Keep the feeding tube away from me!
I want everyone in the world to know this, just in case.
If I should ever suffer an injury or illness that leaves me in a persistent vegetative state, or "minimally conscious", do not leave me lying in a hospital bed with a feeding tube down my throat. Do not allow me to remain hooked up to a machine that breathes for me. Do not take any measures whatsoever to keep me alive once the doctors have told you I have no brain activity. If I do have some brain activity, but part of my brain has turned into a Jell-O-like substance, the same thing applies. In other words, don't be idiots.
Please try not to let the federal government step in to intervene. And if the president gets involved, print out and highlight this part:
"You're an idiot. I didn't vote for you. I don't want your help. You're an embarrassment to our political system. This is no way to improve the health care in our country. Why don't you do something about the ridiculous cost of prescriptions instead of messing around with me? Oh, and by the way, stem cell research might have found a way to cure even me, but NOOOOOOOO, you don't support that, you'd rather have my family accumulate massive medical bills that they could never possibly pay off."
There. I feel much better knowing that people are now aware of my wishes. Please note: in the event of such a tragedy, there is a piece of paper lying around somewhere that says the same thing if anyone contests it.