they were just a filler used to buffer and facilitate conversation. But the look of shame was high on her cheeks, colored brightly, and her eyes fell to the table, unable to meet with Alex’s or Jack’s. This was real. His mom was telling the truth.
“But. Why?”
And there it was, that flitting look of a secret. Her mouth pinched together, pretending to smooth out without any remaining crinkles, but Alex knew better. He could already see where this was headed and hoped desperately that he was wrong for once.
“Jack’s father and I don’t exactly… see eye-to-eye on the current situation. We don’t really agree on how it should be handled, and well.” She drew in another breath, contemplating her next few word choices while Alex and Jack sat on, silent. “I’m more supportive of you two than he is, and I’m not exactly sure I could marry someone who won’t be supportive of our own sons.”
His heart crashed. His fucking heart crashed. Alex slumped back in his chair, bottom lip convulsing as he heard all the words his mother didn’t speak. They were breaking up because of him. His mom and Jack’s dad weren’t getting married because of him and his stupid mistake. He was the reason. He was the damn reason of everything, and it wasn’t enough to just fuck over his life, but he had to take Jack, Jack’s dad, and his mom down with him into the dirt. Alex willed the tears biting at his eyes to disappear. He willed himself to just disappear. Fade into the background with the wallpaper and just never reappear until everyone had forgotten about his existence and was happy.
“It’s my fault,” Alex corrected her, voice dropping fantastically.
“No! No, no, sweetie. It’s not your fault,” his mom reassured him quickly, hands waving. “Please don’t think that, Alex. Jack’s dad and I just have different views on t he situation between you and Jack, and unfortunately, those views are just different enough for us to agree that this marriage might not work. It’s not either of your faults, okay? The decision was mine, so please don’t think it’s your fault.”
Alex could not quiet the voice in his head simply repeating how it was because it was. Even if it had been his mom’s decision, her decision had been made based on him. He let out a sharp exhale, the words tumbling out before he could even process them, “Wait, Mom. No. Do you - do you still love Jack’s dad?”
She wouldn’t look at him. “I’m sorry, Alex.” His heart clenched, tight and breaking.
“My dad,” Jack began, hesitating. He gripped the edge of the table. “What did my dad say? About me and Alex.”
Mrs. Gaskarth looked decidedly uncomfortable, sneaking glances over to the sink before speaking, “That isn’t so much important, Jack. What’s done is done.”
“Mrs. Gaskarth,” he spoke again, catching both the Gaskarths attentions, “please tell me what he said.” And there was such a stripped pull of pleading to his tone, such a yearning desperation, that she couldn’t turn him down.
“Your father disapproves. Of everything. He thinks Alex should give up the baby for a closed adoption, and that none of us should ever talk about it,” she summarized in quick breaths. “I thought it would be better to let you both handle the matter and decide what you all wanted to do, but your father didn’t necessarily agree with me. I just want to let Alex choose what’s best for him and for the baby.”
Jack rapped his knuckles sharply on the table, fist clenched tightly as he muttered, “I knew it.” His voice rose with each next word, directed towards no one in particular. “I fucking knew it. He’s such a hypocrite. He’s such a goddamn hypocrite. I’m not the only one who made this mistake.”
“Jack?”
He abruptly stood up, mouth pressed into a thin line. “Excuse me. I need to… I have to go talk to him.”
“Jack, that may not be the best idea,” remarked Alex’s mother, attempting to stand up. But Jack was already at the door. She turned to Alex who immediately hopped up to his feet, one hand on his back while the other cradled his belly and he ran as best as he could.
“Jack! Jack, fucking wait!” The teen was already halfway onto the street when Alex got off the last step, the elevator in their apartment building still broken. He huffed, watching his car swerve out of the parking lot. He cursed with his last breaths and sat down, every part of his body aching from the strain of waddling down three flights of stairs.
When his body stopped humming and the sweat dried against his skin, leaving it sticky and just a little malodorous, Alex stood back up and made the trip back up to his home, feet moving sluggishly with each lift. He maybe understood, now that he had given himself time to think, that this was something Jack needed to deal with, and Alex had no right to butt in.
“Let’s just hope your daddy isn’t a complete dumbass and gets himself kicked out of his house and disowned, yeah, Landon Beckett Ian Clyde?” muttered Alex with a hand massaging his stomach just the slightest. A kick to his kidney was the agreeing response, and Alex rolled his eyes with just a shade of amusement coloring his face. He wasn’t going to worry that Jack would turn on him again after speaking with his father. Not anymore. There was something there between them, and Alex was done denying it. He was sure as hell that Jack was too, and that was enough.