Unhappy Anniversary
When thevulgartrade reminded me that today is Johnny Cash's birthday, I realized something else.
It was three years ago today (actually, about three years and fifty-one minutes now) I deployed to Iraq.
I can't even begin to accurately summarize how many ways my life has changed in these past three years. I feel like I'm almost a completely different person. I suppose I am, really, with the exception of shared past with the person I ceased to be 26 February, 2004.
To be honest, I'm grateful I had the opportunity to become the person I am today, even with the myriad consequences. I'm very careful to not wish away any event in my past, simply because I know that without the sum of these experiences I might not be me, but some other essence inhabiting and animating this body of mine.
Ultimately, I don't care what the cost has been; there are people in my life I wouldn't trade for any idealized autobiography I could invent. Each one of you reading this are one of those people. Some of you have been friends of mine on LJ since before that deployment. Some of you have come afterward, and I'm glad I've had the opportunity to get to know you. If I hadn't gone, I might never have gotten the chance. Some of you I've met, some of you I haven't. Some of you I've become very close with outside of LiveJournal. One of you I've fallen in love with. I wouldn't give any of this up.
So maybe it isn't an unhappy anniversary. Maybe it is a day to commemorate, not with thoughts of what was lost along the way, but what was gained. I can't be sad or angry today because a kid I knew once died, or because of the adversity I dealt with while I was there. Everything that has happened since 26 February 2004 has carved me into the person I am today, and has brought with it many friends I couldn't have imagined prior to that deployment.
Thank you for being a part of that change in my life. Each one of you is someone special to me, a sign that something lost can be something gained, a reminder that sometimes what is important isn't where we are in life, but who is there with us.
Thank you for being here with me.
It was three years ago today (actually, about three years and fifty-one minutes now) I deployed to Iraq.
I can't even begin to accurately summarize how many ways my life has changed in these past three years. I feel like I'm almost a completely different person. I suppose I am, really, with the exception of shared past with the person I ceased to be 26 February, 2004.
To be honest, I'm grateful I had the opportunity to become the person I am today, even with the myriad consequences. I'm very careful to not wish away any event in my past, simply because I know that without the sum of these experiences I might not be me, but some other essence inhabiting and animating this body of mine.
Ultimately, I don't care what the cost has been; there are people in my life I wouldn't trade for any idealized autobiography I could invent. Each one of you reading this are one of those people. Some of you have been friends of mine on LJ since before that deployment. Some of you have come afterward, and I'm glad I've had the opportunity to get to know you. If I hadn't gone, I might never have gotten the chance. Some of you I've met, some of you I haven't. Some of you I've become very close with outside of LiveJournal. One of you I've fallen in love with. I wouldn't give any of this up.
So maybe it isn't an unhappy anniversary. Maybe it is a day to commemorate, not with thoughts of what was lost along the way, but what was gained. I can't be sad or angry today because a kid I knew once died, or because of the adversity I dealt with while I was there. Everything that has happened since 26 February 2004 has carved me into the person I am today, and has brought with it many friends I couldn't have imagined prior to that deployment.
Thank you for being a part of that change in my life. Each one of you is someone special to me, a sign that something lost can be something gained, a reminder that sometimes what is important isn't where we are in life, but who is there with us.
Thank you for being here with me.