Defeat
I just don't know what else to do.
DtJohnMunch: "That what thirty years gets you, John? 'Sergeant'." Goddamn, I wanted to beat the smirk off his face
AbbieCarmichael: Oh, John...*takes his hand* I would have wanted to in your shoes..
AbbieCarmichael: Maybe you and Logan could kick his ass together..
DtJohnMunch: no...
DtJohnMunch: ::his shoulders slump::
AbbieCarmichael: *releases his hand and puts an arm around him* It's ok.....
AbbieCarmichael: Stabler's got his own issues....he fights with everybody, from what I hear..
DtJohnMunch: Except for Frankie...::sighs::
AbbieCarmichael:You're doing a good job, John..
DtJohnMunch: I haven't been this anxious in a long time...
DtJohnMunch: It's...it's been making me sick...
DtJohnMunch: I don't know how much longer I can do it, abbie...
AbbieCarmichael: I-I had no idea, J...*hugs him tight*
AbbieCarmichael: Do you think managing some other squad would help?
DtJohnMunch: I can't do it...he was right...
AbbieCarmichael: Stabler was right? C'mon, J, we both know it's not true
DtJohnMunch: ::he swallows hard, looking a little sick::
AbbieCarmichael: *moves so she can look John in the eye* If you do leave....it won't change how I feel about you at all. So don't worry, J.
DtJohnMunch: ::he gets up, going to the bathroom, shutting the door behind him::
AbbieCarmichael: *stands up and goes to the door, worry evident in her voice*J? Are you ok?
DtJohnMunch: ::the sound of vomiting::
AbbieCarmichael: *tries to open the door*
DtJohnMunch: ::it's unlocked::
AbbieCarmichael: *opens the door*
DtJohnMunch: ::he's on the floor, clutching the toilet with two latex-gloved hands::
AbbieCarmichael: *sits down on the tile beside the toilet, rubbing his back*
AbbieCarmichael: How long have you been like this, John?
DtJohnMunch: ::shakes his head::
AbbieCarmichael: That long?
DtJohnMunch: ::hoarsely:: He's right...I am weak...I shouldn't be doing this...
AbbieCarmichael: You are not weak....any more than it's my fault I got attacked.
DtJohnMunch: I don't want to go back...they know I'm weak..
DtJohnMunch: I let down my guard...I showed them...
DtJohnMunch: ...they don't respect me....
DtJohnMunch: ...none of them do....
AbbieCarmichael: Then you don't have to go back, John...
DtJohnMunch: I won't.
AbbieCarmichael: They don't deserve you anyway.
DtJohnMunch: 'm not going back
DtJohnMunch: Retiring, is what I'm doing
AbbieCarmichael: *nods* That may be a good idea...I don't like seeing you upset like this..
AbbieCarmichael: Besides, you've earned it.
DtJohnMunch: no shit.
DtJohnMunch: ::he rubs his eyes:: ::small:: I wanted to do good...I did...
AbbieCarmichael: *looks in his eyes, her voice quiet* You did do good. You did all that you could do.
AbbieCarmichael: They put you in a tough situation with no preperation, but you did the best you could.
DtJohnMunch: ...and I failed...
AbbieCarmichael: You have nothing to be ashamed of. They're the ones acting like children.
AbbieCarmichael: You didn't fail.
DtJohnMunch: yeah...I did...
DtJohnMunch: "That what thirty years gets you, John? 'Sergeant'." Goddamn, I wanted to beat the smirk off his face
AbbieCarmichael: Oh, John...*takes his hand* I would have wanted to in your shoes..
AbbieCarmichael: Maybe you and Logan could kick his ass together..
DtJohnMunch: no...
DtJohnMunch: ::his shoulders slump::
AbbieCarmichael: *releases his hand and puts an arm around him* It's ok.....
AbbieCarmichael: Stabler's got his own issues....he fights with everybody, from what I hear..
DtJohnMunch: Except for Frankie...::sighs::
AbbieCarmichael:You're doing a good job, John..
DtJohnMunch: I haven't been this anxious in a long time...
DtJohnMunch: It's...it's been making me sick...
DtJohnMunch: I don't know how much longer I can do it, abbie...
AbbieCarmichael: I-I had no idea, J...*hugs him tight*
AbbieCarmichael: Do you think managing some other squad would help?
DtJohnMunch: I can't do it...he was right...
AbbieCarmichael: Stabler was right? C'mon, J, we both know it's not true
DtJohnMunch: ::he swallows hard, looking a little sick::
AbbieCarmichael: *moves so she can look John in the eye* If you do leave....it won't change how I feel about you at all. So don't worry, J.
DtJohnMunch: ::he gets up, going to the bathroom, shutting the door behind him::
AbbieCarmichael: *stands up and goes to the door, worry evident in her voice*J? Are you ok?
DtJohnMunch: ::the sound of vomiting::
AbbieCarmichael: *tries to open the door*
DtJohnMunch: ::it's unlocked::
AbbieCarmichael: *opens the door*
DtJohnMunch: ::he's on the floor, clutching the toilet with two latex-gloved hands::
AbbieCarmichael: *sits down on the tile beside the toilet, rubbing his back*
AbbieCarmichael: How long have you been like this, John?
DtJohnMunch: ::shakes his head::
AbbieCarmichael: That long?
DtJohnMunch: ::hoarsely:: He's right...I am weak...I shouldn't be doing this...
AbbieCarmichael: You are not weak....any more than it's my fault I got attacked.
DtJohnMunch: I don't want to go back...they know I'm weak..
DtJohnMunch: I let down my guard...I showed them...
DtJohnMunch: ...they don't respect me....
DtJohnMunch: ...none of them do....
AbbieCarmichael: Then you don't have to go back, John...
DtJohnMunch: I won't.
AbbieCarmichael: They don't deserve you anyway.
DtJohnMunch: 'm not going back
DtJohnMunch: Retiring, is what I'm doing
AbbieCarmichael: *nods* That may be a good idea...I don't like seeing you upset like this..
AbbieCarmichael: Besides, you've earned it.
DtJohnMunch: no shit.
DtJohnMunch: ::he rubs his eyes:: ::small:: I wanted to do good...I did...
AbbieCarmichael: *looks in his eyes, her voice quiet* You did do good. You did all that you could do.
AbbieCarmichael: They put you in a tough situation with no preperation, but you did the best you could.
DtJohnMunch: ...and I failed...
AbbieCarmichael: You have nothing to be ashamed of. They're the ones acting like children.
AbbieCarmichael: You didn't fail.
DtJohnMunch: yeah...I did...